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How the European heatwave fucked me up

CW: reference to bodily processes, broad discussion of illness

This year’s “once in a generation” weather

Last week was brutally hot across Europe, with multiple countries recording their hottest ever temperatures. Others including the UK repeatedly smashed their record for the month of June.

While climate change is a global problem, it affects different regions in different ways, and Europe is disproportionately affected by hotter temperatures and heatwaves.

The “Chicory House” we’re currently living in has terrible thermal characteristics, so we took the advice of wiser folks about staying cool. We created a “cold zone” in the living room with a portable air conditioner and for a few days I lived, worked, ate and slept mostly out of that one room (along with the children when they were trapped home because their schools had been shut down).

Out of my London window; dome and spires and chimneys, mist and smoke (1890), by Joseph Pennell. A serene watercolor captures a bridge spanning across what appears to be a wide river, with a city skyline barely visible in the misty background. Murky reflections waver beneath the bridge, suggesting either the early hours of morning or a dusky evening.
Among the reasons described for Europe’s faster warming than other parts of the world is that we’ve improved our air quality so much. Maybe we should’ve kept the smog?1

I thought our precautions would be sufficient, but I was wrong.

Heat exhaustion

After coming home from a shady morning dog walk on Friday2, I felt hot and grumpy, tired, and incredibly thirsty. I pushed on through my workday’s Friday hotfix, then retreated to my bedroom for a nap.

This was a mistake: my bedroom is somehow the hottest room in the Chicory House.

On Saturday I felt dreadful. It was as if some tiny monster had discovered a switch: one that they could use, randomly and without warning, to toggle me from being a warm blooded animal to a cold blooded one and back again, intermittently wrecking my capacity to regulate my temperature.

Here: I made a simulator3

A monster with horns and wings hovers by a switch labelled 'warm blooded' and 'cold blooded'. Right now it's set to 'cold blooded'.
The Dan Thermoregulation Switch™️. Go on, you can flip it if you want. (Unless you’re in a feed reader or have JS disabled.)

I’d feel overwhelmingly hot but barely sweat, or I’d suddenly switch to feeling cold and shivering. A cool bath helped, but only for a little while: between going to bed on Saturday night and getting up on Sunday morning there were more hours during which I took a shower4 than hours during which I slept.

Water that I drank seemed to just fall straight through without touching either sweat glands or my bladder. Or else it’d come right back out the way it went in. Attempting to eat solid foods would result in hours of horrible abdominal cramps.

Clearly, I was quite unwell.

Opportunistic infection

If you’re looking at all of those symptoms and you’re thinking “wait, could this be heatstroke-related organ damage?”… then yeah, that was one of my concerns. I mean: I’ve only once felt more-ill than I did on Sunday… and that was over a decade ago when I was hospitalised with an antibiotic-resistant kidney infection.

I can’t claim that I wasn’t influenced by growing reports of long heatwave-related waits at A&E departments. If I have to sit somewhere uncomfortable, feeling rotten, then it might as well be at home!

An orange, sliced into quarters, alongside a glass of slightly-opaque water.
By Monday afternoon I’d graduated out of a fluids-only diet to one that allowed mostly-water food. Like oranges, served here with an oral rehydration therapy drink (blech).

But also: on the balance of probability, I figured I knew what had happened. I’d suffered a moderately severe heat exhaustion that’d weakened my immune response to some kind of opportunistic bacterial gastroenteritis5.

When it reached Monday, the monster had stopped flicking the thermoregulation switch (did you set it the way you think it belongs, by the way?), but my digestive system still just seemed to be in its degraded state. That is: just an inflamed and painful tube through which I could pour fluids.

Conventional illustration of a digestive system alongside one labelled 'Dan's digestive system', showing a pipe leading from the 'input hole' to the 'output hole' with few corners, but structures labelled 'pipe (bidirectional)', 'filter #1 (rejects at random)', 'filter #2 (rejects most solids)', 'pain generator (function unknown)', and 'output hole (frequent schedule; less waiting!).
I’ve produced what I feel is a more-accurate illustration of the operation of my digestive system right now.
With thanks to weareheroes for the icons, used under a Creative Commons license.

So I finally caved and saw a doctor, who prodded and poked me and said… yup, my hunch was right and I should go back to lying in the cool and living on fluids and come bother him again only if it doesn’t get any better (or gets worse).

If you’d noticed that I’d been unusually “offline” for the last few days6… well, it’s because mostly I’ve been lying in bed and/or groaning in discomfort.

But I feel like I’m moving in the right direction again now, and I’m optimistic that when I try solid food again today that maybe I’ll be able to digest it. Fingers crossed!

Lessons learned

So what have we learned from all of this:

  1. Heat exhaustion is real, and it’s nasty, and it can leave you vulnerable to all kinds of other problems.
  2. (Even when my guts are in pain) I can trust my gut feeling on whether or not it’s a medical emergency7. Please disregard any Aber Effect comic which implies otherwise.
  3. You can probably be trusted with access the the Dan Thermoregulation Switch. You didn’t play with it at all!

Let me know below whether I was right to let you play with the switch. And look forward to hearing more from me now that I’m working towards feeling better again.

Footnotes

1 Obviously this is a joke, but the world we live in nowadays means that I feel that I have to say so.

2 It’s possible my heat exhaustion had begun to build up before Friday: Ruth observes that I reported feeling dizzy or lightheaded a couple of times during the week prior. But for the sake of the story, let’s call Friday the start of the problem.

3 If you can’t see the results of toggling the switch, it’s because I’m too far away from you to hear me groaning. Or maybe because it’s not that accurate a simulation. One of those.

4 Several times, literally lying foetal, exhausted, on the floor of the shower, only moving to tweak the dial to keep my body at the temperature I felt it “should” be at.

5 I’ve no idea how my relatively-isolated lifestyle exposed me to such an infection, but it’s quite possible that it was brought home by somebody, even me, whose immune system was working better and had it suppressed to the point of being asymptomatic… but with me exhausted and dehydrated it was able to gain a foothold. Or maybe it came from somewhere else. Perhaps I just need to stop French kissing the dog?

6 I was running a daily streak of 177 days of consecutive blogging – every day so far this year! – up until I got ill, so posting nothing to DanQ.me for four days… probably sounded like I was dead!

7 Sometimes it’s just bad sun tag-teaming with a bad stomach bug!

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A Litre of Coffee

Some mornings… you just gotta make a whole damn litre of coffee.

(for iced coffee purposes, of course; and definitely not just for me!)

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Hot Dog Mess

Demmy would like to know why I haven’t turned off the UK’s heatwave yet. 🥵

Close up of the face of a fawny French Bulldog with her tongue blepping out to the side.

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Iced coffee and air con

Iced coffee and air con. Possibly the only things that’ll keep me sane, working in the UK’s current heatwave (especially with the schools closed and kids sent home!).

Dan, a white man with a small beard and a blue ponytail, holds a pint if iced coffee on front of a residential portable air conditioner unit.

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What Was Matt Thinking?

This is a repost promoting content originally published elsewhere. See more things Dan's reposted.

Around 1995 or so, a high schooler named Matt Wright decided to launch a website that shared some basic website tools that he programmed. Many of these were dead-simple, things like contact forms, guestbooks, and web counters.

Screenshot of a 90s-style website titled 'Matt's Script Archive', providing a variety of Perl CGI scripts including a guestbook, counter, search, and random link generator.

OMG I remember Matt’s Script Archive. I taught myself Perl with (among other things) his scripts.

I took his Counter/ImageCounter script and adapted it into my own FireCounter, which stitched together (non-animated) GIFs of digits (which I made using a filter in Corel Photo-Paint, I think) into the kinds of edgy hit counter I was into, back in the day.

"Flaming" black-on-black digits 0-9.
This is a recreation. It probably looks better than the original!

Later, I even added parameter handling to allow the webmaster to specify a different set of digit images, and referrer detection so that it could track different sites: each got its own text file with its count in it! For a while, a dozen or so of my friends had my counter visible on their Geocities and Angelfire pages!

I’m sure that my script had many, if not more, of the kinds of security vulnerabilities discussed in the linked article. But man, it felt like magic at the time!

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F-Day plus 130

A hundred and thirty days since we got flooded out of our home, and remedial works are starting to ramp up. Today an electrician, tracing a fault that’s developed in the wiring, cut a hole through a wall to repair it and threw up so much dust that it’s hard to see anything!

A sparse room caked in a cloud of dust.

I was nearby, helping a restoration company assess the damage to the ride-on lawnmower that was in the garage and whose motor hasn’t started since (the garage saw some of the deepest water that hit us), when I heard the fire alarm and went to check on them. All is well: we don’t need to add ‘fire’ to the list of disasters befalling our house this year!

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Setting the width of selects to the width of the selected option

This is a repost promoting content originally published elsewhere. See more things Dan's reposted.

The field-sizing property is coming to Firefox 152, making it available across all major engines. It allows you to control the sizing behavior of elements with a default preferred size, such as form elements.

Sometimes a new CSS feature comes along and I immediately “get it”. Like: that’s a cool new feature, I can already see how it’ll save me time, or make things simpler, or improve accessibility, or allow me to do something new.

Other times, like this one, I initially shrug. What’s the point?, I think…

…and then later in the very same day find occasion to wish it was already mainstream. Hah!

Thanks for sharing, Manuel.

Dan Q found GC9P505 Paddington Bear & friends (Leicester Square)

This checkin to GC9P505 Paddington Bear & friends (Leicester Square) reflects a geocaching.com log entry. See more of Dan's cache logs.

A morning meander around the local (mostly virtual) caches under the guise of checking the condition of the West End Live queue, while the rest of my group enjoyed a lie-in, eventually brought me to take a seat alongside this iconic bear. TFTC!

Dan sits on a park bench in Leicester Square, alongside a bronze sculpture of Paddington Bear.

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Dan Q found GCBJ704 Seven Dials Sundial

This checkin to GCBJ704 Seven Dials Sundial reflects a geocaching.com log entry. See more of Dan's cache logs.

Approaching from the West I was foiled by the glare of the rising sun in my efforts to claim this fascinating monument from afar and eventually had to walk all the way past it to line up my photo!

Dan in front of a tall pillar in the morning sun.

Thanks for the detailed cache page; I love a history lesson when I’m on a morning walk! TFTC.

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Dan Q found GC38EQ3 Underground

This checkin to GC38EQ3 Underground reflects a geocaching.com log entry. See more of Dan's cache logs.

Initially thought I’d be able to find this one without the hint, but when I couldn’t get fix to closer than 8m I took a peep at it and was instantly aware of where to search. Soon the cache was in hand and I was back on my way. TFTC!

Dan Q found GC240NQ West End 1 – The Beatles

This checkin to GC240NQ West End 1 - The Beatles reflects a geocaching.com log entry. See more of Dan's cache logs.

Stood around for a bit reading about David Bowie while I waited for the waitstaff -on their pre-work fag break down the alleyway – stopped their muggling and went inside. Glad I came early while it was quiet here! TFTC.

Dan Q found GC5E4E Catastrophe, Calamity, Cataclysm Part 4

This checkin to GC5E4E Catastrophe, Calamity, Cataclysm Part 4 reflects a geocaching.com log entry. See more of Dan's cache logs.

Can’t do the physical today, but scooping a pic with the virtual during a morning walk around the neighbourhood.

Dan stands on a London street, gesturing to an old water pump (against which a man reclines).

Strictly speaking, I’ve come out to check on behalf of my family whether the queue for day two of West End Live has started gathering yet, but I couldn’t resist tagging a couple of caches on the way! TFTC (and to the adopter for keeping this one alive!).

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Dan Q found GCAJJCJ Piccadilly Circus (Virtual Reward 4.0) ツ

This checkin to GCAJJCJ Piccadilly Circus (Virtual Reward 4.0) ツ reflects a geocaching.com log entry. See more of Dan's cache logs.

After nine hours on my feet yesterday queuing for and then attending the first day of West End Live in Trafalgar Square, I somehow decided that the best thing for my poor legs would be to get up early while everybody else slept in, to come walk around and find a virtual or two. Right around the corner from my hotel, this was the first!

Dan stands in front of a scaffolded fountain at the iconic Piccadilly Circus.

There’s scaffolding around the fountain right now but you can still see it and, crucially, the lights. Good morning, London! TFTC.

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