How Not to use A Pizza Oven

Clearly those closest to me know me well, because for my birthday today I received a beautiful (portable: it packs into a bag!) wood-fired pizza oven, which I immediately assembled, test-fired, cleaned, and prepped with the intention of feeding everybody some homemade pizza using some of Robin‘s fabulous bread dough, this evening.

Ooni Fyra portable wood-fired pizza oven.

Fuelled up with wood pellets the oven was a doddle to light and bring up to temperature. It’s got a solid stone slab in the base which looked like it’d quickly become ideal for some fast-cooked, thin-based pizzas. I was feeling good about the whole thing.

But then it all began to go wrong.

Animated GIF showing the fire blazing as seen through the viewing window on the front of the oven.
The confined space quickly heats up to a massive 400-500ºC.

If you’re going to slip pizzas onto hot stone – especially using a light, rich dough like this one – you really need a wooden peel. I own a wooden peel… somewhere: I haven’t seen it since I moved house last summer. I tried my aluminium peel, but it was too sticky, even with a dusting of semolina or a light layer of oil. This wasn’t going to work.

I’ve got some stone slabs I use for cooking fresh pizza in a conventional oven, so I figured I’d just preheat them, assemble pizzas directly on them, and shunt the slabs in. Easy as (pizza) pie, right?

Pizza on fire in oven.
Within 60 seconds the pizza was cooked and, in its elevated position atop a second layer of stone, the crust began to burn. The only-mildy-charred bits were delicious, though.

This oven is hot. Seriously hot. Hot enough to cook the pizza while I turned my back to assemble the next one, sure. But also hot enough to crack apart my old pizza stone. Right down the middle. It normally never goes hotter than the 240ºC of my regular kitchen oven, but I figured that it’d cope with a hotter oven. Apparently not.

So I changed plan. I pulled out some old round metal trays and assembled the next pizza on one of those. I slid it into the oven and it began to cook: brilliant! But no sooner had I turned my back than… the non-stick coating on the tray caught fire! I didn’t even know that was a thing that could happen.

Flames flickering at the back of a pizza oven.
Hello fire. I failed to respect you sufficiently when I started cooking. I’ve learned my lesson now.

Those first two pizzas may have each cost me a piece of cookware, but they tasted absolutely brilliant. Slightly coarse, thick, yeasty dough, crisped up nicely and with a hint of woodsmoke.

But I’m not sure that the experience was worth destroying a stone slab and the coating of a metal tray, so I’ll be waiting until I’ve found (or replaced) my wooden peel before I tangle with this wonderful beast again. Lesson learned.

Story Time

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First frame of "Story Time" comic from Channelate. An old man sits in an armchair and talks to two small children sitting on the floor in front of him. The old man says "I ever tel you squirts about the year 2020?"

When this comic (go read the full thing) came out at the tail end of last year, I thought to myself: yeah, that’s about right. I’m resharing that on my birthday in a week or so.

‘Cos I’m forty today, and I sort of had a half-baked dream that I’d throw some kind of big party and get people together. My surprise party for my thirtieth birthday party was an excellent (and much-needed) bash, and I guess I’d thought I’d try to replicate the feel of that, but a decade on (and not a surprise party… although in the end the last one wasn’t either).

But 2020’s the year that keeps on giving, so I’m postponing my party plans to… “some other time”. And so this comic really spoke to me.

Having Kids In Our Poly Triad by Sara Valta

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Having Kids In Our Poly Triad by Sara Valta title showing picture of two men and a woman hugging the outline of a baby

Sara’s back! You might remember a couple of years ago she’d shared with us a comic on her first year in a polyamory! We’re happy to have her back with a slice of life and a frank n’ real conversation about having kids in her Poly Triad relationship.

This sort of wholesome loving chat is just the thing we need for the start of 2021.

Start your year with a delightful comic about the author negotiating possible future children in a queer polyamorous triad, published via Oh Joy Sex Toy. Sara previously published a great polyamory-themed comic via OJST too, which is also worth a look.

The Fourth Way to Inject CSS

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Last week, Jeremy Keith wrote an excellent summary of the three ways to inject CSS into a web document. In short, he said:

There are three ways—that I know of—to associate styles with markup.

External CSS

<link rel="stylesheet" href="/path/to/styles.css">

Embedded CSS

<style>element { property: value; }</style>

Inline CSS

<element style="property: value"></element>

While talking about external CSS, he hinted at what I consider to be a distinct fourth way with its own unique use cases:; using the Link: HTTP header. I’d like to share with you how it works and why I think it needs to be kept in people’s minds, even if it’s not suitable for widespread deployment today.

Injecting CSS using the Link: HTTP Header

Every one of Jeremy’s suggestions involve adding markup to the HTML document itself. Which makes sense; you almost always want to associate styles with a document regardless of the location it’s stored or the medium over which it’s transmitted. The most popular approach to adding CSS to a page uses the <link> HTML element, but did you know… the <link> element has a semantically-equivalent HTTP header, Link:.

Bash shell running the command "curl -i". The response includes a HTTP Link: header referencing a CSS stylesheet; this is highlighted.
The only active example I’ve been able to find are test pages like Jens Oliver Meiert’s (pictured), Louis Lazaris’s , and Anne van Kesteren’s, but it’s possible that others are hiding elsewhere on the Web.

According to the specifications, the following HTTP responses are equivalent in terms of the CSS that would be loaded and applied to the document:

Traditional external CSS injection:

HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Content-Type: text/html; charset=UTF-8

<!doctype html>
    <title>My page</title>
    <link rel="stylesheet" href="/style/main.css">
    <h1>My page</h1>

Link: header CSS injection:

HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Content-Type: text/html; charset=UTF-8
Link: </style/main.css>; rel="stylesheet"

<!doctype html>
    <title>My page</title>
    <h1>My page</h1>
Diagram showing a web browser requesting a document from a web server, the web server finding the document and returning it after attaching HTTP headers.
A webserver adds headers when it serves a document anyway. Adding one more is no big deal.

Why is this important?

This isn’t something you should put on your website right now. This (21-year-old!) standard is still only really supported in Firefox and pre-Blink Opera, so you lose perhaps 95% of the Web (it could be argued that because CSS ought to be considered progressive enhancement, it’s tolerable so long as your HTML is properly-written).

If it were widely-supported, though, that would be a really good thing: HTTP headers beat meta/link tags for configurability, performance management, and separation of concerns. Need some specific examples? Sure: here’s what you could use HTTP stylesheet linking for:

Diagram showing a reverse proxy server modifying the headers set by an upstream web server in response to a request by a web browser.
You have no idea how many times in my career I’d have injected CSS Link: headers using a reverse proxy server the standard was universally-implemented. This technique would have made one of my final projects at the Bodleian so much easier…
  • Performance improvement using aggressively preloaded “top” stylesheets before the DOM parser even fires up.
  • Stylesheet injection by edge caches to provide regionalised/localised changes to brand identity.
  • Strong separation of content and design by hosting content and design elements in different systems.
  • Branding your staff intranet differently when it’s accessed from outside the network than inside it.
  • Rebranding proprietary services on your LAN without deep inspection, using reverse proxies.
  • Less-destructive user stylesheet injection by plugins etc. that doesn’t risk breaking icky on-page Javascript (e.g. theme switchers).
  • Browser detection? 😂 You could use this technique today to detect Firefox. But you absolutely shouldn’t; if you think you need browser detection in CSS, use this instead.

Unfortunately right now though, stylesheet Link: headers remain consigned to the bin of “cool stylesheet standards that we could probably use if it weren’t for fucking Google”; see also alternate stylesheets.

Downloading a YouTube Music Playlist for Offline Play

Now that Google Play Music has been replaced by YouTube Music, and inspired by the lampshading the RIAA did recently with youtube-dl, a friend asked me: “So does this mean I could download music from my Google Play Music/YouTube Music playlists?”

A Creative MuVo MP3 player (and FM radio), powered off, on a white surface.
My friend still uses a seriously retro digital music player, rather than his phone, to listen to music. It’s not a Walkman or a Minidisc player, I suppose, but it’s still pretty elderly. But it’s not one of these.

I’m not here to speak about the legality of retaining offline copies of music from streaming services. YouTube Music seems to permit you to do this using their app, but I’ll bet there’s something in their terms and conditions that specifically prohibits doing so any other way. Not least because Google’s arrangement with rights holders probably stipulates that they track how many times tracks are played, and using a different player (like my friend’s portable device) would throw that off.

But what I’m interested in is the feasibility. And in answering that question, in explaining how to work out that it’s feasible.

A "Your likes" playlist in the YouTube Music interface, with 10 songs showing.
The web interface to YouTube Music shows playlists of songs and streaming is just a click away.

Spoiler: I came up with an approach, and it looks like it works. My friend can fill up their Zune or whatever the hell it is with their tunes and bop away. But what I wanted to share with you was the underlying technique I used to develop this approach, because it involves skills that as a web developer I use most weeks. Hold on tight, you might learn something!

youtube-dl can download “playlists” already, but to download a personal playlist requires that you faff about with authentication and it’s a bit of a drag. Just extracting the relevant metadata from the page is probably faster, I figured: plus, it’s a valuable lesson in extracting data from web pages in general.

Here’s what I did:

Step 1. Load all the data

I noticed that YouTube Music playlists “lazy load”, and you have to scroll down to see everything. So I scrolled to the bottom of the page until I reached the end of the playlist: now everything was in the DOM, I could investigate it with my inspector.

Step 2. Find each track’s “row”

Using my browser’s debugger “inspect” tool, I found the highest unique-sounding element that seemed to represent each “row”/track. After a little investigation, it looked like a playlist always consists of a series of <ytmusic-responsive-list-item-renderer> elements wrapped in a <ytmusic-playlist-shelf-renderer>. I tested this by running document.querySelectorAll('ytmusic-playlist-shelf-renderer ytmusic-responsive-list-item-renderer') in my debug console and sure enough, it returned a number of elements equal to the length of the playlist, and hovering over each one in the debugger highlighted a different track in the list.

A browser debugger inspecting a "row" in a YouTube Music playlist. The selected row is "Baba Yeta" by Peter Hollens and Malukah, and has the element name "ytmusic-responsive-list-item-renderer" shown by the debugger.
The web application captured right-clicks, preventing the common right-click-then-inspect-element approach… so I just clicked the “pick an element” button in the debugger.

Step 3. Find the data for each track

I didn’t want to spend much time on this, so I looked for a quick and dirty solution: and there was one right in front of me. Looking at each track, I saw that it contained several <yt-formatted-string> elements (at different depths). The first corresponded to the title, the second to the artist, the third to the album title, and the fourth to the duration.

Better yet, the first contained an <a> element whose href was the URL of the piece of music. Extracting the URL and the text was as simple as a .querySelector('a').href on the first <yt-formatted-string> and a .innerText on the others, respectively, so I ran [...document.querySelectorAll('ytmusic-playlist-shelf-renderer ytmusic-responsive-list-item-renderer')].map(row=>row.querySelectorAll('yt-formatted-string')).map(track=>[track[0].querySelector('a').href, `${track[1].innerText} - ${track[0].innerText}`]) (note the use of [...*] to get an array) to check that I was able to get all the data I needed:

Debug console running on YouTube Music. The output shows an array of 256 items; items 200 through 212 are visible. Each item is an array containing a YouTube Music URL and a string showing the artist and track name separated by a hyphen.
Lots of URLs and the corresponding track names in my friend’s preferred format (me, I like to separate my music into folders by album, but I suppose I’ve got a music player with more than a floppy disk’s worth of space on it).

Step 4. Sanitise the data

We’re not quite good-to-go, because there’s some noise in the data. Sometimes the application’s renderer injects line feeds into the innerText (e.g. when escaping an ampersand). And of course some of these song titles aren’t suitable for use as filenames, if they’ve got e.g. question marks in them. Finally, where there are multiple spaces in a row it’d be good to coalesce them into one. I do some experiments and decide that .replace(/[\r\n]/g, '').replace(/[\\\/:><\*\?]/g, '-').replace(/\s{2,}/g, ' ') does a good job of cleaning up the song titles so they’re suitable for use as filenames.

I probably should have it fix quotes too, but I’ll leave that as an exercise for the reader.

Step 5. Produce youtube-dl commands

Okay: now we’re ready to combine all of that output into commands suitable for running at a terminal. After a quick dig through the documentation, I decide that we needed the following switches:

  • -x to download/extract audio only: it defaults to the highest quality format available, which seems reasomable
  • -o "the filename.%(ext)s" to specify the output filename but accept the format provided by the quality requirement (transcoding to your preferred format is a separate job not described here)
  • --no-playlist to ensure that youtube-dl doesn’t see that we’re coming from a playlist and try to download it all (we have our own requirements of each song’s filename)
  • --download-archive downloaded.txt to log what’s been downloaded already so successive runs don’t re-download and the script is “resumable”

The final resulting code, then, looks like this:

console.log([...document.querySelectorAll('ytmusic-playlist-shelf-renderer ytmusic-responsive-list-item-renderer')].map(row=>row.querySelectorAll('yt-formatted-string')).map(track=>[track[0].querySelector('a').href, `${track[1].innerText} - ${track[0].innerText}`.replace(/[\r\n]/g, '').replace(/[\\\/:><\*\?]/g, '-').replace(/\s{2,}/g, ' ')]).map(trackdata=>`youtube-dl -x "${trackdata[0]}" -o "${trackdata[1]}.%(ext)s" --no-playlist --download-archive downloaded.txt`).join("\n"));

Code running in a debugger and producing a list of youtube-dl commands to download a playlist full of music.
The output isn’t pretty, but it’s suitable for copy-pasting into a terminal or command prompt where it ought to download a whole lot of music for offline play.

This isn’t an approach that most people will ever need: part of the value of services like YouTube Music, Spotify and the like is that you pay a fixed fee to stream whatever you like, wherever you like, obviating the need for a large offline music collection. And people who want to maintain a traditional music collection offline are most-likely to want to do so while supporting the bands they care about, especially as (with DRM-free digital downloads commonplace) it’s never been easier to do so.

But for those minority of people who need to play music from their streaming services offline but don’t have or can’t use a device suitable for doing so on-the-go, this kind of approach works. (Although again: it’s probably not permitted, so be sure to read the rules before you use it in such a way!)

Step 6. Learn something

But more-importantly, the techniques of exploring and writing console Javascript demonstrated are really useful for extracting all kinds of data from web pages (data scraping), writing your own userscripts, and much more. If there’s one lesson to take from this blog post it’s not that you can steal music on the Internet (I’m pretty sure everybody who’s lived on this side of 1999 knows that by now), but that you can manipulate the web pages you see. Once you’re viewing it on your computer, a web page works for you: you don’t have to consume a page in the way that the author expected, and knowing how to extract the underlying information empowers you to choose for yourself a more-streamlined, more-personalised, more-powerful web.

New Blood Donation Rules Better, I Suppose

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So the NHS blood donation rules are changing again. And while they’re certainly getting closer, they’re still not quite hitting the bullseye yet.

That’s great. Prior to 2011 men who’d ever had sex with men, as well as women who’d had sex with such a man within the last 6 months, were banned from donating blood. That rule clearly spun out of the AIDS hysteria of the 1980s and generally entrenched homophobia. It probably did little to protect the recipients of blood, and certainly did a lot to increase the stigma experienced by non-straight men.

A shooting target with a great many holes.
You throw enough policies at a problem, eventually one will get close-enough, right?

The 2011 change permitted donation by men who’d previously had sex with men… so long as they hadn’t done so within the last year. Which opened the doors to donation by a lot of men: e.g. bisexual men who’d been in relationships exclusively with women, gay men who’d been celibate for a period, etc. It still wasn’t great, but it was a step in the right direction.

So when I saw that the rules were changing to better target only risky behaviours, rather than behaviours that are so broad-brush as to target identities, I was initially delighted. Evidence-based medicine, you say? For the win.

A nurse wearing gloves uses a hyperdermic needle to take a blood sample from a patients' arm, as seen from over the patient's shoulder.
Go on! Stick it in me! I’ll still be able to give blood, right?

But… it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. The new rules prohibit blood donation regardless of gender by people who’ve had sex with more than one person in the last three months.

Diagram showing a relationship between Andre and Brandon (married), and between Carlos and Brandon (partners). Andre and Carlos are now allowed to give blood, but Brandon still can't.
Sorry Brandon, we only want Andre and Carlos’ blood.

So if for example if there’s a V-shaped relationship consisting of three men, who only have sex within their thruple… two of them are now allowed to give blood but the third isn’t? (This isn’t a contrived example. I know such a thruple.)

Stranger still: if you swap Brandon in the diagram above for a woman then you get a polycule that’s a lot like mine, but the woman in the middle used to be allowed to give blood… and now can’t! My partner Ruth is in exactly the position: her situation hasn’t changed, but because she’s been in a long-term relationship with exactly two people she’s now not allowed to give blood. Wot?

On the whole, this rule change is an improvement. We’re getting closer to a perfect answer. But it’s amusing to see where the policy misses again and excludes donors who would otherwise be perfectly viable.

Update: as this is attracting a lot of attention I just wanted to remind people that the whole discussion is, of course, a lot more complicated than can be summarised in a single, short, opinionated blog post. Take a look at the FAIR steering group’s recommendations and compare to the government’s press release.

Update #2: justifying choice of words – “AIDS hysteria” refers specifically to the media (and to a lesser extent the policy) reactions to the (very real, very devastating) pandemic. For a while there it was perfectly normal to see (often misguided, sometimes homophobic) scaremongering news coverage suggesting that everybody was at enormous risk from HIV.

Banners Begone!

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It’s a clicker quest of purging banners from your homepage!

Push through dozens of banners and upgrade various web-tools to grow your ad-blocking power.
Hone your clicking skills – matters are in your own fingers hands!

There’s no time for idling, show these ads their place!

I quite enjoyed this progressive game: it’s a little bit different than most, the theming is fun, it lends itself to multiple strategies, and it’s not geared towards making you wait for longer and longer intervals (as is common in this genre): there’s always something you can be doing to get closer to your goal.

You’ll need a mouse with left and right buttons.


So I made a COVID conspiracy theory-themed lorem ipsum generator:

I blame my friend Bryn, who put the idea into my head while he was coming up with fake COVID conspiracy theories (I realise this sentence makes it sound like there are real COVID conspiracy theories) on a WhatsApp group we’re both in:

WhatsApp conversation: Bryn says that it's easy to come up with COVID conspiracy theories, Dan says somebody should make a Lorem Ipsum generator based on them.
This is about the minimum level of encouragement I need to do just about anything in tech.

It’s implemented using perchance, a platform for creating random text generators that I’ve been playing with – sometimes with the kids – lately. It’s really easy to use and provides a kind of instant-satisfaction that I think is important if you want to inspire the next generation of software engineers. This means, among other things, that you can clone, edit, and mashup my tool: perhaps you can make it better! Or perhaps you’ll use perchance to write some fiction, or poetry, or something else entirely. But regardless, I’d encourage you to have a play.

Mostly my generator comes up with meaningless gibberish, nonsense, and laughable claims. So it’s marginally more-trustworthy than your typical COVID conspiracy theorist.

Staying Sane with GEMSAW

I’ve been having a tough time these last few months. Thanks to COVID, I’m sure I’m not alone in that.

Times are strange, and even when you get a handle on how they’re strange they can still affect you: lockdown stress can quickly magnify anything else you’re already going through.

We’ve all come up with our own coping strategies; here’s part of mine.

JTA, Dan and Ruth shopping for a Christmas tree, wearing face masks
Only people who are highly-allergic to pine needles normally look like this when they’re shopping for a Christmas tree.

These last few months have occasionally seen me as emotionally low as… well, a particularly tough spell a decade ago. But this time around I’ve benefited from the self-awareness and experience to put some solid self-care into practice!

By way partly of self-accountability and partly of sharing what works for me, let me tell you about the silly mnemonic that reminds me what I need to keep track of as part of each day: GEMSAW! (With thanks to Amy Blankson for, among other things, the idea of this kind of acronym.)

Because it’s me, I’ve cited a few relevant academic sources for you in my summary, below:

  • Gratitude
    Taking the time to stop and acknowledge the good things in your life, however small, is associated with lower stress levels (Taylor, Lyubomirsky & Stein, 2017) to a degree that can’t just be explained by the placebo effect (Cregg & Cheavens, 2020).
    Frankly, the placebo effect would be fine, but it’s nice to have my practice of trying to intentionally recognise something good in each day validated by the science too!
  • Exercise
    I don’t even need a citation; I’m sure everybody knows that aerobic exercise is associated with reduced risk and severity of depression: the biggest problem comes from the fact that it’s an exceptionally hard thing to motivate yourself to do if you’re already struggling mentally!
    But it turns out you don’t need much to start to see the benefits (Josefsson, Lindwall & Archer, 2014): I try to do enough to elevate my heart rate each day, but that’s usually nothing more than elevating my desk to standing height, putting some headphones on, and dancing while I work!
Dan dancing at his desk (animated GIF)
Warming up. Things only get nuts when the bass drops, but I’ll spare you having to watch that.
  • Meditation/Mindfulness
    Understandably a bit fuzzier as a concept and tainted by being a “hip” concept. A short meditation break or mindfulness exercise might be verifiably therapeutic, but more (non-terrible) studies are needed (Vonderlin, Biermann, Bohus & Lyssenko 2020). For me, a 2-5 minute meditation break punctuates a day and feels like it contributes towards the goal of staying-sane-in-challenging-times, so it makes it into my wellbeing plan.
    Maybe it’s doing nothing. But I’m not losing much time over it so I’m not worried.
  • Sunlight
    During my 20s I gradually began to suffer more and more from “winter blues”. Nobody’s managed to make an argument for the underlying cause of seasonal affective disorder that hasn’t been equally-well debunked by some other study. Small-scale studies often justify light therapy (e.g. Lam, Levitan & Morehouse 2006) but it’s possibly no-more-effective than a placebo at scale (SBU 2007).
    Since my early 30s, I’ve always felt better to get myself 30 minutes of lightbox on winter mornings (I use one of these bad boys). I admit it’s possible that the benefits are just the result of tricking my brain into waking-up more promptly and therefore feeing like I’m being more-productive with my waking hours! But either way, getting some sunlight – whether natural or artificial – makes me feel better, so it makes it onto my daily self-care checklist.
Bright sunlight in an almost-cloudless blue sky.
10 minutes of overhead, unoccluded sunlight is the minimum therapeutic dose. That translates to about 30 minutes of winter sun at my latitude or 10,000 lux full-spectrum sunlamp.
  • Acts of kindness
    It’s probably not surprising that a person’s overall happiness correlates with their propensity for kindness (Lyubomirsky, King & Diener 2005). But what’s more interesting is that the causal link can be “gamed”. That is: a deliberate effort to engage in acts of kindness results in increased happiness (Buchanan & Bardi 2010)!
    Beneficial acts of kindness can be as little as taking the time to acknowledge somebody’s contribution or compliment somebody’s efforts. The amount of effort it takes is far less-important for happiness than the novelty of the experience, so the type of kindness you show needs to be mixed-up a bit to get the best out of it. But demonstrating kindness helps to make the world a better place for other humans, so it pays off even if you’re coming from a fully utilitarian perspective.
  • Writing
    I write a lot anyway, often right here, and that’s very-definitely for my own benefit first and foremost. But off the back of some valuable “writing therapy” (Baikie & Wilhelm 2005) I undertook earlier this year, I’ve been continuing with the simpler, lighter approach of trying to no more than three sentences about something that’s had an impact on me that day.
    As an approach, it doesn’t help everybody (Zachariae 2015), but writing a little about your day – not even about how you feel about it, just the facts will do (Koschwanez, Robinson, Beban, MacCormick, Hill, Windsor, Booth, Jüllig & Broadbent 2017; fuck me that’s a lot of co-authors) – helps to keep you content, and I’m loving it.

Despite the catchy acronym (Do I need to come up with a GEMSAW logo? I’m pretty sure real gemcutting is actually more of a grinding process…) and stack of references, I’m not actually writing a self-help book; it just sounds like I am.

I don’t claim to be an authority on anything beyond my own head, and I’m not very confident on that subject! I just wanted to share with you something that’s been working pretty well at keeping me sane for the last month or two, just in case it’s of any use to you. These are challenging times; do what you need to find the happiness you can, and hang in there.