If you’re a fan of Weebls’ Stuff (think Badger! Badger! Badger!), you’ve got to take a look at this. Can you guess how the fourth verse ends before it happens?
Tag: fun
Lottery Winners Counter
Did you know that 94% of lottery tickets get no balls, one ball, or two balls – and therefore don’t win a prize… the odds of getting three balls (1 in 57) [source: National Lottery: Prize Allocation] is less likely than the odds that recently-reported asteroid 2004-MN4 was going to hit us (widely reported as 1-in-37, now disproven: we will not be hit by 2004-MN4 in 2029)?
Yes; let’s face it – we all know these figures. But numbers like these aren’t a great way to reflect quite how hideously unlikely you are to win anything. So….
Recently, a colleague of mine showed me a little JavaScript application that counts real-time deaths from various causes. Basically, the author took statistics from the WHO about averages deaths by cause per year, and wrote this application to illustrate the death rates. Go watch it for awhile and then you’ll understand.
In any case; Claire suggested that a really good idea would be a similar application based on National Lottery statistics – one that showed the rate of ticket purchases versus the ‘win rate’ in a “live”, graphical, display. Of course, this model would make some assumptions – that tickets were bought evenly throughout the week (and not in a ‘rush’ on Saturday afternoons), for example, and that every ticket was pre-determined to be a ‘winner’ or not. In any case: she did the maths, and I wrote the code, and here it is
(if you’re viewing this page through Abnib this won’t appear as it should – view the calculator here)…
If you want to put this application on your own weblog, or your own web site, or wherever, the code to do so is:
<script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript" src="/q23-content/lottery.js"></script>
If your weblog is hosted with somebody else (e.g. LiveJournal) you might not be able to put scripts on your ‘blog. Just so you can’t say I didn’t warn you.
Impact – Certain!
I take it you’ve all heard about asteroid 2004-MN4, which NASA have been having a field day over, because recent estimates have said that it’s chance of impact with the earth (on Friday 13th April 2029) could be as high as 1-in-37 (2.7%)… well; I’ve just found a well-hidden page on NASA‘s Near Earth Object Program that makes an impact estimate that’s terrifyingly higher… see a scary estimate (the server’s a little unreliable, you may need to try to connect a few times)…
Also, why not play with Arizona State University‘s Impact Effects Calculator, which estimates the damage that would be done by an asteroid impact with the parameters you provide.
That was funny. Made you look, didn’t I?
Santa Hijacked By Elf Qaeda
This story just in: Santa’s sleigh has been hijacked by terrorists!
The Story Of Apple’s Graphing Calculator
There’s a fascinating story behind Apple’s “Graphing Calculator” application. Here’s an extract:
In August 1993, the project was canceled. A year of my work evaporated, my contract ended, and I was unemployed… …I was frustrated by all the wasted effort, so I decided to uncancel my small part of the project. I had been paid to do a job, and I wanted to finish it. My electronic badge still opened Apple’s doors, so I just kept showing up… …they asked, “Who do you report to? What group are you in? Why haven’t we seen this earlier?” I explained that I had been sneaking into the building and that the project didn’t exist. They laughed, until they realized I was serious.
Go read it. It’s a great story.
Which D&D Character Are You?
I Am A: Chaotic Neutral Elf Mage Druid
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral characters are unstable, and frequently insane. They believe in disorder first and foremost, and will thus strive for that disorder in
everything they do. This means that they will do whatever seems ‘fun’ or ‘novel’ at any given time.
Race: Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of
their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a
thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.
Primary Class: Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically
strong, their mental talents can make up for this.
Secondary Class: Druids are a special variety of Cleric who serves the Earth, and can call upon the power in the earth to accomplish their goals. They tend to be
somewhat fanatical about defending natural settings. (could equally be secondary class: Bard)
Deity: Azuth is the Lawful Neutral god of wizards and mages. He is also known as the High One, and is the Patron of Wizards. His followers believe that a systematic
approach to magic is the best, and they strive for calm and caution in order to avoid accidents. They wear shimmering robes, and are well-versed in magic, as well as typical priest
spells. Azuth’s symbol is a hand with a raised, glowing index finger.
I still loathe D&D.
Handwritten Clock
Here’s a damned cool clock (requires Flash).
TromaNightAdventure!
I’ve finished TromaNightAdventure, a WikiGame on RockMonkey. It’s at version 0.9, so far, because there’s still a few things I’d like to do with it (like add a “hints” page, for example!). But nonetheless, if you’re a Troma Night fan, you ought to go play it!
Forehead Protector?
Strangest thing I’ve seen all week.
Perhaps it’d help if I’d seen this Uzumaki thing… hmm…
Popularity Of The Welsh Language
<ROFLMAO>
Want a giggle? Go to Google and type “old dead language” into the search box (with or without the quotes… either way), and hit “I’m Feeling Lucky!”.
This is the follow-up to my experimental googlebomb the other week. I’ve had my fun, now, and I actually believe it’s possible (I was skeptical when I first read about it, but it turns out that Google really is that easy to manipulate) to pull off a googlebomb of this scale with my limited resources.
In other (equally geeky) news, I’m starting to have trouble with blogspam, and my usual keyword/IP/link-count filters aren’t catching it all… might need a reprogram.
Another Wonderful Dudley
Another fantastic Dudley’s Dungeon today. For NetHack fans only.
Smash My Phone
For $12.99, you can have a model smash your phone and publish the video to the internet for you to enjoy again and again. Fucking weird.
Tell Me About Your Heterosexuality
Rediscovered this online – some questions for the heterosexual:
- What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
- When and how did you first decide that you were a heterosexual?
- Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you will grow out of?
- Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of people of the same sex?
- Heterosexuals have histories of failure in gay relationships. Do you think that you may have turned to heterosexuality from fear of rejection?
- If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know that you wouldn’t prefer that?
- If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?
- To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies, what reaction did you get?
- Your heterosexuality doesn’t offend me as long as you leave me alone. But why do so many heterosexuals try to seduce others into that orientation?
- Most child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children (if you have any) to heterosexuals, especially heterosexual teachers?
- Why must heterosexuals be so blatant, making a public display of their heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
- Heterosexuals always align themselves such narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?
- How can you have a fully satisfying emotional experience with a person of the opposite sex when the obvious physical, biological, and temperamental differences are so vast? How can a man possible understand what pleases a woman sexually and vice versa?
- Heterosexual marriage has total social support, yet the divorce rate continues to spiral upwards. Why are there so few stable heterosexual relationships?
- Since there are so few happy heterosexuals, techniques have been developed to help people change. Have you tried aversion therapy?
- Could you trust a heterosexual therapist / councilor not to try to influence you towards their sexual leanings?
- Do heterosexuals hate or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?
- Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous; always having ‘affairs’ etc?
Made me smile.
Improved Viagra Available From Chemists
As of next week, an improved version of Viagra will be available – without prescription – from your local chemist. Just go up to the counter and request Mycoxafloppin. Satisfy your woman! Cure your errectile disorder! Make $$$ fast! No… wait.
SmartRacer
Yesterday lunchtime I finished writing a program that suddenly makes our working day that little bit more exciting – SmartRacer.
SmartRacer runs quietly in the system tray of as many users want to run it – currently Matt, Haagen, Gareth and me… but I’m trying to get Alex involved, too.
When you click on the system tray icon, the race begins! A couple of quick UDP broadcast packets are passed around the network, and everybody on the subnet who’s running the program is presented with racing-style “start lights”… 3… 2… 1… GO!
At this point, all participants will race – on their wheely-chairs – around the central ‘island’ of tables, in a clockwise direction, and attempt to be first to return to their own place and click the “Finish” button. Overtaking is rare – but permitted – and usually quite aggressive. As each player returns to their desk a “score” table is presented to everybody, with all participants times appearing in ‘minutes’ (heh), ‘seconds’, and ‘hundredths’.
Of course, players can choose not to participate in any particular race by clicking the “I’m Not Playing” button. The wimps.
You can download SmartRacer here, to play at your own workplace – SmartRacer.exe (64kb). It runs on Windows 98/ME/2000/XP/2003, and requires the Microsoft .NET Framework.