fun – Page 13

Not-Gay Gareth

Not-Gay Gareth Is Back In Town!

By sheer coincidence, I bumped into not-gay Gareth, a friend of mine from my second year, who studied Film & TV while working as a projectionist at the Arts Centre cinema. It’s him who introduced me to both Troma and Studio Ghibli, and therefore him who’s (inadvertently) been a huge influence on the appearance of Troma Night – after all; without him, I may never have had that conversation with Paul that led to the decision to have Troma Night One.

So… I invited him along to this Saturday’s Troma Night.

Not-gay Gareth is also the guy “behind the camera” for Team CompSci’s “The Matrix”, the spoof that won Rory, John, Dom, Huw and I the “Best Presentation” award (and a nice cash prize) at the 2001 Student Skills Competition – a spectacular feat still talked about within Aber’s Department of Computer Science. With Claire, Paul and Ruth competing on behalf of Comp. Sci in the 2005 competition, I suddenly feel very old again. =o/

In other news, I’ve developed WikiBridgePuzzle on RockMonkey, a re-interpretation of a classic puzzle.

Catch ye all later!

Update – 12 October 2018: This blog post was also crossposted to the Troma Night website at the time, where I added:

As I’ve just recently mentioned on my blog, not-gay Gareth is back in town. This is relevant because it’s this guy – who I lived with in my second year – that gave me my initial interest in Troma and in Studio Ghibli. In fact; were it not for him, it’s unlikely that I’d ever have had the conversation with Paul that led to the creation of the very first Troma Night.

In any case, I’ve invited him along to an upcoming Troma Night. I’m sure you’ll all give him the welcome he deserves…

Dudley’s Dungeon

Another fantastic Dudley’s Dungeon (comic for Nethack-lovers) today.

I have lots to do.

WikiPlatformGame On RockMonkey

Inspired by Jon‘s WikiMaze on RockMonkey, the wiki-powered website that I helped Andy to set up, I’ve made WikiPlatformGame. Go have a play! And, if you don’t mind really bad humour, try the EvilWikiPlatformGame afterwards.

Good To Be In D.C.

The guys behind "This Land" have done it again – this time with "It’s Good To Be In D.C.". Requires Shockwave Flash – click here to watch!

The Onion’s “Election Day Guide”

The Onion have some tips for those who’s be voting next week, our friends on the other side of the pond. Worth reading.

The Mathematics Of Woman

Here’s a thought for you. We all know that women seem to take up a lot of time and money – in actual fact, having women is the product of time and money, which can be expressed thusly:

women = time x money

We also know, from the old adage, that “time is money”:

time = money

As a result, we can substitute money for time in our original premise, to give us:

women = money x money women = money²

And since “money is the root of all evil”, we can go on to state:

money = sqrt(evil)

This derives to:

money² = evil

By substituting money squared for evil, we can therefore conclude once and for all:

women = evil

Q.E.D.

Amused Me This Monday Morning

Two things of a religious nature that amused me this morning:

The Rapture Index – what happens if you take the models used to predict global stock exchange behaviour and apply them to biblical prophecy about “the last days”. It’s funny, right up until you realise that they’re absolutely serious. Pretty site, though.

How To Tell If Your Child Is A Goth (and therefore worshipping Satan and in great danger!) – hilariously bad, scary how the fundamentalist Christians find these things to blame for the world’s evils and to find Satan in. I particularly love the fact that you can tell that you have “strayed from the path of the Lord” by what breakfast cereal you eat. I originally lifted the entry from Faye‘s blog, but as she’s made it “friends only” I can’t link to it from here. Archived copy.

If Architects Had To Work Like Web Designers

This blog entry amused me today… it’s true that people don’t seem to treat web engineering as a discipline that requires any kind of planning or organisation. Jon knows what I’m talking about.

How Not To Go About A Programming Assignment

This is particularly for the attention of folks like Claire, Paul and Jon who are this year taking part in their second-year group projects: How Not To Go About A Programming Assignment. It’s a great guide to everything you should do on a project like this, particularly if you want to fail (folks like Ruth may gain something from it, too).

Today’s “Dudley’s Dungeon”

Today’s “Dudley’s Dungeon” comic strip is absolutely fantastic. If you’re a NetHack player, you oughta read it. If you’re not a NetHack player… <sighs>

Instructions On How To Clean Your Toilet

Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “power-wash and rinse”.
Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog

The Gender Genie

The Gender Genie is quite remarkable. Copy-paste a heap of your journal entries (and state that journal entries is what they are) and it will attempt to guess your gender, based on the language used (and partially explain it’s reasoning).

I’m apparently male, with a two-thirds certainty. Not bad.

Story I Heard This Morning

There’s nothing worse than a snotty doctor’s receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor’s office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?”

“There’s something wrong with my dick,” he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded office and say things like that.”

“Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,” he said.

The receptionist replied, “You’ve obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private.”

The man replied, “You shouldn’t ask people things in a room full of others, if the answer could embarrass anyone.”

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, “Yes? ”

“There’s something wrong with my ear,” he stated. The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.

“And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?”

“I can’t piss out of it,” the man replied.

Apathetic Journal Entry Generator

Generate apathetic journal entries automatically. This tool revolutionises blogging for those sad fucks who only uses their weblogs to say that they haven’t done much and that they haven’t had time to update, sorry (in case anybody’s reading it). I mean, really – do you actually have nothing to write about?

Primary School Permits “Conkers” Only With Protective Goggles

It’s a funny old world. A primary school in Carlisle is insisting that pupils wear industrial safety goggles while playing conkers, in order that they don’t end up with shards of horse chestnut in their eyes.