Look what I found while I was wasting time on the ‘net this morning.
Tag: funny
Safe Road Use Of Elephants
Aside from the main point of this article, I found it most amusing to find that state-run Indian elephants are fitted with reflectors ‘in an attempt to prevent road accidents’. What does it take to accidentally crash into an elephant?
Silliest Thing I’ve Seen All Week
As this hilarious BBC news story tells it, an artist came home to his Liverpool house to find that:
(a) A criminal had broken in to his home.
(b) Mistaking a piece of his artwork as a human head in a jar, the criminal turned himself in to the police to tell them about it. He also confessed all of his crimes to his mother.
(c) The police broke down the door and raided the house, and found that the contents of the jar were merely formaldehyde and a mask made from rashers of bacon.
I laughed.
Now I’m going home. I’m not feeling top-form today.
Hunting For Bambi
This news article, entitled Hunting For Bambi, amused me for a few minutes.
Almost Passed This On The Way To Work
Another fantastic story from the BBC: this one took place yesterday, and so I missed it, as I didn’t come in to work. Apparently this lorry full of cheese caught fire on the A44, on my usual route to the office. The driver said: “I saw the fire starting but by the time I’d gone back to the cab to get the fire extinguisher the whole lot had started to go on fire.”
1. Cheese burns?
2. What route did he take back to the cab? Via Bow Street?
3. How does combusion occur in the hold of a moving lorry full of milk produce?
Sandplough
As this report by the BBC states, Danish soldiers in Iraq were surprised when their latest supplies shipment, instead of containing much-needed morphine and tent equipment, contained a snowplough and a supply of lawnmowers.
Now; okay – I understand that mistakes happen, and perhaps there was a mix-up between two supplies orders… but somebody must have signed-off this snowplough to Iraq… didn’t they think to question the order just once?
Defense Minister Svend Aage Jensby has told one Danish paper, Ekstra Bladet, of his displeasure over the mistakes and has promised to put them right.
That lit up my Thursday morning.
Anonymity For Beginners
Somebody obviously didn’t understand the idea of the BBC’s story on annoying work colleagues when they posted the following comment: see how they signed it off –
Why are there so many ‘Anonymous’ comments above? If people are so concerned about their colleagues, then say so with the courage of your convictions rather than snipe about them
anonymously!
Anonymous, UK
Raised a laugh among my work colleagues, anyway.
Practical Joke Of The Week
Am pulling off a fantastic one against my girlfriend, Claire. On Friday, our landlord arrived with a plumber to replace the leaky taps in our bathroom. The new taps are very similar in design, but significantly taller. I didn’t tell Claire that we have them.
Yesterday – Saturday – night, after washing her hands, she remarked “This is going to sound really weird… but have those taps changed?” I played it cool – after all, these were the same taps we’ve always had, aren’t they? She keeps looking at them in an odd way every time she walks past the bathroom.
Claire’s birthday tomorrow.
Scatman’s World
[this page was originally posted to AvAngel.com but is archived here; the links have been adapted to improve usability]
Introduction
After playing around for some time with Corel Photo-Paint and Adobe Premiere, I decided it was time to make a cool music video that quite blatantly took the piss out of Bagpuss, a friend of mine with whom I used to share lodgings at University. I believe that when he saw it, his exact words were “I’m going to kill him.”
Well, not content with having made a fool out of him, my next project was to make a fool out of myself (what do you mean, I do that all the time anyway!)… and so my next video project was…
Scatman’s World
After my nickname among many folks in Aberystwyth, Scatman Dan (a reference, of course, to the late Scatman John), I made this music video, which made it’s big-screen premiere at the Aberystwyth Arts Centre Cinema on Saturday 4th May 2002 (after a two-week delay caused by numerous technical problems). And now, for your viewing pleasure, it’s available to download here (it’s a DixX-encoded file, so you’ll need an appropriate player). Being, as it is, filled from top to bottom with in-jokes, it’s probably not even remotely funny if you don’t know who I am.
Download The Video
Warning : This file is just under 30MB in size, and will take a considerable amount of time to download, even on a fast connection. You have been warned.
Warning : Owing to explicit content, this video is not suitable for viewing by anybody under the age of 18 years, without parental consent and supervision.
Note : It is recommended that you attempt to save this file to your hard disk, rather than attempting to play it directly from the site, as this corrects a lot of potential download problems with this file. In most browsers, this can be achieved by right-clicking on the link and selecting “Save File As…” or “Save Target As…”.
[the download is no longer hosted here, but you can view the video on YouTube]