I guess I’m never paying DreamHost back

About twenty years ago, after a a tumultuous life, Big.McLargeHuge – the shared server of several other Abnibbers and I – finally and fatally kicked the bucket. I spun up its replacement, New.McLargeHuge, on hosting company DreamHost, and this blog (and many other sites) moved over to it1.

Screenshot of a web page listing domain names hosted on big.mclargehuge.
Wow, I’d forgotten half of these websites existed.

I only stayed with DreamHost for a few years before switching to Bytemark, with whom I was a loyal customer right up until a few years ago2, but in that time I took advantage of DreamHost’s “Refer & Earn” program, which allowed me to create referral codes that, if redeemed by others who went on to become paying customers, would siphon off a fraction of the profits as a “kickback” against my server bills. Neat!3

Invoice from DreamHost to Dan Q dated 30 June 2007, showing an annual renewal of New.McLargeHuge for $239.40 partially-offset by six referral payments for $0.99 each.
DreamHost’s referrals had a certain “pyramid scheme” feel in that you could get credit for the people referred by the people you referred.

A year or so after I switched to ByteMark, DreamHost decided I owed them money: probably because of a “quirk” in their systems. I disagreed with their analysis, so I ignored their request. They “suspended” my account (which I wasn’t using anyway), and that was the end of it.

Right?

But the referral fees continued to trickle in. For the last seventeen years, I’ve received a monthly email advising me that my account had been credited, off the back of a referral.

Collection of monthly emails from DreamHost advising of referral rewards of between $2.40 and $5.16.
I have no explanation as to why the amount of the referral reward fluctuates, but I can only assume that it’s the result of different people on different payment schedules?

About once a year I log in and check the balance. I was quite excited to discover that, at current rates, they’d consider me “paid-up” for my (alleged) debt by around Spring 2026!

I had this whole plan that I’d write a blog post about it when the time came. It could’ve been funny!

But it’s not to be: DreamHost emailed me last night to tell me that they’re killing their “Refer & Earn” program; replacing it with something different-but-incompatible (social media’s already having a grumble about this, I gather).

So I guess this is the only blog post you’ll get about “that time DreamHost decided I owed them money and I opted to pay them back in my referral fees over the course of eighteen years”.

No big loss.

Footnotes

1 At about the same time I moved Three Rings over from its previous host, Easily, to DreamHost too, in order to minimise the number of systems I had to keep an eye on. Oh, how different things are now, when I’ve got servers and domain registrations and DNS providers all over the damn place!

2 Bytemark have rapidly gone downhill since their acquisition by Iomart a while back, IMHO.

3 Nowadays, this blog (and several of my other projects) is hosted by Linode, whose acquisition by Akamai seems not to have caused any problems with, so that’s fab.

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