Note #27940

Bitterly cold and starkly beautiful, this morning: West Oxfordshire is blanketed in an impenetrably thick freezing fog.

It’s quite pretty, though I’m regretting not bringing my gloves out with me!

Tree-flanked fields almost impossible to discern through a blanket of thick white fog.

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Duck shunning

I’m not sure which of our children was last in this bath, but the configuration in which they’ve left their toys makes me feel as though I’m the subject of some kind of waterfowl-related shunning.

Perhaps they finally got wind or my heretical opinions on the God of Ducks (may he throw us bread) and they’ve collectively decided to disassociate from me?

Four thematic rubber ducks sit along the edge of a fitted white bathtub, seemingly deliberate in their placement which sees them facing directly away from the bather and towards various shampoo bottles and a candle in a glass.

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Autumn Sunrise

Gorgeous autumn dawn this morning with a razor-sharp moon hanging above the shifting hues of the South-East.

A silver sliver of a crescent moon in the indigo part of a colourful autumn sunrise framed between spindly tree branches above and roofs below.

It’s going to be a cold one. (At last; it’s been an unseasonably-warm November so far!)

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Ten Pointless Facts About Me

This has been doing the rounds; I last saw it on Kev’s blog. I like that the social blogosphere’s doing this kind of fun activity again, these days1.

1. Do you floss your teeth?

Umm… sometimes? Not as often as I should. Don’t tell my dentist!

Usually at least once a month, never more than once a week. I really took to heart some advice that if you’re using a fluoridated mouthwash then you shouldn’t do it close to when you brush your teeth (or you counteract the benefits), so my routine is that… when I remember and can be bothered to floss… I’ll floss and mouthwash, but like in the middle of the day.

And since I moved my bedroom (and bathroom) one floor further up our house, it’s harder to find the motivation to do so! So I’m probably flossing less. The unanticipated knock-on effect of extending your house!

2. Tea, coffee, or water?

I love a coffee to start a workday, but I have to be careful how much I consume because caffeine hits me pretty hard, even after a concentrated effort over the last 10 years or so to gradually increase my tolerance. I can manage a couple of mugs in the morning and be fine, now, but three coffees… or any in the mid-afternoon onwards… and I’m at risk of throwing off my ability to sleep later2.

I keep a bottle of water wherever I work to try to encourage myself to hydrate, because I’ve got medical evidence to show that I don’t drink enough water! It sometimes works.

3. Footwear preference?

Basic trainers for everyday use; comfortable boots for hiking; slippers for when I’m working. Nothing special.

I wear holes in footwear (and everything else I wear) faster than anybody I know, so nowadays I go for good-value comfort over any other considerations when buying shoes.

A French Bulldog looks-on guiltily at a hand holding the remains of a pair of slippers that have been thoroughly shredded.
One time it was the dog’s fault that my footwear fell apart, but usually they do so by themselves.

4. Favourite dessert?

Varies, but if we’re eating out, I’m probably going to be ordering the most-chocolatey dessert on the menu.

5. The first thing you do when you wake up?

The very first thing I do when I wake up is check how long it is before I need to get up, and make a decision about when I’m going to do so. I almost never need my alarm to wake me: I routinely wake up half an hour or so before my alarm would go off, most mornings. But exactly how early I wake directly impacts what I do next. If I’m well-rested and it’s early enough, I’ll plan on getting up and doing something productive: an early start to work, or some voluntary work for Three Rings, or some correspondence. If it’s close to the time I need to get up I’ll more-often just stay in bed and spend longer doing the actual answer I should give…

…because the “real” answer is probably: pick up my phone, and open up FreshRSSalmost always the first and last thing I do online in a day! I’ll skim the news and blogosphere and “set aside” for later anything I’d like to re-read or look at later on.

6. Age you’d like to stick at?

Honestly, I’m good where I am, thanks.

Sure, I was fitter and healthier in my 20s, and I had more free time in my early 30s… and there are certainly things I miss and get nostalgic about in any era of my life. But conversely: it took me a long, long time to “get my shit together” to the level I have now, and I wouldn’t want to have to go through all of the various bits of self-growth, therapy, etc. all over again!

So… sure, I’d be happy to transplant my intellect into 20-year-old me and take advantage of my higher energy level of the time for an extra decade or so3. But I wouldn’t go back even a decade if it meant that I had to go relearn and go through everything from that decade another time, no thanks!

7. How many hats do you own?

Four. Ish.

Composite of four images of Dan, a white man with long hair and a beard. He's wearing a hoodie with a picture of Fluttershy (from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) wearing the iconic armour from the Elder Scrolls: Skyrim video game. In each of the four pictures he's wearing a different hat: a rainbow-striped bandana, a blackcap with the word 'GEEK' on the front in white lettering, a warm furry hat, and a purple woolen hat with a "Woo" logo.

They are:

  1. A bandana. Actually, I own maybe half a dozen bandanas, mostly in Pride rainbow colours. Bandanas are amazingly versatile: they fold small which suits my love of travelling light these last few years, they can function as headgear, dust mask, neckerchief, flannel, etc.4, and they do a pretty good job of keeping my head cool and protecting my growing bald spot from the fierce rays of the summer sun.
  2. A “geek” hat. Okay, I’ve actually got three of these, too, in slightly different designs. When they first started appearing at Oxford Geek Nights, I just kept winning them! I’m not a huge fan of caps, so mostly the kids wear them… although I do put one on when I’m collecting takeaway food so I can get away with just putting e.g. “geek hat” in the “name” field, rather than my name5.
  3. A warm hat that comes out only when the weather is incredibly cold, or when I’m skiing. As I was reminded while skiing on my recent trip to Finland, I should probably switch to wearing a helmet when I ski, but I’ve been skiing for three to four decades without one and I find the habit hard to break.6
  4. A wooly hat that I was given by a previous employer at a meetup in Mexico last year. I wore it a couple of times last winter but it’s otherwise not seen much use.

8. Describe the last photo you took?

The last photo I took was of myself wearing a “geek” hat. You’ve seen it, it’s above!

But the one before that was this picture of an extremely large bottle of champagne, with a banana for scale, that was delivered to my house earlier today:

A six-litre bottle of champagne, wrapped in bubble wrap and surrounded by packing peanuts, in a wooden transport case, with a banana resting atop it.
A 6-litre champagne bottle is properly-termed a Methuselah, after Noah’s grandad I guess.

Ruth and JTA celebrate their anniversary every few years with the “next size up” of champagne bottle, and this is the one they’re up to. This year, merely asking me to help them drink it probably won’t be sufficient (that’d still be two litres each!) so we’re probably going to have to get some friends over.

I took the photo to send to Ruth to reassure her that the bottle had arrived safely, after the previous attempt went… less well. I added the banana “for scale” before sharing the photo with some other friends, too.

A wooden case containing a completely smashed 6-litre champagne bottle.
The previous delivery… didn’t go so well. 😱

9. Worst TV show?

PAW Patrol. No doubt.

You know all those 1980s kids TV shows that basically existed for no other purpose than as a marketing vehicle for a range of toys? I’m talking He-Man (and She-Ra), TransformersG.I. JoeCare BearsM.A.S.K.Rainbow Brite, and My Little Pony. Well, those shows look good compared to PAW Patrol.

3D render of a boy and six dogs (each dressed as a representative of a different service) - the PAW Patrol. Ugh.
Six pups, each endowed with exactly one personality trait7 but a plethora of accessories and vehicles which expands every season so that no matter how many toys you’ve got, y0u’re always behind the curve.

I was delighted when our kids graduated from PAW Patrol to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic because it’s an enormously better show (the songs kick ass, too) and we could finally shake off the hollow, pointless, internally-inconsistent advertisement that is PAW Patrol.

10. As a child, what was your aspiration for adulthood?

This is the single most-boring thing about me, and I’ve doubtless talked about it before. At some point between the age of about six and eight years old, I decided that I wanted to grow up and become… a computer programmer.

And then I designed the entirety of the rest of my education around that goal. I learned a variety of languages and paradigms under my own steam while setting myself up for a GCSE in IT, and then A-Levels in Maths and Computing, and then a Degree in Computer Science, and by the time I’d done all of that I was already working in the industry: self-actualised by 21.

Like I said: boring!

Your turn!

You should give this pointless quiz a go too. Ping/Webmention me if you do (or comment below, I suppose); I’d love to read what you write.

Footnotes

1 They’re internet memes, in the traditional sense, but sadly people usually use “meme” nowadays exclusively to describe image memes, and not other kinds of memetic Internet content. Just another example of our changing Internet language, which I’ve written about before. Sometimes they were silly quizzes (wanna know what Meat Loaf song I am?); sometimes they were about you and your friends. But images, they weren’t: that came later.

2 Or else I’ll get a proper jittery heart-flutter going!

3 I wouldn’t necessarily even miss the always-on, in-your-pocket, high-speed Internet of today: the Internet was pretty great back then, too!

4 Obviously an intergalactic hitch-hiker should include a bandana, perhaps as well as an equally-versatile towel, in their toolkit.

5 It’s not about privacy, although that’s a fringe benefit I suppose: mostly it’s about getting my food quicker! If I walk into Dominos wearing a geek hat and they’ve got pizza on the counter with a label on it that says it’s for “geek hat”, they’ll just hand it over, no questions, and I’m in-and-out in seconds.

6 JTA observed that similar excuses were used by people who resisted the rollout of mandatory seatbelt usage in cars, so possibly I’m the “bad guy” here.

7 From left to right, the single personality traits for each of the pups are (a) doesn’t like water, (b) is female, (c) likes naps, (d) is allergic to cats, (e) is clumsy, and (f) is completely fucking pointless.

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Rabbithole

The dog came out for a walk with the eldest kid and I, but we couldn’t stop her sticking her head down rabbitholes!

In a grassy field, a girl in a red dress and comfortable boots kneels with her head completely vanished down a rabbit hole.

(Oh, and the dog kept doing it, too.)

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Scaredypup

A moderately-large house spider dropped down and startled my dog as she napped in her basket, so now she’s hiding under my desk and refusing to return to bed. 🙄😂

In faux-soft-focus, a champagne-coloured French Bulldog looks up from beneath an office desk, framed between the shorts-wearing legs of a white man.

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Hammocking with the Dog

Finished work. Figured I’d chill in the hammock for a bit as it’s so nice out.

The dog decided she wanted to lie in it too.

So now I am a pillow for a dog.

Dan, a middle-aged white man with long hair and a goatee beard, lies on a striped hammock in a verdant garden. He's wearing a t-shirt which says "love" over a ribbon in pride colours, and on his chest lies a contented-looking champagne-coloured French Bulldog.

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Hotdog Among the Trees

As the UK’s heatwave continues, the dog and I were delighted that this morning was sufficiently overcast that we could manage a proper walk without completely melting.

A French Bulldog on a forested path, panting happily.

Her breed copes badly with the heat and we’ve lately had to keep her indoors or in the shade more than she’d like, so a chance to run around among the trees was very welcome!

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Unrepentant Blep

The unrepentant bleppy face of a dog who, without fail, steals the warm spot I’ve left behind on the sofa within like three seconds of me standing up.

A champagne-coloured French bulldog sits askew on a blue blanket atop a grey sofa, her tongue sticking out and to the side, as she looks at the photographer.

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Note #26502

My contribution to the long-standing British tradition of photographing dogs at polling stations. Don’t forget to vote, folks!

A French Bulldog stands alongside a polling station sign that's been attached to a bike rack.

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