Notes – Dan Q

No green wine gums

No green and only two black wine gums in this bag? Feeling robbed.

Sainsburys Grapes

Sainsburys grapes confuse me.

500g of white grapes are £2. 500g or red grapes are £2.20. So you’d expect 500g of half-red, half-white grapes to be… £2.10, right? But no, that’s £2 too.

So buying 500g of white grapes and 500g of red grapes is cheaper if you buy the mixed packs and then separate them. Why!?

Shipslasher

I want to write a successful YA fiction where all the characters are boats. Just ‘cos I want to see people ‘shipping ships.

Also, one of my characters will be called Slash.

Chuck Wagon

Apparently, zero of the imagineers building this Disneyland Paris cafe conceived that “Chuck Wagon” sounds like what a cowboy would call a wheeled vomit trough. 😂

An unexpected start to the kids’ and I’s glamping weekend last night when the static caravan behind our dome burned to the ground. We spent most of our night half way down a field watching the fire crews tackle the blaze.

(Nobody was injured; the residents were able to escape out of a window.)

F-Day plus 151

A hundred and fifty one days since we were flooded out of our house, and I needed to visit to meet a contractor. The garden’s starting to get a little wild, this summer: we’ve been periodically visiting to mow the lawn, but our hedge seems to have decided that this could be the year that it will consume the gate once and for all…

Ramming speed!

Trouble brewing at the village carnival’s decorated-bike competition as, for perhaps the first time in history, a viking longship rams and boards an X-wing of the Rebel Alliance.

Doggone Gorgeous

Dad Joke of the Day came to me early when some fellow dog walkers coming the other way said “Hello, gorgeous!”

“Ooh, thank you!” I replied, nonchalantly tussling my hair and striking a coquetteish pose.

Lorem Ipsum Thank You For Your Enquiry

Always reassuring when you fill in a company’s contact form and the next page is placeholder text…

A Litre of Coffee

Some mornings… you just gotta make a whole damn litre of coffee.

(for iced coffee purposes, of course; and definitely not just for me!)

Hot Dog Mess

Demmy would like to know why I haven’t turned off the UK’s heatwave yet. 🥵

Iced coffee and air con

Iced coffee and air con. Possibly the only things that’ll keep me sane, working in the UK’s current heatwave (especially with the schools closed and kids sent home!).

F-Day plus 130

A hundred and thirty days since we got flooded out of our home, and remedial works are starting to ramp up. Today an electrician, tracing a fault that’s developed in the wiring, cut a hole through a wall to repair it and threw up so much dust that it’s hard to see anything!

I was nearby, helping a restoration company assess the damage to the ride-on lawnmower that was in the garage and whose motor hasn’t started since (the garage saw some of the deepest water that hit us), when I heard the fire alarm and went to check on them. All is well: we don’t need to add ‘fire’ to the list of disasters befalling our house this year!