6 November, 2006

Competitive Week Naming

Turns out that last week was both British Sausage Week and National Vegan Week. How cool would it be if they’d both tried to book the same venue to stage their events. If I was the venue owner, I’d let them, if only to see the fight ensue.

Who’d win in a fight between sausage-fanatics and vege-freaks? We have to take several factors into account before placing bets, I feel:

Sausage-fanatics almost certainly get more protien and are quite possibly more muscular than their vegetarian arch-nemeses.
On the other hand, people who eat sausages for a living are more likely to be overweight than the veggies: the inevitable side-effect of a well-balanced diet taken too far.
People who enjoy sausages are almost certainly more numerous than people who don’t eat meat or animal products at all. Who doesn’t like a good sausage from time to time?
But then, vegans – particularly those who organise conferences – are significantly more likely than almost any other group to consist of militant nutters.

Other questions are raised, too: if the fight came down to the position of just one conference stand, and that stand belonged to a company that made vegetarian sausages, which side of the fight would they find themselves on? Or would they end up being equally-hated by both sides?

In honesty, I think the strong sausage-suckers would have it, easily kicking the collective arses of the lefty leaf-lickers. But they’d probably suffer heavy casualties themselves, mostly a result of cholesterol-induced heart attacks among the more portly members as they try to chase down retreating vegetarians with frankfurter forks.

What do you think?

One In A Thousand

Next up for review is Claire‘s new autobiography:

One In A Thousand

5 Stars A Real Eye-Opener by C. Waltham

Claire’s story is moving: a young girl, dragged into a the cult of an unwinnable game. From her early involvement in this “harmless” pursuit, we begin to see the true horror of what she went through and how it affected her ability to live her life. A particularly moving part is where, towards the end of the book, she successfully walks by a multi-storey car park without feeling the need to walk around it. Inspiring.

4 Stars Good, but not great by bookworm331

Most people who pick up this book will never before have heard about Consecutive Number Plate Spotting (CNPS) or CNPS Addiction Relapse Syndrome (CARS), but this is a real problem that affects a significant minority of people. I myself was diagnoses with CNPS addiction several years ago, and this book was a great reminder of the kinds of things I had to struggle through.

The biggest problem for many CNPS addicts is how alone it can feel. I’m sure if I’d had this book when I was actually a sufferer, I could have recovered a lot sooner.

Of course, with the introduction of the new British number plate styles, number plates suitable for CNPS are becoming rarer, and the disease will slowly disappear too. This book, while an inspiring story, comes a few years too late to help people suffering from CNPS addiction today. In addition, it lacks information on CNPS withdrawal symptoms, which caused me difficulty for some time after I was “cured.” Still, a great story.

1 Stars i dont get it by whiner

GOD knew that number plates would be dangerous when he wrote Revelations 13:16-18 and warned us all about this mark of the beast I really feel for the poor souls who have been trapped by this dangerous cult and pray for them every day but unless they repent then GOD will strike them down and they will answer to S*TAN!

I Just Happened To Have These Two Tickets

I’ve got two tickets to the research showing of the uncut version of The House On The Edge Of The Park, tonight, at the Arts Centre, but Claire‘s discovered that she can’t go, so, I’ve got a spare ticket. Does anybody want to come along with me and hold my hand during the scary bits^*?

Here’s the blurb: this Italian (wouldn’t you know it) film was submitted for a BBFC UK cinema certificate in March 1981, but because of the scenes of rape and violence it was rejected. In 2002, in light of changing times, a version of the film was cut that did get a certificate, but this was almost 12 minutes shorter, as several scenes had been removed. Tonight’s showing is possibly the first ever UK cinema screening of the uncut version.

I’ve got these two tickets as part of a research project into the attitude of the BBFC in censoring some kinds of material. After the show, we’ll be asked to fill in a quick questionnaire detailing things like whether we approve of the kinds of things shown in the film being censored or not. It’s likely to be at least a little horrific, if the BBFC saw fit to censor it in the first place, but it’s got potential. The film could be shite, but it’s unlikely to be worse that most of the crap we watch every week at Troma Night.

If you want to come along (it’s at 5:30 at the Arts Centre) with me, leave a comment here, or give me a call. First-come, first-served.

^* Hand-holding is not mandatory.

EDIT: We have a winner! Gareth from work just shouted across to me that he wants to come.