A New Look

I decided to apply a new look to my blog and to the rest of Scatmania. I’d had this one in the pipeline for ages, but I only just got around to putting the last tweaks onto it to put it live. There’s still a little bit to do, including some code optimisation and a few improvements to the graphics.

Crucially, though, the changes are in the backend: what now represents version 4.5 of the ScatEngine WordPress plugin is actually starting to become useful (it now integrates a few of my favourite antispam solutions and some other tools I use from time to time). Fun fun fun.

Here endeth the attention-seeking (and the test to see if my blog still correctly cross-posts to my LiveJournal…)

Wii Have A Problem

Found this website – Wii Have A Problem – which is a blog dedicated to problems that people have had with their new Nintendo Wii as a result of “the human factor” (what we’d call PEBKAC if it were a desktop device with a keyboard).
In any case, it’s funny: the most commonly-occuring problem people seem to be having with their Wii is that they or their drunken friends let go of the controller (or the strap breaks) sending it hurtling into something expensive and breaking it… like their TV screen.

Let that be a warning to you all for when Claire and I get our Wii next week.

You Can Get Anything On The Internet

I frequently find myself impressed with some of the more unusual things it’s possible to obtain on the internet. I was browsing the binaries newsgroups when I came across this gem of a self-help film:

Meeting Women Online PAR Files

A few interesting things about this film:

  • It’s called Meeting Women Online. I suppose that’s a valid topic for a self-help film, although I find myself wondering if there’s enough material in this topic to warrant an entire film, rather than – say – How To Meet Women or Making Friends… And More… Online.
  • It’s posted in the alt.binaries.seduction newsgroup.
  • And here’s the killer: this film comes on four DVDs. That’s right – count ’em – four. A little research online suggests that the main program (not the special features) is in itself over five hours long!

Just plain scary.

A little more research and I found the web site of David DeAngelo, who made the film: there’s a page to sign up for his online course in meeting women online… the page starts by promising the usual crap that you can get from any spam-ridden inbox: “how you can manipulate your online profile to inspire interest,” “how to be confident when it comes to talking on the phone,” and so on, but the thing that got my attention was the following line. It’s as much bullshit as these programmes always are, but it makes a promise I’ve not yet seen in my 12 years of net-surfing:

Inside you’ll learn… a “secret” email subject line that drives a woman crazy
with curiosity and gets her to open YOUR email
first.

What do you know: women’s heads are hard-wired so that a few key words in a subject line will get them to open it, no matter who it’s from or what the context in which they receive it. Dating be damned: if this were true then I would subscribe to the program. Why?

  • If I were a spammer, I would want to know the secret keywords I could use to have 50% of the population open my e-mails without even thinking twice.
  • And if I were not, I would want to know how to configure spam filters to protect those poor vulnerable women from the big bad spammers with the secret codewords that tripped the “common sense” switches in their brains.

In Praise Of Dreamhost’s Backup System

I’ve been impressed, again, by Dreamhost, who provide hosting for this and many of my other websites. During a fit of stupidity, I accidentally rm -rf *‘d Abnib Gallery. For those of a less techy nature, I deleted it: pictures and site and all. Whoopsie.

So I thought: perhaps they have a tape backup or something. I filled in their support form, which asks lots of useful questions like “How much do you know about this?”, with options ranging from “I don’t know anything, hold me by the hand,” to “TBH, I probably know more about this than you do!” and a nice scale of rating the urgency, as well as indicating how many calls they’re dealing with right now and a link to an outstanding issues page.

Within half an hour I’d been e-mailed back by a tech support person, who explained in exactly the appropriate level of detail that hourly and daily backups (with grandfather-father-son fallbacks) of everybody’s home directory are made into their hidden .snapshot directory. I took a peep, and lo and behold there was my backup. Very impressed.

Now, if only they’d improve the reliability and speed of their Rails hosting, I’d offer them a round of oral sex.

Coding, Drinking, And Burying: Hilarity Ensues

This weekend Gareth and Bryn came over and we set up a computer lab in Claire and I’s living room and spent most of the weekend hacking Ruby and Perl code (in between segments of munching coder snacks, drinking beer, watching films at Troma Night, and, last night, barbequing food on Ynyslas beach). We made some great progress on a project that we’ve all been working on that was otherwise at risk of stalling: not only progress in coding, but also in setting goals and deadlines and in discussing implementation strategies that I’m sure have made the next stage of the project a lot clearer for all of us.

Claire, Binky and I got to Ynyslas first last night and ate some fantastic lamb burgers. Later, as Gareth drove up and came to join us (I was stood atop a dune to get advance warning of his approach), Claire and I buried Binky against the side of a dune, covering his face with an overturned disposable barbeque box and stacking other provisions around him. Gareth didn’t have a clue that he was there: “Where’re Bryn and Jimmy?” he asked when he arrived. “They didn’t come,” I replied. We sat around and got chatting and drinking and, after a while, I asked Gareth if he could pass me my mobile phone. “Where is it?” he asked. “Under that box,” I said, gesturing towards where Binky was so-well buried.

The look on Gareth’s face was priceless when he lifted the box. Mucho respect to Binks for managing to stay undetected underground for so long (despite having eyes full of sand and other irratating side-effects of being buried alive).

This blog post was later featured in the On This Day series, in an article I wrote in 2010.

The Coolest “Learn A Programming Language” Tool. Ever.

Not only is it the coolest “hands on” tutorial to a programming language I’ve ever seen; it’s also (technologically) quite impressive as a web application, too. I’m talking about tryruby.hobix.com, a stunning tutorial in the Ruby programming language that’s simple enough for anybody to get started and doesn’t require you to install anything. Everything is done through your web browser into a virtual “irb” session.

If you’re a programmer with an interest in Ruby, or just a geek wannabe, it’s a must-see. Apologies if you’ve seen it before: I first saw it today.

How To Run Downloaded Stuff On Your Nintendo DS

14th July 2006: I’ve updated this article with some information on what could be an even easier and more cost-effective way to achieve this effect. Scroll down.
Here’s a guide to what you need to easily be able to run homebrew software like DSLinux on your Nintendo DS or DS Lite. Some things to know:

  • Yes, this could also be used to let you run pirated software too, but I can’t endorse that.
  • I’m fully aware that this isn’t the only way to run homebrew software on your DS, but this is the way I did it, and it works brilliantly for me. Your milage may vary.

You Will Need…

DS With M3 Picture One

I’d promised someone pictures showing exactly how big and chunky this kind of hardware is. Shown above is:

  • A red pen. You don’t need one of these, but I put one on the blurry photograph for a size-comparison.
  • A PassKey2 device like the one shown in the upper-right. Mine is branded “PassCard 3”. Older PassKeys required that you plugged a legitimately-bought game into their top port, but these new ones just plug straight into your Nintendo DS’s “DS” game port. It’s purpose is to make the DS think that a Nintendo-endorsed game is in the device, allowing it to run any code it feels like. Modern ones are needed for the later-version DS’s, including the DS Lite.
  • An M3 Perfect. This is the most recent incarnation of what was the GBA Movie Player. It’s a card reader (mine reads SD Cards, but there’s also a CF version available) that plugs into your DS’s chunky retro Game Boy Advance slot.
  • A flash memory card to put in your M3. Mine, of course, is an SD card. DSLinux weighs in at about 12MB, and games vary in size anywhere up to about 64MB. The more you can fit on your card, the better – particularly if you’re planning on carrying movies or music around with you and using your DS as a glorified MP3 or video player.

You will also need:

  • A PC running Windows. Use a virtual PC at your own risk.
  • The means to write whatever kind of flash card (e.g. SD card) you get, like a USB reader/writer. You might be able to get away with using your digital camera and some kind of link lead, but don’t count on it: a cheap SD reader/writer can be found for under a tenner.
  • The latest M3 Game Manager software.

You Will Do…
DS With M3 Picture Three

The PassCard goes into the DS slot, the flash card goes into the M3, and the M3 goes into the GBA slot, as shown in the picture, above. I’m using a DS Lite, and the M3 sticks out a little way, enough to be unsightly, but not problematic. The DS is upside-down, in case you’re confused. The small blue thing on the right of the M3 (at the top of the DS) is the tip of the SD card. Push gently against it to eject it.

Put the memory card into your PC’s reader, and run the M3 Game Manager software you installed. Select the media type you’re using, when prompted. Navigate to the memory card. Then just click the “Write NDS” button choose the Nintendo DS ROM you want to write. How many you can fit on at once depends on the capacity of the card. The M3 Perfect can handle CF cards up to 1GB and SD cards up to 2GB for the CF and SD varieties of M3, respectively.

DS With M3 Picture Two

Here’s how the DS Lite looks with the M3 Perfect cartridge dangling out of it. Apparently it protudes less on the DS Phat.

Update: 14th July 2006: There May Be An Easier Way…

A friend has just let me know about the NinjaPass. The plain old NinjaPass Media Launcher is just a PassKey2, by the look of things, but the NinjaPass DS Flash is both a PassKey2 (like the PassCard, above) and a flashable memory card (like the M3 Perfect and it’s accompanying memory card). It’s a single-card solution that you copy your ROMs to, put into the NDS slot on your DS Phat or DS Lite, and it just works.

Of course, I’ve not tried the NinjaPass for myself, so your milage may vary. Read some reviews first.

Fun With A Nintendo DS

This post starts very geeky, but becomes about computer games later on. Feel free to scroll down three paragraphs if you like computer games but don’t like computer hardware hacking.
My M3 Perfect and some related hardware arrived today. Basically, it’s a SD card reader that plugs into a Game Boy Advance slot (which are found on not only the Game Boy Advance series but also the Nintendo DS). By itself, it allows a Nintendo DS (or a DS Lite, as my new toy is) to play music, videos, etc. But combined with an Passcard (also arrived this morning), it allows backup games and homebrew software to be easily loaded onto the device.

Within minutes, I had DSLinux, a Linux distribution for the Nintendo DS, working. It felt immensely cool to be typing at a Bash shell using my DS stylus. I couldn’t get the wireless internet connection working, though – the drivers kept failing to load, which is probably either a result of (a) the DS Lite possibly having different firmware for interfacing with the network subsystem or (b) the M3 Perfect I got is the SD card edition, rather than the CF edition, which is better supported by DSLinux. I chose the SD card edition despite it being a few pounds more expensive because it’s slightly smaller (and therefore doesn’t stick out of the side of my handheld in such an unslightly way as the CF one would have) and because I can potentially fit more onto a SD card (although the only SD card I own is 1Gb, the same size as the largest CF card the M3 can take). In any case, both possibilities sound equally unlikely: further investigation will ensure.

The ultimate aim of this little project is to get a graphical VNC client for the DS (take a look at that screenshot!) running, or some other remote control, so I can take full control of my desktop PC, wirelessly, from, like, my bed. Or from the couch. Or from and wireless internet hotspot anywhere that somebody hasn’t secured properly. Toy.

But the other benefit of this little purchase is the ability to, how shall we say, “try before I buy” Nintendo DS games. I’ve spent quite some time today playing the stunning Trauma Center: Under The Knife. It hasn’t been since Half-Life 2 that I’ve played a computer game that genuinely made me jump with fright.

This isn’t Theme Hospital. This is Life and Death (for those of you too young to remember, this was a stunning late-80s  “Sim Surgeon”). Starting as a junior surgeon, you’ll remove benign tumours, treat laceration injuries, and laser off polyps. The whole things starts with a very “hold your hand” approach, but the learning curve is steep. Within 25 minutes of play you’ll be performing surgery within the chest cavity of car crash victims when something goes wrong (their heart stops, or their symptoms severely exacerbate, or it turns out there’s something more seriously wrong with them) and you’ve got nobody there to help you: you have to work alone.

It’s dark and cold and hard. Very hard. I struggled to keep up with the pace and had to re-attempt some of the levels (such as the brutal on early in the second chapter in which I had to remove aneurisms from the arteries of the intestines, and they just kept exploding on me, showering blood everywhere and destabilising the patient’s condition) several times. Nonetheless, I had great fun watching Claire replay those levels, on the edge of my seat whenever I knew something was about to go terribly wrong. Contrary to the image Nintendo sometimes convey: this is not a game for kids.
Another game I’ve enjoyed trying out is Mario & Luigi: Partners In Time, which plays a lot like Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, but with semi-independent simultaneous control over up to four (Mario, Luigi, Mario’s younger self, Luigi’s younger self) different characters. Yes, at the same time. Yes, that fucks with your head. Quite quickly.

Then there’s Super Princess Peach, a platform game in which Peach uses the power of mood swings (I kid you not – she fluctuates between singing, crying, and breathing fire, just like a real woman) in order to get her way. And Super Monkey Ball Touch & Roll, more stupid puzzle game fun…
It’s not all piracy (although at least a little bit ethically – we’ll buy legitimate copies of the good stuff, almost certainly including Trauma Center) of stuff I could have bought at my local Game: I’ve also had a great deal of fun with Electroplankton, for which a release outside of Japan is still promised, but sadly absent. Electroplankton is a software toy in the truest sense of the word. The player manipulates the movement of musical plankton in order to generate what can just about be described as music. I came home and hooked it up to the stereo and Claire and I had great fun for some time, playing with the different plankton and trying to discover how they all “worked”. And I’m also looking forward to giving some of the Naruto games (which’ll probably never be released outside of Japan) a go.

Computer Games And The Monetary Value Of Entertainment Time

How much does entertainment cost? Well, it depends on the medium. A recent interview with Bing Gordon (who has not only a crazy name but also a high ranking position with videogames company Electronic Arts) talks briefly at the end of the article about the comparative cost of different forms of entertainment, and tries to demonstrate that computer games are cheap if you factor in the amount of time they provide entertainment for.

The article’s not terribly interesting unless you’re an undergraduate student wondering how you can join the EA galley when you graduate, but it got me thinking about what we spend on entertainment. Here’s a few thoughts.

I might spend £10-£15 on a good book, and it’ll provide me with, say, 10-20 hours of entertainment, depending on the number of words and the re-readability of the story. I’ll frequently spend more than this on non-fiction books, but I’ll disregard them as entertainment for the time being (despite the fact that I’m frequently caught enjoying a good reference volume in the bath), because most normal people don’t read these for fun. So that’s 50p to £1.50 per hour of entertainment, on average – and I’ll frequently buy books that are cheaper than this. Books are also great in that I can hand them on to friends or family, which doubles or triples the value if we’re counting “person-hours”. Some of my favourite books, such as Imajica and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which I have read multiple times and passed on to friends to read too, have values like 10p/hour or less. That’s pretty good value as far as entertainment goes.
Sometimes I rent DVDs (typically, only where it’s more convenient to do so than to download the film, and, sadly, it’s currently easier to download pirated versions of films than legitimate ones, so they win, but I look forward to being able to rent films online in a sensible manner). A DVD rental costs me about £3. If it were about an hour and a half long and I watched it alone, that’d give me a value of about £2/hour, but films not only have the advantage of being able to share them with friends, but they can be shared simultaneously with friends (try this with books and you’ll quickly get frustrated, particularly if you have an uncommonly fast or slow reading speed). If I watch a £3 DVD or (shocker) videotape rental with three friends, that’s a value of about 50p per person-hour. Pretty good value.

Buying films isn’t such good value, because at about £15 or so each you’d have to watch each one five times to get the equivalent value as if you’d rented it. Plus, you’re likely to rent the film (or see it at the cinema, which has only slightly greater cost than renting it) before buying it, which is a cost that counts against you because if you’d bought it in the first place you wouldn’t have needed to pay to rent it: so; assume I rent a DVD (£3), like it, and buy it (£15): I’ve then got to watch it a further five times before it becomes worth the same as re-renting it. Plus, buying a film puts you at risk of the disc becoming scratched (or the tape worn out), nullifying the value of your purchase. You have to particularly like a film to be worth buying it at retail prices: that, or be willing to sacrifice the money for the convenience of having the film always available at a moment’s notice, or really want the special features you don’t get on the rental copy.

Now let’s have a look at computer games. Computer games are a complicated beast, because their value on this (very simplistic, I know) scale is so hard to assess. I bought a copy of Civilization IV and I’ve probably played it for about 40 hours: at £25, that’s about 60p per person-hour so far, not counting the time that Claire has spent playing it, and based on my enjoyment of it’s prequels I anticipate I’ll have gotten it as low as about 4p per person-hour before I get sufficiently bored of it to put it away forever. But on the other hand, there’s a huge difference between NetHack, which is free, and has consumed well over 100 hours of my life, and Myst 4, for which I paid £35 and which has taken no more than about 6 hours of my time (that’s almost £6 per person-hour: unbelievably bad value).

Not only is the value by straight “person-hours” of videogames very variable, but they suffer from another complication: the loss, in the majority of cases, of the benefits of the social element. Books are high-value because they’re cheap and you can lend them to your friends. Films are medium-to-high value because they’re cheap to rent, you can try them out (by renting them) before you commit to buying them, and because you can watch them with a whole roomful of friends (although if there’s more than nine of you, or money changes hands, it might be considered a “public screening” and is illegal). But computer games are complex again: Civilization IV is a multiplayer-capable game, for example, and I can play it with anybody in the world, but if I want to play it with my girlfriend at the other end of the room, I have to buy another copy of the game. I can play with her on the same computer, but because the game has a copy-protection mechanism that requires that the CD is in the drive to play (and for no other purpose than this – all the data is on the hard disk), I’m restricted from playing across my local network. Well, until I install a No-CD crack or duplicate the disc, but you see my point.

Several of the early games in the Command & Conquer series came with two CDs, and allowed two players to play together from the same copy (if you wanted more players, you had to buy more copies). That seemed fair. The original Command & Conquer cost me under £20 and ate most of my life during the last few years of high school: the value is immeasurably high. But so many computer games these days are so expensive and the risk that you’ll pick up a crap one is high. Combine that with the fact that nobody does rentals of PC games, and you’ve got a great explanation of why the piracy rate is so high. I’d far rather download a copy of Latest Game 2: The Revenge and play it, and, if I like it, buy a copy. So that’s what I do. Only the companies who make crap games lose out, but all of the companies try to make it difficult for me. What’s up with that?

An interesting side effect of this approach is that I am more likely to pay for a game with no copy protection or weak copy protection than I am to pay for a game with strong copy protection (or shitty crippleware-laden copy protection like StarForce), simply because I’m less likely to have downloaded and played it already.

Wow; that was a fair meander from my original point.

The Infinity Machine

I read a great article this morning: The Infinity Machine, by Simon Tatham. It looks at the possibility of a hypothetical computer that is capable of processing at infinite speeds. However, unlike many other hypothetical infinity devices, it doesn’t look at the theoretical implications of the project, but the practical ones (if you had a hotel with an infinite number of rooms, what colour would the towels be?). For example, it looks at what instructions the instruction set would need to contain, and how language extensions to, for example, C, might be implemented to take advantage of the processor’s power. It examines the implications of such a system on cryptography, and proposes an alternative cryptographic system that this computer would be able to provide to make up for the fact that it’s existance will have broken all existing cryptographic systems except one-time pads.

It’s probably not interesting if you’re not some variety of geek, but I enjoyed it. The chap also wrote a great article on how be built a pair of dice that never roll a 7.

Fun And Games With Google Suggest

Ah, the fun that’s to be had with Google Suggest:

Google is...Microsoft is...Wikipedia is...Ebay is...Gay people are...Eat my...Blogs are...George Bush is...Christians are...

Some interesting facts we’ve learned:

  • “Gay people are gay” results in more hits than “Microsoft is bad”.
  • The only things people seem to say about Wikipedia is that it’s slow and that it’s down.
  • The only people who don’t distrust or hate eBay aren’t sure whether or not it’s safe.
  • Christians are one of the few things in the world that people don’t seem to think are gay. However, they still hate them more than pretty much anything else, even “gay people”, who are at least “cool.”
  • Blogs are only slightly more gay than they are stupid.
  • George Bush is a gay, evil, stupid moronic idiot. And, presumably, a Christian.

Have a play with Google Suggest yourself.

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Aberystwyth Webcams Widget

There’s a reason that people shouldn’t show me new programming languages and development platforms: I try them out. Even when I’ve got other things I should be doing. Ah well.

Aberystwyth Webcam Widget

And so I’d like to present: the Aberystwyth Webcams Widget [update: link dead], which collates the images of the three Ceredigion Country Council webcams into a little widget that sits on your desktop. It works in both Windows and MacOS X (on MacOS, it integrates quite nicely with any other desktop widgets you’re using), but you do need to install the Yahoo! Widget Engine version 2.0 or above.

Aberystwyth Webcams Widget (165KB)  [update: link dead]

Never written a Yahoo! Widget before, so I’m interested in any feedback you care to leave.