Tag: children
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8-year-old, looking like a haystack: "Why do I have to brush my hair? I did it yesterday!"
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White's move. Mate in three. A giant chessboard is the perfect environment to teach a child some basic chess strategy, right?
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A girl studies a chessboard on a lawn, watched over by two men: Dan and JTA.
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Brought the kids up Knipe Scar with limited and challenging art materials (huge sheets of paper and thick marker pens) for a lesson in drawing what a landscape makes you feel, rather than focusing on what you can actually see.
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Two children on a rocky green hillside each draw on a sheet of A1 paper.
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"I know that losing your job was hard," my 8-year-old said to me this evening, "So you can borrow this." He handed me his newest soft toy.
"It'll help you feel better when you're sad. Keep him for the week."
😭
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'Squishmallow' soft toy in the shape of a fat snake with a starry belly, sitting on a grey pillow.
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8-year-old, angry: Give me that fucking thing right now!
Me: [Child's name]! That's not an acceptable way to ask for something!
8-year-old, calmer: Sorry. PLEASE can you give me that fucking thing?
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For a little while I got to lie in the sunshine and read my book in quiet solitude. But before long I found I was sharing it with a small child and his noisy games console.
Still delightful, though, and it feels wonderfully Spring-like out there today.
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Dan, seen from his 'head' end, lies in a hammock with a green book, 'Bored Gay Werewolf' on his belly. At the other end of the hammock a boy plays on a Nintendo Switch. Around them is a garden containing a climbing frame and a washing line full of white shirts and sheets.
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Third day of being ill with what's probably a winter vomiting bug, with one child home sick from school... and just having had to collect the other kid who started throwing up on his school trip... I finally got back to my bed and picked up the next book on my pile, Becky Chambers' A Psalm for the Willd-Built.
The opening page reads: "For anybody who could use a break."
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Printed serifed text reading: 'For anybody who could use a break.'
Yes. Yes, please.
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God's Adviser
When I was a young child I took part in a school nativity play, and was so insistent about picking holes in the theological inconsistencies implied by the script that I had to be expelled from the classroom. Here's how it went down.
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My 8-year-old asked me "In Spanish, I need to use an upside-down interrobang at the start of the sentence‽" (I assume the answer is yes!)
A little while later, I thought to check whether Unicode defines a codepoint for an inverted interrobang. Yup: ‽ =
U+203D, ⸘ =U+2E18. Nice.(And yet we don't have codepoints to differentiate between single-bar and double-bar "cifrão" dollar signs...)
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I'm staying in a lodge in the Yorkshire Dales National Park to celebrate the eldest kid's birthday and we've just received a huge dump of snow, overnight. What was grass is now a thick white carpet of fresh powder. Sounds like a great birthday present for an excited kid I can just hear beginning to wake up...
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Snow- covered meadow, uh a fence running through it, with snowy winter woods beyond.
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My Ball
One of my dog's favourite games is 'My Ball', in which my role is to want the toy that she is guarding. It's all about the motivation, you see! Which is like some of the games I used to play with our eldest, when she was a toddler, I realise.
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Our family tradition on New Year's Day is to go to the Rollright Stones. Legend has it that you can't count the standing stones and get the same answer twice.
This year the younger child counted 37, the elder 67... so wide a difference that you can see how one might ascribe a mystical reason!
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A stone circle in the rain. Some people (and a dog) are walking around it.
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Christmas Jumper Day at school, and I'm continuing my never-ending effort never to rest on my laurels, proving myself time and again worthy of my title of Most Embarrassing Parent.
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Three people in a decorated hallway, wearing Christmas jumpers and headgear. Dan, in the centre, is wearing a jumper designed to make him look like a tiny elf, and a matching hat. To his right, a girl wears a jumper showing Rudolf, and a pair of spring-mounted reindeer deely-boppers. To his left, a boy with his eyes closed throws a thumbs-up: he's wearing a jumper with a pixel-art picture of Santa, and a wooly Santa hat.
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Building another secret cabinet
When I was ten, I'd have killed to have a secret compartment hidden in my bedroom bookshelves. And once she'd seen the one I built for my own room, earlier this year, my ten-year-old predictably wanted one of her own, too. Luckily I had the spare parts and, now, the experience to make her one. Awesome.
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Today, while I cooked dinner, I introduced my two children (aged 10 and 8) to Goat Simulator.
Within half an hour, they'd added an imaginative twist and a role-playing element. My eldest had decreed themselves Angel of Goats and the younger Goat Devil and the two were locked in an endless battle to control the holy land at the top of a rollercoaster.
The shrieks of joy and surprise from the living room could be heard throughout the entire house. Perhaps our whole village.