Tesco Delivery Service

I originally tried to post this message from my mobile phone, on the journey back from Norfolk, but fucked it up and failed miserabley. So here’s a second attempt:

On the way back, in accordance with The Tradition, Claire and I visited Tesco in Wisbech (The Tradition dictates that any Aberite who leaves Aberysywth to visit a real town – defined here as a town that has a Tesco supermarket – they must bring back Tesco cookies [mmmm…] for the folks back in Aber). Well, we have. First come, first served. They’re good, by the way.

In any case, while I was at the checkout at Tesco I was looking at a leaflet which explained the terms and conditions of their “spend £50 on shopping and get it delivered free” deal. The deal states that tobacco products, and baby milk formula products, do not count towards this £50 “free delivery quota”.

Let’s summarise – here are some products available at Tesco, which are available either seasonally or year-round, which you could buy £50 of and have delivered to your door:

  • Fireworks
  • Painkilling mediciation (as far as I can tell, the limit on paracetemol purchases only applies to direct “over-the-counter” purchases, and delivery may provide a loophole)
  • Computer hardware
  • Alcoholic drinks
  • Firelighting equipment, including highly-flammable petroleum blocks, firelighting bricks, and lighter fluid

Here are the things you can order online, but which do not count towards your “must order £50 worth of stuff” quota for free delivery, no matter how much of it you buy (even if you buy £50, £100, or £150 worth of a single product):

  • Tobacco
  • Powdered milk for babies

Is it just me that’s a little confused by this? Why can I buy £150 of, say, kiwi fruit from Tesco’s online store, and have it delivered for free to my door, but if I buy £49 of kiwi fruit and £150 of powdered milk, I can’t? But as soon as I replace my mammoth powdered-milk order with, say, nappies… or baby wipes… or jars of baby food… it’s fine?

Is there something about baby milk formula that I don’t know? Perhaps something it has in common with tobacco, that makes the pair of them completely unsuitable for transit to paying customers, regardless of how much they want? No – that can’t be it, because they will still deliver these things, just not for free unless you buy other things, too. Then perhaps it’s an economic thing, and they heavily subsidise their baby formula… but they’ll still let you buy hundreds of pounds of it in-store.

Really; this has me completely baffled: Claire and I talked about it for awhile, and we can’t think of a single reason why they won’t count the value of baby milk formula towards your minimum value for free delivery. So… if anybody can enlighten us, please do.

In other news, we’re back in Aber. Cookies are available. And we’re going to the Ship & Castle this evening and you’re welcome to join us for drinks, discussion about the film, and perhaps a game of Chez Geek or Chrononauts. See you there.


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