I saw a variation of this email back in the day, which provides a Mad Libs style approach to formulating a country & western song. When I was reminded of it today, I adapted it for Perchance. Give it a go!
Kind: Notes
Underprepared?
Me? Underprepared? (He says, literally writing his presentation in the bar at the event…)
The Right Prop
Sometimes you just gotta have exactly the right prop for a presentation…
Better In Our App
What they say: “This site works better in our app.”
What they mean (optimistic): “We couldn’t be bothered to make a good website.”
What they mean (realistic): “We can track and monetise you better if we can coerce you into installing this.”
The Road (Segment) Less Travelled
There are two junctions at which I can join the A40 trunk road from my house. When I drive East, I use the Easternmost of the two; when I drive West, I use the Westernmost; but I almost never drive the stretch of road between them!
A few years ago I generated heatmaps of my movements based on my long-running personal location log and, indeed, it shows a “cool spot” along this section of road too:
It’s inevitable I suppose that there should exist a “road (segment) less-travelled” right on my doorstep, but it still feels strange. Like when you live near a tourist attraction that you never get around to visiting. Except instead of a tourist attraction, I live near a major highway I rarely use.
Maybe I’m missing out on something great. Probably the commuters who use that road to get into and out of Oxford don’t think so.
Everyday Magic
Having lost the (stupid, proprietary) charging cable for my smartwatch, and not been able to find it for several days, I’ve undertaken the magical ritual that’s most-certain to make it reappear: ordering a replacement one.
Sarson’s
Do you think the 80s/90s advertisement campaign for Sarson’s vinegar – “Don’t say vinegar, say Sarson’s” – ever worked?
Like: have you ever heard anybody ask you to “pass the Sarson’s”?
Fedicard
Magical
For World Book Day (which here in the UK is marked a month earlier than the rest of the world) the kids’ school invited people to come “dressed as a word”.
As usual, the kids and teachers participated along with only around two other adults. But of course I was one of them.
This year, I was “magical”.
Cable Gore
If you enjoy a bit of “cable gore”, let me introduce you to the fusebox cupboard at my house, with its plethora of junctions, fuses, breakers, switches, timers, and cabling everywhere! Banana for scale.
Loud Helpline
I guess installing a sign was cheaper than retraining the helpline operators not to shout at everybody.
Golden Axed
Hot on the heels of my victory over Wonder Boy 35 years after I first played it, I can now finally claim to have beaten Golden Axe, 25 years after I first played it.
Couldn’t have done it without my magic-wielding 7-year-old co-op buddy.
Where?
I’m pretty sure that Wally/Waldo, Woof, and Wizard Whitebeard must be out on this mountain somewhere, too.
Installation of Windows has Stalled
I was told Windows installation should take less than 20 minutes, but these ones have been sitting outside my house all day while the builders sit on the roof and listen to the radio. Do I need a faster processor? #TechSupport
Open Turds
I’ve open-sourced a lot of pretty shit code.
So whenever somebody says “I’m not open-sourcing this because the code is shit”, I think: wow, it must be spectacularly bad.
And that only makes me want to see it more.