Page 370 – Dan Q

U.W.A. Professor Dies At ‘Massage’ Parlour

I laughed.

[picture rem0ved]

The chap pictured above, a certain Dr. Williams, professor in economics and astronomy, was found dead this morning at a massage parlour in Cardiff (full story here). Just out of curiosity, I looked up the parlour in question. sexywales.com reports it as follows:

A Touch Of Class Massage
112 Woodville Road, Cardiff
029 2023 6880

It turns out that one has to go all the way to Cardiff to get a good prostitute. I’ve looked on PunterNet UK, and I can’t find any reviews in Aberystwyth at all! It anybody knows of any working girls in Aber, please submit them to PunterNet, as they seem to be lacking!

Anyway; that naughty issue aside, I’ll get back to work.

A Violent Evening In

Spent yesterday evening drinking and playing Cel Damage with Bryn, Kit and Claire. Cel Damage is a stupidly fun game on the Nintendo GameCube in which up to four players drive cartoon cars around a zany landscape attempting to kill one another in bizzare ways, such as chopping with axes, harpooning, tricking into falling down Acme Portable Holes, burning, shredding, chainsawing, flattening, chaingunning… It’s a lot of fun. Like MarioKart, but with an attitude problem.

Stayed up too late and, as a result, woke up late this morning. Will get into the office yet. But first I oughtta dig up some clothes from the heaps I still haven’t unpacked since laundry day.

In other news: Bryn managed to find a place to live in Aber for his industry year, and Paul – another friend, this time a hat-wearing Troma-freak – may also have found somewhere here. Updates to follow.

How To Fix A Flat Car Battery For Beginners

Unfortunatley my plans for a nice relaxed evening over a pint were delayed somewhat by having to help to fix Claire’s car, first. In a fantastic display of sense she’d left the headlights on on Sunday night, and all through Monday, and so by Tuesday the battery was very, very dead.

So she, Bryn, Kit and I stood in a cold and rainy car park, trying to remove Bryn’s car battery to get Claire’s car going, then switch back to her battery while it’s running so we could charge it with a nice long drive. But no such luck: the considerate engineers at Vauxhall decided that to remove the battery you must either (a) own a spanner with a neck width about the size of a human hair or (b) remove the engine first.

Thankfully I was able to persuade a taxi driver at the nearby rank to drive around with some jump leads and get her going. Suddenly this made things a lot easier.

In brighter news, Bryn got offered a year in industry placement with the National Library of Wales, which means that he, too, will be living in Aberystwyth for the summer.

Secret Site Launch

Happy with my new weblog, I’m launching it now. And, just out of curiosity, I’m not going to tell anybody about it, and see how long it takes people to notice.

Yes; I really am ‘just odd like that’.

Anyway – that’s enough goofing around on the internet at work for me… I’m off to goof around on the internet at home, interrupted only by a pint with Claire, Kit and Bryn, and a look at Kit’s newly-cleaned fish tanks. What an exciting life I lead.

Scatmania Launched

Well; I finally did it. I finally got myself a weblog. After weeks of peer pressure by such friends as Paul, Alec, and Kit with their shiny LiveJournals, I decided to have one of my own.

Just to remind anybody who doesn’t already know that this isn’t, technically, my first weblog. My first one ran from 1998 to 1999 – before the term ‘blog’ was coined, and before it became fashionable to ramble on about yourself online. The “Avatar Diary”, on my old, old web site, was a source of perpetual interest from all kinds of people for some time. Well; until I got a scary cyberstalker (really, it scared me, and very little does), and then I packed it in.

I suppose now I’d better get something more productive done. I’m not getting paid for this.

Review of Enter the Matrix (PC)

This review originally appeared on Amazon. See more reviews by Dan.

Enter the Matrix (PC), Video Game

Rating: ⭐⭐

Released Five Months Too Soon

As a professional software developer (and an avid fan of The Matrix), I can tell you what went wrong with this game: it was released too soon! While great in principle – and a fantastic idea – it is let down terribly by the fact that it looks and feels like it’s been released early in order to meet the film’s release date.

It needs another five months work to be of release standard. While it has some cool features, it’s buggy as hell, has some major user interface issues, and some graphical and AI glitches. I’d love to think that they’ll release an update patch to fix these, but as their primary market is console owners, I sadly doubt that this will happen.

I bought my copy on the day of it’s release. I’ll be selling it as soon as I find someone to palm it off onto.

Troma Night VI pictures

Photos from Troma Night VI, at which we watched Surf Nazis Must Die, Real Time, and 28 Days Later, presented without further context:

Also a video of Paul performing our traditional starting activity – throwing a sponge from the window:

Troma Night V pictures

Photos from Troma Night V, at which we watched Les Mémés Cannibales (Rabid Grannies), Citizen Toxie : The Toxic Avenger Part 4, and Monty Python and The Quest For The Holy Grail, presented without further context:

Also a video of Paul telling Mark about Enter the Matrix:

Troma Night IV pictures

Photos from Troma Night IV, at which we watched Class of Nuke’Em High, Beware: Children at Play, and Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life, presented without further context:

May Ball 2003

These images were shared here in hindsight, on 25 May 2019.

Hollywood Pizza Menu

Hot Chocolate

Sugar Cubes

Claire (with an avangel.com sticker on her forehead) with Dan

Review of Windows XP Home Edition Upgrade

This review originally appeared on Amazon. See more reviews by Dan.

Windows XP Home Edition Upgrade, CD-ROM

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐

Use Windows XP Pro

The XP Suite of Operating Systems IS good, but why go for the Home edition? It’s fundamentally crippled. Most of the code remains the same as for the Professional edition, but the majority of the really useful features have been disabled.

Splash out a little more money and get the Professional edition.

Easter Break

I’m sitting doing some work on a web site for one of our clients, and Reb (you know, the ex-girlfriend) sends me another text message:

you around for easter? xx

As it happens, I won’t be. I could go visit my family for Easter, but this would result in two things happening:

My family would eat lots of chocolate, and I wouldn’t, on account of the fact that if I did my head would explode and I would die horribley.
I’d have to meet up with Reb.

I think I’ll stay in Aberystwyth. I’ve got heaps of work to do, anyway.

Kit and I ate at Burger King this evening, and each had one of their fantastic new special offer “Tex-Mex” burgers. They’re like their quarter-pounders, but with spicy cheese and spicy relish and… fresh jalapeno peppers instead of gherkins. Sweet.

Spent most of the evening playing the Alpha test of YoHoHo! Puzzle Pirates, which seems to occupy most of my time and probably my internet bandwidth at the moment. Ho hum.