Apparently I could be a scientologist, so says the Belief-O-Matic. Okay, it’s not at the top of the list, but it’s still almost within the “top 10” guesses.
I guess I must have mis-ticked the “I believe that my body is weighed down by the souls of aliens who were vaporised by atomic volcanoes 75 million years ago” checkbox. That’d explain it.