Funny picture. Just needs a caption.

Several emperor penguins standing around looking at a penguin plushie


The Scat Men

Don’t usually go in for these memes, but this one was too funny not to publish.

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The Scat Men Stats

Formed: 29th June 2005
Split: 10th September 2011
Best Album: ‘Supremo’ 7/10 in the NME
Best Single: ‘Unstates’ 6/10 in the NME
Records Sold: 169,413 in total (84,172 albums, 85,241 singles).
Reputation: Obscure
Groupies: vikingjim recently won a contract with a blue conglomerate to market dildos towards the over 60’s market.
Other After realising how shite ‘God Save the Queen’ really was, Queen Elizabeth II instated ‘Barge’ as the new national anthem. Another shit song for a shit country.

The Scat Men Member Profiles


bryn_s sounds like a delicate cross between a recently castrated chicken and Johnny Rotten.

Unable to pick strings individually, restlessboy had to resort to beating the shit out of all of the strings at once to contribute in any way to The Scat Men’s din. And even then…


It is fair to say that reaperkit is a stroppy old bastard. They’ve threatened to pack The Scat Men in after they received a death threat from the ghost of Mother Thersea who reportedly said in a whispered tone “I’m trying to rest in piece here yer prick! Cut with the bollocks before I smear yer pod in shite!”


scatmania’s manages to make an epileptic speed freak from Inverness look co-ordinated.


eskoala posesses the unique ability to detune pianos by simply looking at them.

Single Releases

# Title Date
39 Outgnaw Deflower Enfaces Lyingly Aug 2005
39 Risky Decimate Sep 2005
26 Unstates Oct 2005
31 Glamor Clutch Civilize Carotins Fallouts Dishfuls Nov 2005
31 Repoured Myeloma Usance May 2007
22 Stage Aroused Talcky Patch Blocked Jun 2007
30 Cilium Anurous Aug 2007
25 Sunups Tocsin Wooler Sep 2007
N/A Unawaked Firms Sep 2008
40 Parers Oct 2008
N/A Overlent Croceins Depicted Dec 2008
N/A Bocks Briskly Boras Rebuff Feminist Feb 2009
N/A Nauplii Mar 2010
N/A Turacos May 2010
N/A Crossed Abstract Showroom Khaddar Treks Jul 2010
N/A Barge Oct 2010

Album Releases

# Title Date
74 Supremo Jun 2005
33 Ceboids Mar 2007
27 Nibs Rooftree Jun 2008
N/A Enduring Unusual Wissed Chicle Subbings Dec 2009


Abnib Gallery

As you may be aware, Jon is developing the next generation of Abnib (preview – looks fab, eh?). To coincide (and integrate) with this, there’s now an Abnib Gallery, to which Abnib-ettes can post photos relating to the activities of themselves with other abnib-ettes: a place to collate our photographs of the fires we have on the beach, the things we get up to at Troma Night, etc. etc. I’ve put some of my pictures up there already: if you’re on the Abnib/Troma Night website and you want a login (so you can add photos, vote, leave comments, etc.), just drop me an e-mail or leave a comment and I’ll sort you out with access.

Fab storm last night: Claire and I went out in it to see the lighting from the prom, and got completely soaked.

Sewage Leak Update

I see that the council are still recommending that people don’t swim in the sea off Aberystwyth, with signs all along the promenade, after a pollution incident at the weekend, although they’ve allowed access to the beach again. I called the hotline number and determined that the sewage leak most likely occured at the pumping station near Rummers.

My suspicions were confirmed today when I took this photograph on my way to work:

A JCB digging near the sewage pump by the River Rheidol

Catch-Up: Back In Aber

Yeah; more catch-up stuff. Server was down, and I was lazy. Get over it.

Having returned from Preston/Manchester/Milton Keynes/London, this week has been spent back in Aberystwyth. Thursday’s Naruto Night had us in front of Future Boy Conan, an early Miyazaki cartoon series, among other things. Friday’s Geek Night saw us play two of the games I brought down from my trip to Preston: Man O’ War, a classic Games Workshop tabletop battle game, and Scotland Yard, an early-80’s deduction game which I’d always enjoyed as a kid. Ruth in particular seemed to enjoy disassembling the probability tree of the former, forming long mathematical chains of possible moves in her notes in order to catch “Mr. X”.

Saturday should have seen JTA, Ruth, Claire and I acquire a couple of rubber dinghies and ride the tide as it escaped down the River Rheidol and out to sea, but a major pollution incident (involving a ruptured sewage pipe near the river) put us off somewhat. Another time, then. Nonetheless, we had a good Troma Night, with the better-than-expected Ocean’s Twelve and the pretty awful Teenagers From Outer Space (which featured very few teenagers, none of which were from outer space). Hilareous watching, though.

Right; I feel caught-up, now. Time to get back to work on Troma Night Adventure 2

Catch-Up: Concerts

Yes, it’s true, I’m bad at blogging. But as we all know, weblogs suck anyway. Regardless: here’s the long-awaited catchup of my whereabouts and doings of the last week (as all I’d previously said is that I’d left and that I’d got back again.

Claire and I went to Preston a week last Thursday evening, for a busy weekend of travelling around and attending concerts on what turned out to be the hottest weekend of the year so far. At the Old Trafford Cricket Ground, Manchester, on Friday, we saw REM, who are absolutely stunning live, it turns out: on stage, they throw a lot more energy and a lot more emotion into what is (in recordings) quite quiet and sombre tracks. A wonderful concert, although we did get somewhat crushed when we were (at the start) within spitting distance of the bands, and so we had to retreat back before the end. Supporting them were Idlewild, who turned out to be brilliant, Feeder, who were very good, and The Zutons, who weren’t so good. Claire was more impressed by the latter, but I think that may just have been because she could look down on their saxophonist (not in height, of course, but in saxophone skill).

Then, on Saturday, we travelled down to Milton Keynes to see Green Day at the Milton Keynes Bowl. The bowl is, to all intents and purposes, a large grassy crater just outside of the city, in which they’d erected an enormous sound stage. Green Day were supported by a handful of pretty nondescript pseudo-rock bands, much of which we slept through with our t-shirts over our faces to help us breathe in the sticky air until the sun set. Green Day themselves were brilliant – aside from a slight problem with the video link (the difference between the speed of light and the speed of sound meant that by the time we could hear what they were singing we’d already seen them mouth it): they could have done with repeater projectors as well as the repeater speakers they had – a royally rockin’ gig. A good selection of stuff from their new album and older material, lots of crowd enthusiasm, a few bottle fights, all the stuff you expect from a nice, loud concert. We spent the night at a draconically-run travel lodge-like place a little way between Milton Keynes and London.

And on Sunday we went into London (well; if you’re going to travel 700 miles around the country anyway you might as well take a minor diversion if you pass a place of interest) to go to the National Science Museum, which was good as ever. Their new “Hitch-Hikers’ Guide To The Galaxy” exhibit wasn’t very impressive, but I don’t know what I expected from it, though.

The highlight of the trip has to be a conversation between Claire, my sister Becky, and I in the cafe at the Science Museum. It went thusly:

Dan: Claire doesn’t like carrot cake.
Becky: (to Claire) Have you ever tried carrot cake?
Claire nods
Becky: (to Claire) And did you like it?
Claire nods
Becky: (to Claire) So… do you like carrot cake?
Claire shakes head


O what a beautiful moooooorniiiiing…

This repost was published in hindsight, on 11 March 2019.

Ruth wrote:

So, after raining for both my days off, it’s now sunny again. I don’t mind though. Friday I got rained on, had lunch at MGs, got rained on some more, did laundry, went for a bike ride and got rained on. In the evening JTA and I went to geek night and got rained on, but it was fun. We played Man O’ War and Scotland Yard, a couple of games that Dan found. I discovered how to make Scotland Yard a lot harder for the ‘baddy’ by maths. mwa ha ha.

Saturday was going to be the day Dan, Claire, JTA and I went down the Rheidol in a little plastic boat as the tide went out, but somebody’s spilt raw sewage into the river and polluted the bay, so we didn’t do that after all. Instead, I came home and did some reading, drank some tea, generally loafed about. When I made supper there were pigeons in the kitchen, which was a bit weird but apparently it’s a hazard of living on the sea-front.

Troma night in the evening. It was quite a quiet one, initially just Dan, Claire, JTA and I, although we were later joined by Bryn and Jon and a frazzled looking Matt P. We watched Ocean’s 12, which was much better than I expected, and then Teenagers From Space, which was enjoyably awful.

And now I’m going to spend this beautiful day working… Meh.

Naruto Night II

Tonight at 8, if anybody’s interested. “Future Boy” and “Ghiblies” are on the cards, as is “Naruto” if either (a) Paul brings some, (b) Not-Gay Gareth brings some, or (c) I acquire some by then. See you later!

Claire’s Birthday, and Preston

Well, Claire and I are in Preston. We travelled up here last night (after a few false starts, including getting to Mach before realising we’d left the Green Day tickets blu-tacked to the wall “so we don’t forget them” in Aber and having to turn back). Claire’s been made out to be a bookworm again, with a heap of new reading material to keep her occupied for the coming year.

Visited my mum’s house. My sisters are typically hilarious. They’ve got a new chicken (after the last ones were eaten by foxes) + chicks, and a new guinea pig (called Pork Chop, which I think is a fantastic name for a guinea pig), and the puppies have grown up so it’s complete mayhem of the excitable 3-month-old doggy variety. They’d decorated a cake for Claire’s birthday, which read “Happy Birfday [sic] Mini Melton” and had an (anatomically correct) picture of her, with an arrow and the word “You” pointing to it.

This evening, we’re off to see Feeder and R.E.M. at the Old Trafford Cricket Ground, which’ll be fab, and then tomorrow, we’re travelling down to Milton Keynes to see Green Day (& friends), then we’ll spend Sunday in London before returning to Aber. This puts Troma Night in the hands of those of you still in Aber. Bryn has a key to the flat, and I’ve changed my password on Duality to something you’ll be able to guess: to determine it, look at the large yellow sign in the kitchen – there is a mis-spelling on it, and there is a number on it. Type the mis-spelled word (in lowercase) as it appears on the sign, followed by the number. If you have any trouble, text me. And if somebody could record/download the Dr. Who episode (as Claire and I will miss it), that’d be great.

I mentioned to my family that the computer game that’s occupied me most of late is Microsoft Train Simulator. My dad seemed pleased, but the rest of my family seem to want to award me an anorak. Once she’d checked to see that I wasn’t joking, the dialogue with Becky went as follows:

Bex: Microsoft Train Simulator?
Dan: Yup.
Bex: Trains?
Dan: Uh-huh.
Bex: So… what? You plan train routes, manage finances, that kind of thing…
Dan: No, it’s not like Transport Tycoon. You drive trains.
Bex: You… drive trains.
Dan: Yeah; you drive different kinds of trains along real-world routes to a schedule.
Bex: So… do you like; earn money and you can buy better trains? Or unlock secret areas?
Dan: No.
Bex: Wh… bu… <disapproving silence>

Well; I’m guessing she won’t be wanting a copy, then.