This repost was published in hindsight, on 11 March 2019.
I’ve been having feelings of general worthlessness and pointless recently, which Dan has dubbed my “quarter life crisis”. Basically, I’m 20, and I’m supposed to be all adult, and useful to the world. I didn’t want to ever grow up. I have very little to show for my twenty years of life, I don’t do anything much that affects the world at large or even my own little world. I feel like I’ve floated through life so far, like a piece of driftwood, or an electron – taking the line of least resistance all the way.
This is going to change. As I said to Dan yesterday, it’s all worthless and pointless when all I do is think about how worthless and pointless it all is. So, bored of being a whining teenager, and wanting to justify my own existance, I’m going to DO things. Less talk, more doing, thinking, travelling, experiencing.
I’ve begun to enjoy working at McDonalds, sadly, but i still need a job where I can earn more for doing less so that I don’t feel constantly tired.
Rant of the day: Bruises, scrapes and burns.
Not a work-day goes by where I don’t injure myself in some way. Some of this, I admit, could be put down to general clumsiness on my part but I know people who’ve been there longer than I who have more scars. The fry station – hot fat, hot baskets, hot fries, hot metal everywhere, and I have to move fries about quickly and accurately. The floor – always slippy for some reason, my “regulation” flat bottomed shoes have little grip. The spatulas – metal, sharp, hot. I have a bruise on my leg from turning too quickly and knocking “Archie” (the fry machine) when I’d taken off the guards to clean him. The boiling water that comes out of the tap for tea. It hurts. There’s no way to keep safe, especially when you have to work so quickly. But, they put “Wet floor” signs and “Careful, it’s hot” everywhere, so it’s all ok.
But as I said. Less talk. More do.