The Tampon Gun

The Tampon Gun

This picture’s been floating around the Internet lately. I’m sure that the guy in the picture thinks he’s original, but we totally beat him to it. Back in about 2003.

The Tampon Gun

The difference is, though, that when some friends and I were messing around with about a thousand applicator tampons that had reached their use-by date, we went one step further. We sellotaped laser pointers to the barrels of our guns, and had a laser-guided tampon battle in the car park.

It turns out that laser sights don’t actually improve the accuracy of tampon blowguns. As a weapon, they’re worse than useless,  of course – tampons have actually been used to save people from blood loss after a bullet wound. But still, it made for a more fun – if sillier – afternoon than would have been had by just throwing the damn things away, even if we did then have to spend quite a lot of time picking them all up and binning them anyway.

Dan Q is a software engineer, a director of a voluntary organisation, a trainee counsellor, a keen geocacher, and an amateur magician. He lives with his partner and her husband in a polyamorous triad, and occasionally finds time to blog.

6 Comments

  1. Katie 5 years ago

    How did you lay your hands on a thousand out of date tampons? Or that is that question best left unasked?

    • Scatman Dan 5 years ago

      Alongside condoms, pregnancy test kits, and personal attack alarms, Aberystwyth Nightline briefly gave away free tampons to anybody who came by asking for them. Which virtually nobody did, for many years. Eventually, a few other volunteers and I were tasked with disposing of the aging remainder. Soo…

  2. Dan's mum 5 years ago

    Tampons have a use-by date?

    • godzilla 5 years ago

      Wow mum, you are suck today.

    • Scatman Dan 5 years ago

      That’s scary, mum.

      Yes; after an extended period of time the plastic wrapping around tampons will gradually allow moisture in, introducing bacteria that will grow very well in that environment. Later, if these tampons are used, they can cause toxic shock syndrome, which can sometimes be fatal.

      The use-by date is usually several years away, and they’re probably safe for a while beyond that date too, but it’s not something you want to fuck around with. Still true that “leaving them in too long” is more-likely to be dangerous, but still worth looking at. Check those use-bys, chickadees!

  3. Adam Westwood 5 years ago

    As we’ve said many times before, Dan, you’re a man ahead of your time.