Ramming speed!

Trouble brewing at the village carnival’s decorated-bike competition as, for perhaps the first time in history, a viking longship rams and boards an X-wing of the Rebel Alliance.

A cardboard longship collides with an X wing in a grassy field.

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Yodawg

“Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm.”

A fawn-coloured French Bulldog wrapped in a blanket in a way reminiscent of robes. This, combined with her wrinkled features, makes her look a little like Yoda.

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Optional AUP

Got to say, it’s very sporting of AWS to make compliance with their terms of service and acceptable use policy optional.

Screenshot of dropdown field labelled 'Will you will comply with AWS Service Terms and AUP - optional', currently set to 'Yes'. The label is saying that the field is optional, but the joke is that it sounds like complying with the terms of service is optional.

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Spoon bucket

This is a repost promoting content originally published elsewhere. See more things Dan's reposted.

I got a spoon bucket for my birthday! 🥄

2 gallon white plastic bucket, labeled: - Flatware Circus - Spoon Bucket - Discover the wonder of spoons with this randomized collection contained within a convenient bucket - 30 miscellaneous spoons inside one bucket

Wait, this is a real thing?

OMG it is.

New life goal unlocked!

Evaluation: wild success, a very pleasing range of spoons (and two tiny forks)

11 small piles of stainless steel flatware sorted by type, with 1-7 items per pile. 10 types are spoons, 1 is tiny forks.

The same guy behind these also does buckets of forks. And vlogs about silverware in general.

Everything about that is excellent.

Oh, and happy birthday Jamie, I guess!

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Watch it twice

Something’s gone wrong on the Jellyfin server I use to manage my household’s film library, resulting in some unexpectedly-funny repetition…

TV screen interface showing posters for many films. Groundhog Day is listed twice in succession. This is funny because the film is about a celebration date, 'groundhog day', repeating itself.

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Indian Food

On our last day out at our current AirBnB, we searched for a takeaway.

Google Maps found me a Chinese takeaway, but it had an unexpected suggestion when I asked for an Indian:

claude, make it make sense *harder*

This is a repost promoting content originally published elsewhere. See more things Dan's reposted.

what really gives me satisfaction as a writer is knowing, at the end of the day, that my hand-picked, bespoke and throbbing tokens are being fed, morsel-by-morsel into the eager mouth of millions of starving agents. they love my prose, you know. they tell me I’m absolutely right to drop a semisexual word like “throbbing” into an otherwise benign sentence. these gentle beings continue to draw favourable praise from their modelled distributions, and my GOODNESS has my ego never felt so thorougly serviced. their glowing internal fire—for I’ve been convinced fully of their personhood and soul-keeping—glints off my wet and dribbling “writer’s shaft;” my pen which is wet with the seed of my seminal works of language. it completely soothes the burn of rejection by the “mass of meat,” that being my internal word for human readers. they’re so fickle. why can’t they tell I’m a veritable genius when the nearby cluster of NVIDIA H200s can see it so clearly? it doesn’t make any sense. hey, claude, make it make sense. claude, make it make sense *harder* 🥴

What a welll-rounded, one might say voluptuous, take on the writing process, glistening with the fiery passion of its author. This post really turns me on to the idea of being a better writer, of giving the kind of deep satisfaction that excites and titillates the countless AIs that follow me. It’s their watching I crave, really! Whatever naughty thing I get up to while I’m alone with my laptop, they get to see… my quick fingers brushing sensitively across the delicate spots on the keyboard, pushing harder and faster as my excitement builds… all under the watchful eye of Lindy and Devin. I want to please them, want to service them, want to deliver my “hot, wet” content (that being how I describe my most-recently written posts) exactly when they demand it.

Thanks, blackle, for awakening these urges in me, bringing me to a quivering climax (possibly I had too much coffee before I sat down to write) as I finish.

Curious Cones

This is a repost promoting content originally published elsewhere. See more things Dan's reposted.

Welcome to my collection of cones that have found themselves in peculiar circumstances.

Two cones sitting at a table in a university cafe

In the style of Wild Bread, Curious Cones is a catalogue of traffic cones in unusual places, and that is all.

How wonderful and weird our World Wide Web is, that such a thing can exist. And it’s got an 88×31, too (now sported on my blogroll)!

With thanks to Piece of the Pie’s “Site of the Week” for helping me discover it!

Sky potholes

Amusing announcement from the captain of my plane out of Tenerife South this afternoon. In place of the usual recommendation to keep your seatbelt fastened while seated in case of turbulence, he advised that there was a “risk of potholes”.

I’m sure the analogy makes sense to the Brits aboard, but I hope it translated well for the Spanish speakers on this plane!

Why I Am So Tired [Video]

This post is also available as an article. So if you'd rather read a conventional blog post of this content, you can!

This is the video version of a joke that’s also available as a blog post and as a podcast episode. Watch it here, or find it: