Stop… Think… Listen…

What the fuck.

People are stressed. People are angry. People are being complete bastards to one another.

Well, shit… worse things honestly do happen at sea.

I feel sorry for everybody who’s on the recieving end of any of this glasspaper-buggery-of-the-mind; and I’ve heard more than enough already to get a pretty clear picture. And the thing I can tell you all is that rash decisions won’t help anybody. Pull yourselves together. Chin up. I’m here if you need me.

That is all.

Fire On The Beach

This is what makes Aber great: that somebody can suggest a fire and a couple of hours later there are over a dozen people huddled round a pile of wood, separating burgers.

Claire, Dan, and Jimmy

We had some difficulty getting the fire lit to begin with – perhaps something to do with the fact that it had been snowing for most of the afternoon – but eventually (with enough blowing on the part of Peter and I) we had a wonderful little blaze going. Three disposable barbecues gave us enough food to satisfy everybody, and we all sat out as the evening wore on, drinking beer and joking about whatever came to mind. A lot of the conversation seemed to be about the absence of Iggy, everybody’s favourite ‘bot. Jon and Hayley brought a bottle of champagne, and we celebrated the charges of fraud against Paul being dropped. And we huddled, as a group, closer to the embers as they burned out, stopping now and then to steal more wood from a nearby building site to fuel it a little longer.

Andy and Faye are tied up by Ruth; they raise no objections.

Temperatures were low; spirits were high: it was a shame not to see folks like Andy, Sian and Liz there, but it was nice to see folks like Peter and Jimmy, who are usually a little more challenging to extract out on these crazy ventures. And those of us that survived the experience retired to The Flat to play Chez Geek and Fluxx past midnight.

The fire burns.

That’s why Aber’s great. And that’s why I’m glad I’m here.

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Table For Sale

The photograph, above, appeared on an eBay auction: the item for sale was the table and chairs – a full dining set (not including the things on the table, of course). However, there’s something about the photo that suggests that the seller is a man. Can you tell what it is?

Don’t read the comments until you think you’ve got it, in case somebody’s already posted the answer.

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Star Wars: Episode III Pictures

Geekiness ahead. Some folks have been posting stills from the upcoming Star Wars film, Episode 3, to the web. Most of the mirrors are getting shot down by too-much traffic, but I’ve managed to get the pictures and they’re hosted here (in a way that only my friends will be able to access). About 80 pictures from the film, in order, med/high-res.

To see the pictures, you’ll need to go to this password page and enter the surname of my girlfriend or the name of the changing-rules card game we play at Geek Night as the password. Warning: they’re spoiler-heavy; if you don’t know the plot outline already, you might be better off not seeing them. Enjoy.

Igneous bMotion

I’ve set up a chatbot called Igneous on the RockMonkey ChatRoom. I installed bMotion 0.09: emotions for bots, and some conversation topics (based on the RockMonkey site itself)… and it’s coming up with some classic lines. I lifted this exchange between Sian and Igneous from the log:

<chocorifi> Are you accusing me of sexual harassment Iggy?
<Igneous> only because my toaster ran off
<chocorifi> wtf?
<Igneous> what?
<chocorifi> why did your toaster run off Iggy?
<Igneous> entropy
<chocorifi> i don’t even know what that means, waa
<chocorifi> what does entropy mean iggy?
<Igneous> cycling

It’s good to see that it learns, though. Say anything enough times and it will take it as fact. For example:

<DanHuntle> iggy, what is Bryn_S?
<Igneous> a ginger welshman i guess

More quotes on the RockMonkey ChatRoomQuotes page.

Photopia

Ever played a text-based adventure (interactive fiction) before? If so, this is a must-see. If not, now’s the time to start. I’ve just finished playing a short IF called Photopia, which won two prestigious (in IF circles) XYZZYnews awards back in 1998.

It’s not… great as an adventure game, but it’s amazing as a story. It’s… so amazingly clever and well thought-out. If you’re an experienced text-adventurer, you’ll be able to see it all in under an hour (and there is, of course, a SAVE and LOAD function). Wow. Just… just go play it. Go on.

Two good ways to get it:

  • Option 1: Download photo201.zip, packaged for Windows – download, extract to a folder, run the batch file (“play_the_game”, or something) – do this if you’re not experienced with setting up your IF enviroment.
  • Option 2: Get Photopia 2.01 (Glulx Edition) and a Glulx interpreter for your favourite operating system. You’ll work out the rest.

A Weekend Of Lockpicking

Following up the arrival of my new lockpicks, I’ve spent the weekend picking pretty much every lock I’ve come across (and helping to teach JTA and Bryn how to do it for themselves). The result: six of nine attempted locks picked, feeling significantly more well-practiced, and very, very sore fingers. I need to get some rubber sleeves or something for these picks, ‘cos holding them for several hours in a day actually begins to bruise.

In other good news, I’m aware that there’s a planned RockMonkey social in which RockMonkey people will go out for drinks and take photos of the various locations featured in TromaNightAdventure. Sounds like a giggle to me, if ever I heard one.

I Can Still Do It

My new lockpick set arrived today. I haven’t played with picks in years and years, and so, when I started clumsily fooling around inside a chunky padlock that Claire found behind some furniture yesterday, it felt like I was about to have another half-hour of footing around before I could even count the number of pins it had. And then it all came back. 30 seconds later, the lock was open.

Nothing to all of you guys, but it elated me for a moment to find that lockpicking, too, is just like riding a bicycle.

The Revenge Of Zanatoth

The Revenge Of Zanatoth is a new WikiGame on the RockMonkey wiki. And for those of you who remember me publicising TromaNightAdventure, my first adventure-based WikiGame… well: The Revenge Of Zanatoth kicks it’s arse. It’s a wonderful little (heh) WikiGame that sends you on a quest to save Peter Hain from Zanatoth. During your travels, you’ll imitate oral sex in a gay bar, try to knit with goat’s wool, swap random items for all kinds of crap (hmm… very “Union Roof Scene” from TromaNightAdventure, there…) with Paul, buy beer from pet shop owners, eat fig rolls… the list goes on.

It’s an epic quest from the fevered imagination of Andy R. Go play it (you’ll need a [free] RockMonkey account – register here).

Strokey Adam

As Andy reported, we spent the evening with Adam (from Daventry… the planet Daventry…) last night. What Andy didn’t mention were the photos

For the benefit of everybody-but-Strokey (who won’t be able to see them until he gets back), here they are (click for larger versions):

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Paul – Prepare To Drool

Back in 1979, Atari came up with a design for a next-generation console called the “Cosmos” (you’ll find it on this list of handheld games consoles. This remarkable device, planned for release in the early 80’s, would have used holographic games in order to give an illusion of 3D, all in a hand-held unit.

In any case; only five prototypes were ever built (and only two of those ever had their electronics put in)… but one of “the three” has come up for sale on eBay on Buy It Now. I kid you not. Price is just short of £10,000. Don’t you just want one?

80’s Estonian TV Commercial

  1. Have a spare pair of underpants ready. Do not be eating anything.
  2. Be sure that you are not under the influence of any hallucinogens. Put that pint down, too.
  3. Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you are in a safe place, and you can turn off your computer at any time.
  4. Watch this 80’s Estonian TV ad (about 5.3MB). I think it’s supposed to be shot from the perspective of a chicken on a bad LSD trip.

There Goes Your Data Now…

Database copy progress dialog with an animation of an arrow getting mangled by some cogs.

Is it just me, or does this dialog box, which appears when using a particular part of Microsoft SQL Server 2000, present a very bad metaphor? One that says, “this arrow represents your data, and here it is being minced by some cogs”. Or maybe it’s just me that thinks that, and winces a little every time another animated grey arrow goes through the mangle.

Just a thought.

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Firefox Finally Appeals

As you may all know, I’m a die-hard supporter of the Opera web browser, despite many of my friends now claiming that Firefox is superior. I’ve been following the Mozilla project for a long while (haven’t we all), and on the many occasions I’ve tried Firefox (and it’s grandparents) I’ve always been unimpressed. It’s always been the little things that Opera did that kept me coming back to it, time and time again.

With the full release of Firefox 1.0 (download Firefox here), there’s been an explosion in the number of Firefox extensions that have become available, so I decided to try to find a combination of extensions that would at long last give Firefox the capabilities that always kept me coming back to Opera. The theory is – if I can find enough extensions to give me the functionality I need in a web browser (which Opera very-nearly perfectly provides) in Firefox, it’ll make a convert out of me. Here goes –

    • Mouse Gestures 1.0 – One of the great things about Opera is that it really pioneered mouse gestures (waving your cursor in strange patterns in order to facilitate shortcuts), and led the way for years thereafter. Mouse gestures are infectious – once you’ve used them and you get the hang of “doing things faster” (particularly mouse-intensive activities like web browsing), you end up trying to do it elsewhere – I’ve frequently used friends computers (with Internet Exploder, or similar) and tried to do a gesture before remembering that I can’t.The Mouse Gestures extension for Firefox is fully-featured and highly-configurable. I found the original settings a little unresponsive, and had to increase the “diagonal tolerance” (slippage permitted in a non-cardinal direction) to bring it back in line with the speed at which I execute gestures, and of course I’ve customised some of my own gestures. Apart from that, it’s wonderful.

Firefox Downloads Window In Sidebar

    • Download Manager Tweak 0.6.3 – One thing I loved about my customised Opera configuration was that pretty much everything not directly related to browsing – my RSS-feed subscriptions (that let me keep an eye on all my friends’ weblogs in realtime), my downloads, etc. – were set up to all appear in the wonderful “sidebar”: a non-invasive way of keeping information “to hand”. Firefox’s download windows are chunky and ugly, only a little better than the hideous ones provided by Internet Exploder. This plugin allows you to move the download window to the sidebar – a far more sensible place for it – and manage all your transfers from there.
    • Web Developer 0.8 and Nuke Anything 0.2 – As a web developer, I love the web developer tools in Opera. The ability to switch stylesheets, emulate other browsers, change and test content on the fly, and manipulate cookies is invaluable when debugging large, complex web projects. Combining these two excellent extensions gives me all of this, and more. The Web Developer tools can do things like manipulate form data on the fly, edit offline HTML and CSS on-the-fly, simulate different screen resolutions, and validate source code – it’s fantastic. Nuke Anything allows content to be ‘removed’ from the page: a great way of digging through complicated source code to find how a particular trick is being achieved.

Sage Extension For Firefox

  • Sage 1.3 – Now here’s a stunning piece of software. Thanks to Jon for suggesting this one.A great feature of Opera is it’s use as an RSS reader. RSS is a wonderful way to “subscribe” to news sources, weblogs, and the like, and be notified when they’re updated or even have the new content delivered directly to your desktop. It’s so good, that I rarely use Abnib or my friends page any more. Opera makes it easy to set up and manage your subscriptions, and delivers them in the way that suits you best.Now Firefox does natively support syndication, but it doesn’t do a very good job of it. It’s system – “Active Bookmarks”, relies on use of it’s bookmarks list, lots of scrolling, etc. Plus – and here’s the big problem – it doesn’t pass your browser cookies when picking up the feeds – this means that you can’t have it, for example, pick up restricted “friends only” feeds from your friends’ weblogs. Without this feature, there was no way I’d be leaving Opera behind.But Sage pulls it off. It pulls in the feeds and presents them in a brilliant way. It’s default options are a little weird, and it doesn’t support automatic “timed” feed collection, but it still does a great job of this newsfeed lark. I think everybody with Firefox should install Sage.
  • Session Saver – Simply put, this allows Firefox to remember what tabs you had open when it was last closed (even if it crashed or there was a power cut), and re-open them when you run it again, in a very Opera-esque way.
  • MiniT 0.4 – A pet annoyance, but one that would have really annoyed me, is the inability to re-order the tabs while using Firefox’s tabbed browsing. I mean: why wasn’t this included with the program? Most other programs that use the dynamic “document” tab metaphor allow the user to click-drag-reorder them, including my beloved Opera. But no, you need a plug-in like MiniT to do this. It’s good: not as “fluid” as Opera, but quite satisfactory.
  • TabBrowser Preferences 1.1.1 – It didn’t take long of playing with Firefox, particularly on the EasyNews web site, to find another thing which, to me, is a big problem. When people (very rudely) make hyperlinks that request to be opened in “a new window”, Firefox does exactly that: opens them in a new window, rather than in a new tab in the current window (fitting with the tabbed browsing metaphor). I tried a couple of plug-ins to prevent this from happening, but none of them worked consistently (for example, catching JavaScript pop-up windows and tabbing them, for example), as Opera does, until I found this lovely little extension. TabBrowser Preferences has all kind of options I don’t use, but for this one, which I do, it’s wonderful.
  • LastTab 1.1 – By this point, I had very few quirks left unsatisfied on my “web browser wish list”. One was that, in Opera, pressing CTRL-TAB takes you first to your most-recently used other tab, and then (if you keep pressing tab) through the others you have open. This makes sense to me, because you can then use CTRL-TAB as a two-tab “flicker” (like the “last channel” button on a TV remote): perfect for use as a “boss key” (if you don’t know, you don’t need to know). Satisfied.

This only leave one “big” niggle that still pisses me off – I can’t find a plug-in that will allow me to hold down a particular key (e.g. shift) and click on a tab, to close it (really useful for closing multiple tabs at once, after running and completing a multi-tab information seek). If anybody can suggest an extension that does this, let me know!

So; I guess I’m a Firefox convert. I knew it would happen someday, but I’m just surprised it happened so soon.