The Break-Up

Yesterday, Claire and I broke up.

We’ve had several rough months, and several even rougher weeks, and this seemed to be the best solution to a variety of difficulties we’ve faced recently. It’s hard to answer the question as to whether the split could be described as mutual, but it can certainly be described as amicable, if that’s enough. If not, then perhaps it might help to understand that we’re both, little doubt, unhappy, but that it’s better to end things now in a friendly way than, say, in six months time in an unfriendly way.

I’m sure that neither of us want to go in depth into the issues behind this break-up in the public forum, but I’m sure that those of you who are our friends are more than welcome to ask privately, “what happened?” I apologise to everybody for whom this comes as a shock (i.e. most of you, from what I gather).

I’ve no doubt that Claire and I will continue to be close friends and will kick arse in all the fabulous ways that you’re used to, whether in one another’s company or apart. And I expect I speak for both of us when I say that there’s a slap on the wrist waiting for anybody we catch “taking sides”: there are no sides to be taken.

Virgil wrote that omnia vincit amor – love conquers all – but he was wrong. Despite our love for one another, if Claire and I had carried on the way we were, people would have ended up hurt. I’m feeling drained and miserable, but it’ll pass, and all will be well again. For a quarter of my life thus far I’ve been Claire’s, and she’s been mine, and through one another we’ve done so much. For the last seven and a half years I’ve been thankful for the great richness of experience that my relationship with Claire has brought. There will always be a special place in my heart for her.

Thanks for reading. I think I shall go and sit quietly for a while, now.

Edit @ 21:20 01-Nov-2009: Claire has a few things to say, too.


  1. anonymous anonymous says:

    A couple of deeds poll later, and Claire and I are half-way to having changed our surnames. Our new surname: Q. I hereby declare this blog post to be the official FAQ of the Dan/Claire name change. So there, Ms Q. 1. You’ve changed your names? Yes, we’ve changed our names. I’m now “Dan Q”, and

    Read more →

  2. Ruth Ruth says:

    I’ve said this already but it’s worth saying again – I’m so sorry that it came to this and I hope you’ll both be ok, if not now then in the fullness of time.

  3. James James says:

    I’m sad for both of you to hear this. Best wishes for the future.

  4. Grant Grant says:

    Best wishes to both of you for getting through such a painful time.

  5. Katie Katie says:

    I don’t know what to say, past “here if you need me” and hugs. I doubt you will be, but do call if you’re short of someone to talk to when you need it, or if you just want to, of course – you’ve been there for me enough. Many hugs, Kxx

  6. Rory Rory says:

    *hugs* I’m really sorry it came to this, I hope you two can remain friends in the end.

  7. I’m sorry to hear it. Hope you’re both keeping as well as can be expected.

  8. Liz Hague Liz Hague says:

    Hey Dan. I hope you are OK (I will say the same on claires blog shortly). I truely love you both so much.


  9. Strokeyadam Strokeyadam says:

    Hope you’re both bearing up OK. Remember you’ve got loads of friends if you need anything

  10. Sarah Sarah says:

    Although I have been rubbish at keeping in touch in recent times, I still care, if you need me, you know where I am. Call me anytime x

  11. Feebeestar Feebeestar says:

    Lots of hugs being sent to you, and Claire. Also everyone else that this affects.

    You are both stronger than you may be thinking now, we are all here for you.

  12. Dan's Mum Dan's Mum says:

    This is really sad news and I feel for you (both). I guess, if the future you’d jointly foreseen was inevitably going to get worse, then you’ve done the right thing and you must both now give yourselves time to heal. Given everything else that’s going on at the moment you must be reeling son. It seems your cheese has moved again – hope you find it soon. Always here for you whenever you need me. Big hugs. Mum xxx

  13. jen jen says:

    Well Dan, I suppose this is just another part of it all, the pain of why we love, why it means so much, how entwined we can be and suddenly, inexplicitly, not. Not all love stories last forever but they’re still just as beautiful, perhaps more so than the longest love affair. If you want an ear I’ve got two, one for you and or claire, you can’t have both, that’ greedy. I’m far away but pretty close to you both. You and Claire, together or not are both always welcome here if you want a bit of time, of space, of guinness, of Jen (no not like that!).

    Lots of love

  14. Sarah (Spelt Jzxxy) Sarah (Spelt Jzxxy) says:

    Am sorry for both off you, it sucks and it hurts like hell but its all part off life, and your both loved by so many people and it everything will feel shiny again i due time! x x x x

  15. that was how I found it through freedeedpoll, it’s still a nice story though and a nice write up.

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