fun – Page 19

Idea Of The Day From Alex And Dan I

Wouldn’t the world be so much better a place if Brits had to go through some kind of vetting procedure – a test of sorts – before they were permitted to go on holiday to Ibiza?

An example extract from an interview might be:

Interviewer : Question twelve: if you were to be granted passage to go to Ibiza, how would you spend your time there?
Applicant : I’d dress up as a girl, go out with my mates, get completely wrecked, make unwanted advances towards women, and take the piss out of the locals.
Interviewer : Okay… I’m afraid we’re going to have to decline your application. Have you considered Antarctica?

Safe Road Use Of Elephants

Aside from the main point of this article, I found it most amusing to find that state-run Indian elephants are fitted with reflectors ‘in an attempt to prevent road accidents’. What does it take to accidentally crash into an elephant?

Silliest Thing I’ve Seen All Week

As this hilarious BBC news story tells it, an artist came home to his Liverpool house to find that:

(a) A criminal had broken in to his home.
(b) Mistaking a piece of his artwork as a human head in a jar, the criminal turned himself in to the police to tell them about it. He also confessed all of his crimes to his mother.
(c) The police broke down the door and raided the house, and found that the contents of the jar were merely formaldehyde and a mask made from rashers of bacon.

I laughed.

Now I’m going home. I’m not feeling top-form today.

Friday Morning

Wow. Seen the Quake IV Leaked Screenshots [mirror]. Due for release on the last day of the year, based on these stills alone I’d say that it’s going to be something quite spectacular… and will involve a terrier…

Off to work…

Almost Passed This On The Way To Work

Another fantastic story from the BBC: this one took place yesterday, and so I missed it, as I didn’t come in to work. Apparently this lorry full of cheese caught fire on the A44, on my usual route to the office. The driver said: “I saw the fire starting but by the time I’d gone back to the cab to get the fire extinguisher the whole lot had started to go on fire.”

1. Cheese burns?
2. What route did he take back to the cab? Via Bow Street?
3. How does combusion occur in the hold of a moving lorry full of milk produce?

Sandplough

As this report by the BBC states, Danish soldiers in Iraq were surprised when their latest supplies shipment, instead of containing much-needed morphine and tent equipment, contained a snowplough and a supply of lawnmowers.

Now; okay – I understand that mistakes happen, and perhaps there was a mix-up between two supplies orders… but somebody must have signed-off this snowplough to Iraq… didn’t they think to question the order just once?

Defense Minister Svend Aage Jensby has told one Danish paper, Ekstra Bladet, of his displeasure over the mistakes and has promised to put them right.

That lit up my Thursday morning.

Ice-Cream Van Hijacked

How do you hold your head high in criminal circles after you pull off a crime like this:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/southern_counties/3012692.stm