The Man With The Golden… Banana

Dan wins the Golden Banana
Dan with the Golden Banana

It’s been a fastastic weekend overall. First came my surprise receipt of several hundred pounds from my bank, yesterday. Then came an enjoyable Troma Night on Saturday evening, which could only have been made better if everybody hadn’t got beds to go to. Then to top it all off came last night’s promised open mic comedy night at The Angel.

The event’s given me such a buzz that I’ll forgive myself outright for this shameless blowing of my own trumpet: my set rocked. Yeah, of course I can pick holes in it – that’s what I do best – but folks laughed out loud and at length as I did my bits on Muslim extremism, astrology, psychotherapy, “I’m a little teapot,” and, probably best-receieved of all on a Rememberance Day evening, Hitler’s birthday party. At the end of the evening I was awarded a banana wrapped in gold foil wrapping paper, nailed to a plank of wood. This is my award, and, unusually, I found it hard to contain my self-conciousness… as the crowd started shouting out “Scatman, Scatman!” towards the end of the night.

This is just a fantastic end to an already great weekend. Some friends and I took the oppertunity to galvanise the moment with a glass or two of champagne at Wetherspoons, which turns out to have been a little bit sillier an idea than I’d first thought when I realised that I needed to be at the office this morning before 8am.

Also particularly worthy of mention last night are Adrian O’Toole, who remains a great stageman and did a great job of keeping charge of the evening after the task had been dumped upon him; the first act, Sam, who cracked a few classic gags in the face of a cold crowd; “Tony from Llanidloes”, who turned up late and still managed to remain confident and funny onstage; and Heather.

Yes, that Heather. Perhaps the single bravest person in the crowd last night was Heather, who lost her comedy virginity in a spat of well thought-out, clever bits of original observational comedy, only a little nervously delivered. If there’s one person who above all else deserves respect for their activities last night, it’s her. I tip my hat to you.

Thanks to everyone who came along and lent support. You made a good night great.


  1. Tony Jones Tony Jones says:

    Congratulations on your well-deserved victory – hope the banana is in pride of place.

  2. Crusty Crusty says:

    Your gran would have been proud (or perhaps ‘IS’ proud, I’ve not heard from her though that could be her trying to get in through the cat flap at night and winding the dogs up I suppose…….)- she always said you were a natural comedian….. remember trying to show her the part you had a play at school using a banana for a gun……. nearly had us all wetting outselves!


  3. Dan Q Dan Q says:

    “I CAN’T DO IT with A BANANA!!!”

  4. Faye Faye says:

    Congrats! I’d really love to see some of your stand-up, actually. Any chance of a dodgy cameraphone recording next time so it can go up on YouTube or similar?

  5. Faye Faye says:

    You know me – I’m dreadful when it comes to keeping up with things like clubs and what kind of performances they take. If I do hear of any places in Preston, though, I’ll let you know.

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