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Dan is at a point of an open, polyamorous, V-shaped relationship with his partner, Ruth, and her husband, JTA. They live together at their house near Oxford along their two children (biologically Ruth and JTA’s owing to Dan’s sterilisation but co-parented). In case you’ve not come across those terms before:

  • V-shaped: there are two relationships here, “hinged” around a person in the middle. In our case, Ruth has a relationship with her husband, JTA, and with her boyfriend, Dan.
  • Polyamorous: polyamory is the practice of being in a multiple simultaneous negotiated non-monogamous relationships. It’s not cheating: everybody knows about it and they’re all okay with it.
  • Open: an open relationship is one in which the parties involved are free to date other people. Not all polyamorous relationships are open relationships, and not all open relationships are polyamorous. It’s complicated. The short of it is, Dan is both “in a relationship” and “available”.

Further reading might include:


  1. PolyCouple PolyCouple says:

    My partner and I have been married for 5 years and poly for life. While we have been polyamorous together things have been a bit difficult, running into issues here and there. After we changed our ‘rules’ to be simply just open communication and honesty things got a lot easier. Thanks for your posting, we love reading about other people in similar relationships and how to navigate the emotions behind everything.

  2. dan t dan t says:

    Hi from the past . wooooooooooo .

  3. Olde Folkes Olde Folkes says:

    Congrats! Our triad has been going 27 years strong, semi-open (pre-approved only), after an 8 year one ended with the loss of a vertex and 3 years in mourning. So don’t let anyone tell ya alternate life choices can’t work out!

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