Sadder Than Fiction

Duration

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On a number of occasions over the first two decades of this century I’ve attempted to write a particular short story with a science fiction/alternate history feel. Now, I’ve given up on it, and that’s… fine.

Fiction

The story’s taken several forms over the years, but the theme’s always been the same: a crazy narrative spun by an isolated society turns out, incredibly, to be true. But ultimately the people who discover that fact choose to keep it a secret because the flawed lie they live in is preferable to the instability and chaos that they fear could result. It taps into ideas about conspiracy theories, hidden worlds, and the choices we make when we have to choose between living authentically or living comfortably.

Screenshot from Obsidian, showing a Writing folder containing Suicide of a Time Traveller, Compression, Everybody Remembers That Show, and (selected) The Korean Incident.
Guess this Obsidian note is off to the “Never” folder, now.

In its most-concrete form, the story covered the political aftermath of the capture by the DPRK of a fishing boat that (allegedly) drifted into North Korean waters1. The North Korea of the story represents the country at its most isolationist and mysterious, and the captured trawler crew are surprised to experience at Pyongyang a socialist utopia supported by futuristic technology. It turns out that North Korea’s in-universe propaganda is true: they really are an advanced self-reliant nation whose message of peace is being distorted by Western imperialist leaders. Insofar as the truth is known in the West, it’s suppressed for fear that the Korean model represents a democratic, post-scarcity future that threatens to undermine the power of the oligarchs of the world.

When the boat and those aboard it are repatriated with the assumption that they will act as ambassadors to the outside world, the crew are subjected to interrogations and cajoling by their home nations. They mustn’t talk about what they saw North of the 38th parallel, they’re told, with threats of imprisonment and violence if they do and financial inducements offered for their compliance. But in the end, the most-effective message for getting the wayward fisherfolk on side is their realisation that the world isn’t ready for the truth. In a dialogue between the imprisoned seafarers, they agree that they should take the bribes and return quietly to their families, not for their own sake but because they believe that telling their story would lead to a terrible war between two equally-matched parties: a small nation armed with futuristic sci-fi weapons, on one side, and the might of the nuclear superpowers of the rest of the world.

As the sun sets behind growing clouds, a small fishing vessel flying a red flag glides across a moderately-smooth ocean.

As a final twist, it’s revealed that the captain of the vessel was actually a spy, aware of the truth the entire time, who allowed the boat to go off-course with an aim of gathering information on the North Korean situation. The story finishes with the captain, having been instrumental in persuading their crew not to share what they saw, wavering in their confidence, and possibly being implied to be the author of the story.

Re-reading my notes and drafted content, I’ve got to admit that it’s got a certain feel of… Dr. Strangelove discovers Wakanda? Or maybe more like the Pueblo incident set in the world of They Live.2 It might’ve been fun to finish, someday, but now it’s not.

Sadder

That nod to Dr. Strangelove is apt, because my aim was to write something which looked farcically at the nature of political competition on a global scale, in a world in which the zaniest possible conspiracy theory turned out to be true. Strangelove used the existence of a Project Sundial-style doomsday device as the surprise truth; I was using the idea that DPRK propaganda might actually be more-honest than the narratives of its rivals3.

George C. Scott playing General Turgidson in Dr. Strangelove.
“Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines,” was funnier when nuclear annihilation was the only existential threat we were routinely talking about. Nowadays saying it sounds like it carries a bit of Farnsworth’s dejected “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore” energy.

In my off-and-on-again long-running effort to pen the story, I last made any real effort back in around 2015-2016. Since then, the entire concept hasn’t been funny any more. Today, the story would be less farce than lampoonery, and not in a good way.

When I first envisaged the concept of the story, researching conspiracy theories meant laughing at Flat Earthers and picking holes in the arguments of the proponents of a “moon landing hoax”. For the most part, conspiracy theories seemed ridiculous, but not dangerous4. But somewhere along the way from then to now, conspiracy theories started becoming more… mainstream?

Woman wearing a tinfoil hat, thinking "if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it's probably... part of Bill Gates' secret drone army, delivering microchips for the Reptilians to put into our vaccines!"
Don’tcha miss when conspiracy theorists were mostly harmless idiots?

And that made the story… not fun, any more. Convicted felon Donald Trump loves to claim that a deep state cabal of leftists and big tech companies are suppressing his voice. Or that immigrants are eating pets. Or that the announcement of Osama bin Laden’s death was timed carefully so that people would watch news about that rather than Trump’s show Celebrity Apprentice5.

It turns out that my comedy villain – the leader of the “free” world who leverages enormous power to lie to and manipulate everybody – isn’t a laughing matter any more.

Perhaps I should try my hand at writing bleak, dystopian fiction instead.

Footnotes

1 Like this incident in 2009, perhaps, although there are lots of similar examples before and since.

2 In my notes somewhere I’ve got a concept that I never explored for the story which was that North Korea is under the control of a benevolent alien species trying to uplift humanity, while much of the rest of the developed world is under the influence of a malicious alien species who’re using their position to push humans to terraform Earth into something more-suited to their needs. So maybe like The Forge of God but with a climate change message? I never really worked on this idea though because it felt like I was weaving too many concepts into one tiny narrative.

3 Both are bonkers-crazy ideas, but Project Sundial is, sadly, more-believable: Kurzgesagt did a fun video about it recently.

4 Obviously I know there are exceptions and I’m speaking from a position of privilege. For a long while, for example, conspiracy theories relating to holocaust denialism have caused real harm to people. And of course there’s for a long while been actual damage caused by folks who (loudly) subscribe to false beliefs about HIV, or 9/11, or Sandy Hook, and countless others.

5 This is the kind of conspiracy theory that should be funny: idiot who bitches about claimed birthplace of president annoys that president enough that he times a battle with a wanted terrorist, so that the terrorist’s death will coincide with the timeslot of the idiot’s TV programme. But somehow, the way that politics has gone lately, especially in the USA, means that it’s not funny any more. Easily-disprovable conspiracy theories were amusing when they were the territory of crazy fringe groups; once they get tens of thousands of (armed, militant) believers, they go from being an amusement to being a dangerous cult.

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Harswell Steel

My past self, receiving a copy of Transport Tycoon for his 14th birthday, would have his mind blown if he could see the kind of insanely-complex super-stations that are possible in (the open-source successor to) the game 30 years on.

Of course, this kind of thing – multiple simultaneously shared in-and-out routes on a bidirectional station – wasn’t (sensibly) possible before the introduction of path-based signalling in OpenTTD 0.7.0. And modern path-based signals in the game are even smarter.

But still, 14-year-old me had a dream. And nowadays that dream is real.

Dan Q found GC656RM Church Micro 8564…Ducklington

This checkin to GC656RM Church Micro 8564...Ducklington reflects a geocaching.com log entry. See more of Dan's cache logs.

The dog and I came out to Ducklington today for a spot of geohashing, in search of the 2024-11-14 51 -1 geohashpoint. After a walk around the fields to the East we had to give up on that expedition (for reasons that’ll be described in my geohashing log) so we decided to console ourselves with a hunt for this nearby geocache, instead.

Solving the first part was made harder when I failed to read the description properly and started counting letters in the sign, rather than the plaque, but once we’d corrected that mistake we were on our way.

At the GZ there was a clear trail that looked likely, but the dog took some coaxing to join us. As soon as I was at the coordinates (feeling like I was hiding in a bush!) and followed the hint instructions the cache was an easy find. TFTC!

Geohashing expedition 2024-11-14 51 -1

This checkin to geohash 2024-11-14 51 -1 reflects a geohashing expedition. See more of Dan's hash logs.

Location

Field East of Ducklington, West Oxfordshire

Participants

Plans

Not certain, but might be able to make this one!

Expedition

The dog and I drove out to Ducklington, parking near the church, and walked out to these fields. Unfortunately the hashpoint turns out to be 33+ metres into a field full of sheep. That _might’ve_ been the kind of trespassing I’d have been willing to consider, were it not for the combination of the amount of pedestrian traffic (a whole platoon of birdwatchers, armed with extra-long camera lenses, and every dog walker under the sun!) and the fact that I had the dog with me (who’d have to have waited unhappily outside the field: not taking her _into_ a field of sheep, even by only 33 metres).

GPS receiver in front of a field. The compass points deeper into the field and the screen reports that the destination is 32 metres away. Sheep are (barely) visible in the field, in the distance.
So near, and yet so far…

Instead, then, we took a pleasant walk around Ducklington and found the GC656RM “Church Micro 8564…Ducklington” geocache, so it wasn’t entirely a wasted trip. The dog’s come home and zonked out in her basket after a decent walk, anwyay!

Dan and his dog on a footpath with a field in the background.
Sad-face Dan and dog, near the hashpoint.

Tracklog

Map showing a walk around Ducklington, including out to near a field to the East and back.

Download tracklog.

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Geohash Luck

Maybe it’s just that my sabbatical is making me pay more attention then usual, but it feels like I’m getting very lucky with nearby geohashpoints lately. Tomorrow’s hashpoint in my graticule might be achievable!

Map showing my location on Witney and a pin 2.5km away in a field outside Ducklington. Geohashpoint for tomorrow.

This is a good omen, perhaps, for next week. Next week my mother and I are going to hop over to the West coast of Ireland where there are several contiguous mostly-land graticules that have never seen a successful expedition. We could be the first! 🤞

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Dominated

Kids’ ability to pick up new words from context is amazing.

Kids’ confidence even when they’ve misunderstood how a word is used is hilarious. 😊

This evening, our 7-year-old was boasting about how well-behaved his class was while their regular teacher had to attend an all-day meeting, vs how much it impressed the temporary teacher they had.

His words: “Today we had a supply teacher and we totally DOMINATED her!”

Autumnal

Waiting patiently at the school gates on a distinctly Autumnal morning, our pupper’s squat stature means she’s about knee-deep in the season’s golden leaves.

A champagne-coloured French Bulldog stands patiently alongside a post to which her lead is tied. With her short stature she's about knee-deep in Autumn leaf litter.

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Enumerating Domains

I’ve just enumerated my personal domain names. There’s a lot fewer of them than there used to be!1

Anyway: here’s the list –

I think that’s all of them, but it’s hard to be sure…

Footnotes

1 Maybe I’ve finally shaken off my habit of buying a domain name for everything. Or maybe it’s just that I’ve embraced subdomains for more stuff. Probably the latter.

Geohashing expedition 2024-11-10 51 -1

This checkin to geohash 2024-11-10 51 -1 reflects a geohashing expedition. See more of Dan's hash logs.

Location

Barnard Gate, where the A40 cycleway briefly diverges from the main road.

Participants

Plans

After brunch, I reckon I can get to and from this hashpoint… Tron-style!

Expedition

I planned a slightly circuitous route to this hashpoint in order to make a Tron achievement possible. I got my bike lightcycle out of the garage, checked the brakes and tyres, and set off in the opposite direction of the hashpoint! My thinking was I could cut up Tar Lakes Road to Cogges Farm, join the A40 cyclepath at Witney, follow it all the way to Barnard Gate, and – after passing through the hamlet and hopefully the hashpoint – turn _back_ along the opposite side of A40 (for the section that doesn’t have a cyclepath) and then cut through South Leigh to get back home.

Dan setting off cycling along a country road.

My first hazard came just three minutes out of my door, where a motorist failed to give way to me at Stanton Harcourt Roundabout, entering the junction even though I was already half-way across it from the other direction. They had to slam on their brakes to avoid smashing into the side of me, and I’ll admit I may have sworn at them at least a little as they pulled guiltily away.

The Tar Lakes road remains a delightful route from Stanton Harcourt to Witney, which I’ve enjoyed cycling many times. It was a little busier than usual, perhaps because it’s Sunday and folks were off to and from the fishing lakes along its path to do some angling or to walk their dogs, but it was still a fast and easy journey. Reaching Cogges, I turned back towards the hashpoint and joined the A40 cyclepath which, I hoped, would bring me right through it.

Roadworks ahead.

Approaching the hashpoint, I was concerned to see that the road was closed ahead, but a sign reassured me that it was still open to pedestrians, so I dismounted my bike. This also provided an excuse for me to slow down and pay attention to my GPSr as I counted down the metres. I got within the circle of uncertainty at ~3m away, as I leaned over the dyke that separates Pear Tree Cottage’s garden from the byway.

GPSr within the circle of uncertainty (shows 3m).

I snapped the regulation silly grin selfie at 14:44.

Dan smiling, wearing a cycle helmet, holding a GPSr by the side of a narrow road, with roadworks in the background.

Photo taken, I then had to continue to push my bike all the way through the roadworks: the fastest way home would have been to turn around, at this point, but I didn’t want to be robbed of my shot at the Tron achievement, so I pressed on.

Back the way I came.

At the far end of Barnard Gate I determined that cycling back along the A40 without the benefit of a cyclepath was perhaps a little too dangerous (especially after my scare earlier), so I adapted my route to instead head East towards Eynsham, crossing the main road at the Evenlode pub to get onto Old Witney Road, through Eynsham, and back onto the road home.

Presssing on.

Returning home, I made sure to cut the corner short as I turned into my driveway so I didn’t cross the path I’d taken as I’d initially exited, an hour earlier. A successful trip, and a fresh achievement!

Tracklog

Map showing the journey described above.

Download tracklog.

Dan Q earned the Tron achievement by reaching and returning from the (51, -1) geohash without crossing his own tracks on 2024-11-10.

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Note #24972

Future Arimaa grand masters at practice, this Sunday morning boardgaming session.

In a cluttered dining room, two children play Arimaa, a chess-like board game.

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XPath Scraping AdamKoszary.co.uk

Adam Koszary – whom I worked alongside at the Bodleian – the social media specialist who brought the “absolute unit” meme to the masses, started blogging earlier (again?) this year. Yay!

But he’s completely neglected to put an RSS feed on hew new blog. Boo!

Dan, wearing a VR headset, sits in an office environment, watched by Adam.
People who saw Adam and I work together might have questioned the degree to which it counted as “work”, but that’s another story.

I’ve talked at length about how I use FreshRSS‘s “XPath Scraping” feature (for Bev’s blog, Far Side, Forward, new Far Side, and Vmail, among others), but earlier this week somebody left a comment to ask me more about how I test and debug my XPath scrapers. Given that I now need to add one for Adam’s blog, I’m in a wonderful position to walk you through it!

Setting up and debugging your FreshRSS XPath Scraper

Okay, so here’s Adam’s blog. I’ve checked, and there’s no RSS feed1, so it’s time to start planning my XPath Scraper. The first thing I want to do is to find some way of identifying the “posts” on the page. Sometimes people use solid, logical id="..." and class="..." attributes, but I’m going to need to use my browser’s “Inspect Element” tool to check:

Screenshot showing Inspect Element in use on Adam's blog.
If you’re really lucky, the site you’re scraping uses an established microformat like h-feed. No such luck here, though…

The next thing that’s worth checking is that the content you’re inspecting is delivered with the page, and not loaded later using JavaScript. FreshRSS’s XPath Scraper works with the raw HTML/XML that’s delivered to it; it doesn’t execute any JavaScript2, so I use “View Source” and quickly search to see that the content I’m looking for is there, too.

HTML source code showing id="posts" highlighted.
New developers are sometimes surprised to see how different View Source and Inspect Element’s output can be3. This looks pretty promising, though.
Now it’s time to try and write some XPath queries. Luckily, your browser is here to help! If you pop up your debug console, you’ll discover that you’re probably got a predefined function, $x(...), to which you can path a string containing an XPath query and get back a NodeList of the element.

First, I’ll try getting all of the links inside the #posts section by running $x( '//*[@id="posts"]//a' )  –

A browser's debug console executes $x('//*[@id="posts"]//a') , and gets 14 results.
Once you’ve run a query, you can expand the resulting array and hover over any element in it to see it highlighted on the page. This can be used to help check that you’ve found what you’re looking for (and nothing else).
In my first attempt, I discovered that I got not only all the posts… but also the “tags” at the top. That’s no good. Inspecting the URLs of each, I noticed that the post URLs all contained /posts/, so I filtered my query down to $x( '//*[@id="posts"]//a[contains(@href, "/posts/")]' ) which gave me the expected number of results. That gives me //*[@id="posts"]//a[contains(@href, "/posts/")] as the XPath query for “news items”:
FreshRSS XPath feed configuration page showing my new query in the appropriate field.
I like to add the rules I’ve learned to my FreshRSS configuration as I go along, to remind me what I still need to find.

Obviously, this link points to the full post, so that tells me I can put ./@href as the “item link” attribute in FreshRSS.

Next, it’s time to see what other metadata I can extract from each post to help FreshRSS along:

Inspecting the post titles shows that they’re <h3>s. Running $x( '//*[@id="posts"]//a[contains(@href, "/posts/")]//h3' ) gets them. Within FreshRSS, everything “within” a post is referenced relative to the post, so I convert this to descendant::h3 for my “XPath (relative to item) for Item Title:” attribute.

An XPath query identifying the titles of the posts.
I was pleased to see that Adam’s using a good accessible heading cascade. This also makes my XPathing easier!

Inspecting within the post summary content, it’s… not great for scraping. The elements class names don’t correspond to what the content is4: it looks like Adam’s using a utility class library5.

Everything within the <a> that we’ve found is wrapped in a <div class="flex-grow">. But within that, I can see that the date is directly inside a <p>, whereas the summary content is inside a <p> within a <div class="mb-2">. I don’t want my code to be too fragile, and I think it’s more-likely that Adam will change the class names than the structure, so I’ll tie my queries to the structure. That gives me descendant::div/p for the date and descendant::div/div/p for the “content”. All that remains is to tell FreshRSS that Adam’s using F j, Y as his date format (long month name, space, short day number, comma, space, long year number) so it knows how to parse those dates, and the feed’s good.

If it’s wrong and I need to change anything in FreshRSS, the “Reload Articles” button can be used to force it to re-load the most-recent X posts. Useful if you need to tweak things. In my case, I’ve also set the “Article CSS selector on original website” field to article so that the full post text can be pulled into my reader rather than having to visit the actual site. Then I’m done!

Adam's blog post "Content of the Week #7: 200 Creators" viewed in FreshRSS.
Yet another blog I can read entirely from my feed reader, despite the fact that it doesn’t offer a “feed”.

Takeaways

  • Use Inspect Element to find the elements you want to scrape for.
  • Use $x( ... ) to test your XPath expressions.
  • Remember that most of FreshRSS’s fields ask for expressions relative to the news item and adapt accordingly.
  • If you make a mistake, use “Reload Articles” to pull them again.

Footnotes

1 Boo again!

2 If you need a scraper than executes JavaScript, you need something more-sophisticated. I used to use my very own RSSey for this purpose but nowadays XPath Scraping is sufficient so I don’t bother any more, but RSSey might be a good starting point for you if you really need that kind of power!

3 If you’ve not had the chance to think about it before: View Source shows you the actual HTML code that was delivered from the web server to your browser. This then gets interpreted by the browser to generate the DOM, which might result in changes to it: for example, invalid elements might be removed, ambiguous markup will have an interpretation applied, and so on. The DOM might further change as a result of JavaScript code, browser plugins, and whatever else. When you Inspect Element, you’re looking at the DOM (represented “as if” it were HTML), not the actual underlying HTML

4 The date isn’t in a <time> element nor does it have a class like .post--date or similar.

5 I’ll spare you my thoughts on utility class libraries for now, but they’re… not positive. I can see why people use them, and I’ve even used them myself before… but I don’t think they’re a good thing.

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Quesapizza Lunch

After a morning of optimising a nonprofit’s reverse proxy configuration, I feel like I’ve earned my lunch! Four cheese, mushroom and jalapeño quesapizzas, mmm…

Gas stovetop.a frying pan contains a tortilla wrap topped with tomato sauce, cheese, mushrooms, and jalapeños. Beside its a plate containing a completed quesapizza: two crispy tortilla wraps sandwiching their contents.

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Build Colors from Colors with CSS Relative Color Syntax

This is a repost promoting content originally published elsewhere. See more things Dan's reposted.

The feature here is that you can take a color you already have and manipulate its components. Which things you can change vary by the color space you choose, so for an RGB color you can change the red, green, blue, and alpha channels, for an HSL color you can change hue, saturation, lightness, and alpha, and for my beloved OKLCH you can change lightness, chroma, hue, and yes, opacity.

The syntax if you wanted to use this and not change anything about the color is:

oklch(from var(--color) l c h / 1)

But of course you can change each component, either swapping them entirely as with this which sets the lightness to 20%:

oklch(from var(--color) 20% c h / 1)

This is really something. I was aware that new colour functions were coming to CSS but kinda dropped the ball and didn’t notice that oklch(...) is, for the most part, usable in any modern browser. That’s a huge deal!

The OKLCH colour model makes more sense than RGB, covers a wider spectrum than HSL, and – on screens that support it – describes a (much) larger spectrum, providing access to a wider array of colours (with sensible fallbacks where they’re not supported). But more than that, the oklch(...) function provides good colour adaptation.

If you’ve ever used e.g. Sass’s darken(...) function and been disappointed when it seems to have a bigger impact on some colours than others… that’s because simple mathematical colour models don’t accurately reflect the complexities of human vision: some colours just look brighter, to us, thanks quirks of biochemistry, psychology, and evolution!

This colour vision curve feels to me a little like how pianos aren’t always tuned to equal-temper – i.e. how the maths of harmonics says that should be – but are instead tuned so that the lowest notes are tuned slightly flat and the highest notes slightly sharp to compensate for inharmonicity resulting from the varying stiffness of the strings. This means that their taut length alone doesn’t dictate what note humans think they hear: my understanding is that at these extremes, the difference in the way the wave propagates within the string results in an inharmonic overtone that makes these notes sound out-of-tune with the rest of the instrument unless compensated for with careful off-tuning! Humans experience something other than what the simple maths predicts, and so we compensate for it! (The quirk isn’t unique to the piano, but it’s most-obvious in plucked or struck strings, rather than in bowed strings, and for instruments with a wide range, of which a piano is of course both!)

OKLCH is like that. And with it as a model (and a quick calc(...) function), you can tell your CSS “make this colour 20% lighter” and get something that, for most humans, will actually look “20% lighter”, regardless of the initial hue. That’s cool.

I spent way too long playing with this colour picker while I understood this concept. And now I want to use it everywhere!

My Car is Sad

All! The! Warning! Lights! By the time a car needs to pahinate the error messages it wants to display, something has definitely gone wrong. 😬

Car dashboard with seven different warning lights on, plus a message advising that ABS and ESC are not working.

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