mum – Dan Q

Guinness in the Bath

It’s been a long day of driving around Ireland, scrambling through forests, navigating to a hashpoint, exploring a medieval castle, dodging the rain, finding a series of geocaches, getting lost up a hill in the dark, and generally having a kickass time with one of my very favourite people on this earth: my mum.

And now it’s time for a long soak in a hot bath with a pint of the black stuff and my RSS reader for company. A perfect finish.

[Bloganuary] Landslide

This post is part of my attempt at Bloganuary 2024. Today’s prompt is:

What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?

Boo to this prompt! This Bloganuary already asked me how I like to play and about five things I do for fun; now it wants me to choose the thing I “enjoy most” from, presumably, that same set.

This prompt does not win my approval.

So I’m going to ignore this prompt.¹ Instead, let’s go look up last year’s prompt from the same day:²

What is a song or poem that speaks to you and why?

Much better.

Landslide, by Fleetwood Mac.

I’ll save you looking it up: here’s a good live recording to put on while you keep reading.

At 5½ years older than me, the song’s been in my life effectively forever. But its themes of love and loss, overcoming naivety, growing up and moving on… have grown in significance to and with me as I’ve grown older. And to hear Stevie Nicks speak about it, it feels like it has for her as well, which just doubles the feeling it creates of timeless relevance.

In concert, Nicks would often dedicate the song to her father, which lead to all manner of speculation about the lyrics being about the importance of family. And there’s definitely an undertone of that in there: when in 2015 she confirmed that it was about a challenging moment of decision in her youth in which she was torn between continuing to try to “make it” as a musical act with her then-partner Lindsey Buckingham or return to education. Her father was apparently supportive of either option but favoured the latter.

Ultimately she chose the former and it worked out well for her career… although of course the pair’s romantic relationship eventually collapsed. And so the song’s lyrics, originally about indecision, grow into a new interpretation: one of sliding doors moments, of “what ifs”. In some parallel universe Stevie Nicks dropped out of Buckingham Nicks before Keith Olsen introduced Lindsey Buckingham to Mick Fleetwood, and we’d probably never have heard Landslide.³

Stevie still sings Landslide in concert, and now it feels like it’s entered its third life and lends itself a whole new interpretation. Those lyrics about turning around and looking back, which were originally about reconsidering the choices you made in your youth and the path you’d set yourself on, take on a whole new dimension when sung by somebody as they grow through their 60s and into their 70s!

In particular, coming to the song as a parent⁴ is a whole other thing. Its thoughts on innocence and growing-up, and watching your children do so, reminds me of my perpetual struggle with comparing myself to the best parent I know. An intergenerational effort to be my best me; to look forwards with courage and backwards with compassion for myself.

All of which is pretty awesome for a song that under other circumstances might be just a catchy twist on a classic country rock chord progression with some good singing. Sliding doors, eh?

Footnotes

¹ It’s my damn blog; I can do what I want.

² This is my first year doing Bloganuary, so I didn’t get to answer this prompt last time around.

³ Nor, for that matter, any of the other excellent songs that came out of Nicks’ and Buckingham’s strained relationship, such as Silver Springs, Second Hand News and, perhaps most-famously, Go Your Own Way. I guess sometimes you need the sad times to make the best art.

⁴ Nicks, of course, famously isn’t a parent, but I refer you to a 2001 interview in which she said “No children, no husband. My particular mission maybe wasn’t to be a mom and a wife. Maybe my particular mission was to write songs to make moms and wives feel better.”.

Thanks, Mum

Thanks, Mum.

Thanks for your company. You’re family, sure, but more than that, you’re one of my best friends. Whether it’s a long-overdue chat about the state of the world, a drunken night in with awful films, a gaming session with the girls, or an evening at the theatre, you always make time for us. You’re never more than a phone call or e-mail away, and that’s awesome.

Thanks for being the mother my friends are jealous of me having.

Thanks for your support. When things are rough, I know that you care. A long, long time ago, you saw fit to remind me that no matter what happens, you’ll always be there to help, and just knowing that seems to make everything go right. You’re my lucky clover.

Thanks for giving me the respect you’d give another adult, even when I wasn’t one.

Thanks for your advice. You’re one of the smartest, wisest people I know, and you’re unafraid to speak your mind. I admire the way you explain yourself, listen to others, and mediate. But thanks, too, for letting me make my own mistakes, and for supporting me even when you knew I was wrong.

Thanks for being humble enough that you’ll scoff when you read this.

Thanks for my upbringing. Thanks for instilling into me a set of virtues that are both idealistic and pragmatic. Thanks for teaching me to question everything, and not take anything at face value. And thank you – thank you so much – for making sure that for my entire life, there’s never been a moment when I’ve felt unloved.

Just… thanks, Mum. I love you.

Dan