Tell Me About Your Heterosexuality

Rediscovered this online – some questions for the heterosexual:

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
2. When and how did you first decide that you were a heterosexual?
3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you will grow out of?
4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of people of the same sex?
5. Heterosexuals have histories of failure in gay relationships. Do you think that you may have turned to heterosexuality from fear of rejection?
6. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know that you wouldn’t prefer that?
7. If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?
8. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies, what reaction did you get?
9. Your heterosexuality doesn’t offend me as long as you leave me alone. But why do so many heterosexuals try to seduce others into that orientation?
10. Most child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children (if you have any) to heterosexuals, especially heterosexual teachers?
11. Why must heterosexuals be so blatant, making a public display of their heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
12. Heterosexuals always align themselves such narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?
13. How can you have a fully satisfying emotional experience with a person of the opposite sex when the obvious physical, biological, and temperamental differences are so vast? How can a man possible understand what pleases a woman sexually and vice versa?
14. Heterosexual marriage has total social support, yet the divorce rate continues to spiral upwards. Why are there so few stable heterosexual relationships?
15. Since there are so few happy heterosexuals, techniques have been developed to help people change. Have you tried aversion therapy?
16. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist / councilor not to try to influence you towards their sexual leanings?
17. Do heterosexuals hate or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?
18. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous; always having ‘affairs’ etc?

Made me smile.