Cleaved

What's got nine working fingers and shouldn't be allowed to own a meat cleaver?

Alt

Dan stares into the camera, pointing to himself with the first finger of his left hand, which is pouring blood from a deep laceration.

I was chopping a swede with perhaps a little too much gusto and the next thing I knew, the blade was embedded in my finger. Whoops!

I put a plaster on it, but it was bleeding too much to stick. So I put a bigger plaster on, but it bled through. So I dug a sterile pad and a roll of bandages out of the first aid box and secured it tightly (which is harder than it looks when you're down a finger), and now it seems okay.

Except typing is hard, which might pose a problem given that I do quite a lot of that for work. And playing the piano, which I'm already pretty bad at, is really hard. Although probably the biggest inconvenience has been repeatedly forgetting that I can't use that (bandaged) finger to fingerprint-unlock things right now.

Ah well.