Tag: funny
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The Mystery
BriTANicK (YouTube)
Brian and Nick are back for the first time in, like, forever. Do you remember what happened before this? It was The Faux Pas, two years ago. And before that? And before that? And before that? The short of it is that it's been a long time since your mom's butthole was … -
There's lots of ugliness in the world right now, so I think it's important to share these photos...
There's lots of ugliness in the world right now, so I think it's important to share these photos of what happened when my friend Marvin called me & said: "I'm getting married & we can only invite 100 people. You didn't make the cut. But you can come if you come … -
Toddler Feelings Helpline
Hello, you have reached the Toddler Feelings Helpline. Please choose from the following options:
— If Mama went to the store for a minute but you are pretty sure she’s never coming back, please mash all of the keys but mostly 1.
— If you still feel pretty messed up about how they were just going to … -
So, a shipment of crickets for the lizard arrived via FedEx today...
So, a shipment of crickets for the lizard arrived via FedEx today. It was my first time ordering bulk crickets off the internet, and I naively assumed that they would be in like, a bag or some other contraption to facilitate easy transfer to another container. They were not.
They were in a cardboard box. And … -
An Honest Stock Market Update
NEW YORK -- Stocks gained momentum on Monday, with the Dow Jones Industrial Average closing up 48 points, reversing losses from last week's decline.
Experts hailed both moves as a "remarkable, textbook example of pure statistical chance," chalking up Monday's gains to a couple random marginal buyers being slightly more motivated than a few random marginal sellers.
"Imagine … -
Jered Threatin
by Jessica Lussenhop “We would have been overjoyed if that many people actually turned up.”
Jessica Lussenhop (BBC News)
Remember Threatin? Earlier this year, this guy and his band played a European tour to... basically nobody. He'd faked having a successful US career, record deal, etc. and persuaded a handful of session musicians to tour … -
These Dragon Christmas Decorations Are Tearing a Neighborhood Apart
by River Donaghey
A Louisiana woman's unusual Christmas decorations have inadvertently ignited a beef on her street—because they've apparently got her boring-ass neighbors worried that she's a member of a "demonic cult."
Author Diana Rowland just wanted to celebrate the spirit of the holiday season by, naturally, setting up a bunch of inflatable dragons on her … -
How to Poach an Egg and Leave a Marriage
by Brandy Jensen ...
Set a timer. Cook the eggs for precisely three minutes and not a second longer.
Everyone thinks they have a sense of how time passes, but it’s crucial to use a timer. You are never as right as you think. Three minutes goes by more quickly than you expect. Six years even quicker.
...
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Toto - Africa (Chicken cover)
Big Marvel (youtube.com)
Big Marvel (YouTube)
One man - who appears to be afraid of chickens - plays Toto's Africa on a rubber chicken, with backup from a real chicken. Congratulations: if you watched this, you just won the whole damn Internet. -
The Prime Minister's New Bill
With apologies to Hans Christian Andersen and thanks to JTA, both of whom deserve the credit for this more than I.
Once there lived a Prime Minister, and she loved to wear clothes made of strong international relations. One day a Swindler came to the Prime Minister and he promised that … -
JUST LEARNED THERE ARE 16 OUNCES IN A POUND
by @innesmck
JUST LEARNED THERE ARE 16 OUNCES IN A POUND AND I AM FUCKING LIVID
SIXTEEN???
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NUMBER IS THAT
i have had no reason to actually look into imperial measurements until now and frankly i … -
Baby Burping Robot
Useless Duck Company (YouTube)
At the moment at which he described the machine's success, I completely lost it. -
This teacher had to tell her deaf students that people can hear farts. Their reaction was hilarious.
Anna Trupiano is a first-grade teacher at a school that serves deaf, hard-of-hearing, and hearing students from birth through eighth grade.
In addition to teaching the usual subjects, Trupiano is charged with helping her students thrive in a society that doesn’t do enough to cater to the needs of the hard-of-hearing.
Recently, Trupiano had to teach her … -
Websites in 2018
Seva Zaikov
Are you a time-traveller? Just arrived in 2018? Want to know what the Web of our day is like? This. This is what it's like (click through for the full horror). -
The Expert: Wrong Angle
Lauris Beinerts (YouTube)
Do you remember The Expert, that video from 2014 that had engineers around the world laughing and crying in equal measure? Turns out that, earlier this year, a trio of sequels were made! This is the first of them.