Tag: joke

Dad Joke of the Day came to me early when some fellow dog walkers coming the other way said "Hello, gorgeous!"

"Ooh, thank you!" I replied, nonchalantly tussling my hair and striking a coquetteish pose.

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Dan poses with a coquetteish grin while walking a French Bulldog along a gravelled rural path.

Star network topologies are more common, but you can still occasionally find these...

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A bus lane sign with the 'e' missing, so it says "bus lan".

If the Romans played bingo, do you think the callers would have used 'bingo lingo'?

• Legs two
• Growing up the wall, four
• Seagull in flight, five
• Long-nosed dead man, nineteen
• Pornography, thirty
• Use your tongue, fifty-nine
• Smiling in a blindfold, a hundred and one

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An American-style bingo card with Roman numerals in place of the numbers and 'quadrum gratuitum' in place of the free space. Based on an original photo by Oeil De Vautour / Edwin Torres, used under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

Went to a West End theatre wearing my "Slamilton" t-shirt.

In this corridor, during the act break, a stranger spotted it and did a double-take.

"Is that...? wait... that's not Hamilton!", they said.

I seized my chance.

"It's Slamilton," I replied. "You know: 'Who slams, who jams, who tells their story.'"

And then, after a pause: "What's 'Hamilton'???"

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Dan, a white man with a goatee beard and a blue ponytail, wears a 'Slamilton' t-shirt in a theatre stairwell.

Have I posted this joke before? It's all a Blur.

Accessible description: Dan, a white man with a goatee beard and a faded blue ponytail, stands in a darkened kitchen. Turning to the camera, he says "I get up when I want, except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the tadpoles." Then he holds up a book entitled "Pond Life".

Hanging with my team at our meetup in Istanbul, this lunchtime I needed to do some accessibility testing...

(with apologies to anybody who doesn't know that in user interface design, a "kebab menu" is one of those menu icons with a vertical line of three dots: a vertical ellipsis)

When you love Jesus but you're sick of Him blocking your driveway.

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Orange garage on a tropical hillside, on the front of which are painted the words: 'Jesus is Lord. I love him.' And then below and between those lines: 'No parking'.

In spite of their signage, Costa weren't happy to take my old jockstrap for recycling.

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Sign made from a clipboard, in a coffee shop, reading "All cups welcome. We'll recycle any cup, from anywhere. Just hand to one of our team."