Getting Your Money’s Worth On Pizza Hut Salads

I’ve always enjoyed free food at pizza places. On my 16th birthday, I went to Winston’s Pizza in Preston for their lunchtime buffet “all you can eat” deal. We took board games. Four hours (and many, many slices of pizza and bottles of beer) later, we were finally thrown out: the manager let us have the food and even the drinks for free in exchange for us leaving. That was a fab birthday party.

Once, I got a free meal from Pizza Hut when they used to do their “food in 10 minutes or it’s free” deal. The timers are tamper-proof, so the trick is ensuring that the waitstaff get distracted by something on the way back to your table. They don’t do that special offer any more. I wonder why?

But here’s somebody who really takes the biscuit. Well; the salad, anyway. A number of particularly creative Taiwanese students have found the way to maximise their ROI at Pizza Hut, using their engineering inginuity to fill a salad bowl (without spilling) to over a foot high. Well worth a look.

A Question Of Honour

If your girlfriend and your sister are in a fight, who are you supposed to defend?

That’s one of the many questions that went through my mind on Saturday at Houghton Tower’s orchestra and fireworks display. It was the usual affair of music and fireworks and excessive patriotism, dampened only by the dampening effect of the rain leaking through our gazebo. I made the mistake of wearing sandals, and got very cold and wet until I’d drunk a sufficient quantity of white wine that I couldn’t feel the pain any more. My mum managed to run into an ankle-high wooden post and trip over, sustaining no injuries – but when her boyfriend, Andy, ran to aid her, he tripped over the same post and broke a bone in his hand.

The night seemed shorter than usual. The band just seemed to pack up and go home, without even playing the national anthem, as they usually do to finish (we all sang “God Save The Aubergine” as loudly as we could to try to give them the hint, but all we achieved was the infuriation of some nearby flag-wavers). Nonetheless, the music and the fireworks were great.

We’re back in town now, but we’re likely to be away again towards the tail end of my week. My gran, who was taken into hospital last week, has now been diagnosed with an advanced lung cancer which has spread to her liver: nobody’s yet said how long they expect her to live, but we’re probably looking at a number of weeks that can be counted on your fingers… less, if she continues to insist that the hospital are trying to kill her and refusing medication. My mum’s going up there mid-week and we’re hoping to join her by the weekend, all other things permitting. Apologies to the Troma Night folks, again.