Operation: Collaborative Cottaging

Tomorrow’s the big day when Claire and I move virtually everything we own from The Place to The Cottage. We’re picking up the keys at 9am, and we’re likely to be doing our first unloading at about 9:30am.

This is where you come in. Yes, you! While we could probably manage this box-moving farce all by ourselves, we’d rather have the company of our friends to help us lift heavy things, push things around, pack things, unpack thinigs, and shout at Claire when she keeps trying to get away with sitting down and doing nothing or at Dan when he tries to ride any wheeled box or filing cabinet down the hill. In exchange for your help, we’ll supply you with food and probably booze throughout the day; plus you’ll get to see The Cottage before it gets filled with people next weekend for Geek Night and, perhaps, Troma Night.

But better than that, you’ll earn our love and respect, which will be dispensed in multiples of 1, 3, 5 and 10 unit “Love And Respect” vouchers, redeemable for sexual favours at The Cottage’s gift shop.

If you can’t help on Monday there’s always Tuesday and Wednesday, when we’re also likely to be moving stuff and cleaning up The Place. Vouchers have no cash value and are not actually redeemable or existant. The Place, The Cottage, Love and Respect are copyrights of Dan & Claire’s Marvellous Journey Ltd. The Cottage gift shop may or may not actually exist. Food will probably be provided by Upper Limit Cafe and Burger King – at least until all the kitchen stuff is moved in – and alcohol by Thresher and Kanes, but this is open to negotiation and liable to change without notice. If you want to help, please phone at least quarter of an hour before you can turn up to save you from walking to the wrong place and finding us not there, natch. Bring your own umbrella.


  1. The Pacifist The Pacifist says:

    “Collaborative Cottaging” – how exactly do you cottage on your own? It wouldn’t really work………

  2. Becky Becky says:

    I would love to come and help but i have got lots of GCSEs to fail. Wish me luck!!!

  3. BigGayAdam BigGayAdam says:

    Apologies for not being able to help out with the move – I’m afraid work rather got in the way. Hope the unpacking goes well (I’m free on Thursday should you need the traditional cup of sugar) and, of course, should you not be properly settled in by Sat you’re welcome to have Troma night here.

  4. Kester Kester says:

    Hello I like yu website, t mek me laugh in big wy cos yu fo some thinkg I wouldnöt ever !!!!


  5. Kester Kester says:

    Also I ike your ahr and fih. keas rply >I ain Sweden parsifal

Reply here

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Reply on your own site

Reply by email

I'd love to hear what you think. Send an email to b955@danq.me; be sure to let me know if you're happy for your comment to appear on the Web!