Breakups as HTTP Response Codes

103: Early Hints ("I'm not sure this can last forever.")

300: Multiple Choices ("There are so many ways I can do better than you.")

303: See Other ("You should date other people.")

304: Not Modified ("With you, I feel like I'm stagnating.")

402: Payment Required ("I am a prostitute.")

403: Forbidden ("You don't get this any more.")

406: Not Acceptable ("I could never introduce you to my parents.")

408: Request Timeout ("You keep saying you'll propose but you never do.")

409: Conflict ("We hate each other.")

410: Gone (ghosted)

411: Length Required ("Your penis is too small.")

413: Payload Too Large ("Your penis is too big.")

416: Range Not Satisfied ("Our sex life is boring and repretitive.")

425: Too Early ("Your premature ejaculation is a problem.")

428: Precondition Failed ("You're still sleeping with your ex-!?")

429: Too Many Requests ("You're so demanding!")

451: Unavailable for Legal Reasons ("I'm married to somebody else.")

502: Bad Gateway ("Your pussy is awful.")

508: Loop Detected ("We just keep fighting.")