Page 377 – Dan Q

MyFirstTime Contribution

The following somewhat-autobiographical post was originally shared via website www.thefirsttime.com on 15 November 1998. It was republished here on 22 March 2021.

What feels like eons ago, when I was a mere stripling of a 13 year old, I was ‘caught in the act’ of shoplifting. It hadn’t even been my idea, which pissed me off even more, but several weeks ago my friend Martin (equally young) told me about how he’d successfully stolen computer software from right under the noses of a nearby shop.

I tagged along with him, and he demonstrated his art of stripping away the security tag and the box, pocketing the media, and walking out under the guise of enquiring at the desk about something completely different.

Over the following three weeks we’d go in every few days, pocket a game or two each, and escape… The adrenaline buzz was frantic, and however cleanly we always got away, we always broke into a run the moment we were out of the car park. I stole, in total, about 8 games. Martin took, in the period of this story, somewhere in the region of 9 or 10. He had, after all, had a headstart!

However, on what must have been our 9th or 10th ‘raid’, it all went drastically wrong. We slipped into the store casually, as usual, and made our way to the appropriate aisle. I felt sure that we were being followed, and kept one eye always on the shelf assistant who always seemed to be watching us… Martin picked up the game – I think it was “Jet Racer” or something to that effect – and asked why I hadn’t already got one. I pointed out the assistant who I thought was watching us, and urged Martin that we should just leave. He wouldn’t have it. He dumped the security tag and the packaging between a gap in the shelves, and we hastened for the exit.

We got through the checkouts with no problem, and were just approaching the exit doors when out of nowhere the assistant I’d seen earlier appeared in front of us. He accused us of shoplifting and asked that we empty our pockets. I cam up clean, of course, but the fact that Martin was red-handed meant that I could at least be got for “Aiding And Abetting”… But no – when the police came Martin just had to fulfil his moral obligation to tell them about all the games I’d stolen, too… Fuck him, then…

My parents, as you can imagine, took it very well when I came home in a police car.

Universities!

From my UCAS form:

1. Y50        UNIVERSITY OF YORK
   MEng Honours in Computer Systems and Software Engineering
   GG67       MEng/CSySE

2. A40        THE UNIVERSITY OF WALES, ABERYSTWTH
   MEng Honours in Software Engineering
   G700       MEng/SE

3. M20        THE UNIVERSITY OF MANCHESTER
   BSc Honours in Computer Science
   G500       BSc/CS

4. E56        THE UNIVERSITY OF EDINBURGH
   BEng Honours in Computer Science
   G501       BEng/CoS

5. CLANC      CENT. LANCS
   BSc Honours in Software Engineering
   G700       BSc/SE

Panning Around Dan

The following graphic is almost 1½MB large, and may take some time to load. Please be patient. It will happen, eventually.

Retrospective (27 July 2020): I’ve just recovered this old web page from a backup. This image and the description above first appeared late in 1998 on the “about” page of my original blog. Remember when 1½MB was considered a huge weight for a web page?

Placeholder for Dan’s First Blog Post

Dan’s first blog post was made on this date. Its existence and the date of its publication can be derived from other sources, but its contents have been lost. It didn’t have a title. It will have been available at http://castle.onza.net/ (and then later http://castle.onza.net/diary/) from the date of its publication through 1 October 1999.

This post acts as a placeholder in the unlikely event that its content can one day be recovered.

MOVE IN PROGRESS

Castle of the Four Winds is currently in the process of moving to it’s new location at castle.onza.net. Please alter your bookmarks and links, then check out the NEW-AND-IMPROVED-SITE!

My GeekCode

This page was posted to one of my first websites, on 25 March 1998 (as well as appearing in my email/usenet signatures etc.). It was republished here on 22 March 2021.

-----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
Version: 3.1 (www.geekcode.com)
GPd->+s:a17C++U--P!L(+)E-W+++N++oK+++w>---O+M-V?PS++PEY-
PGP(-)t-(--)5X-R+@tv>-b+++DI@D+++>++G++e>+++++h!*@r!z+
------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------

Mother’s Day

This image was shared here in hindsight, on 25 May 2019. I didn’t actually start blogging until around August 1998. I’m the guy in the top right, in the Independence Day t-shirt. Anticlockwise from me are my cousins Stephen and Thomas, my Uncle Tom (my mother’s brother), my sister Becky, my Auntie Anne, my sister Sarah, my maternal grandmother, and a woman – whose name I forget – that one of my cousins was dating at the time.

LORD II – Preston College Version

This document was shared on my college Intranet and via a hidden URL on my first website, on 11 December 1997. It was republished here on 22 March 2021. It provides instructions for players of the multiplayer DOOR game I adapted for local network play and the world I built within it for my friends to explore. The game world was an adaptation of our very own Preston College but transplanted to a fantasy realm.

LEGEND OF THE RED DRAGON II – Preston College Version

You have probably been given this sheet because you have requested a chance to take part in one of the most fast-moving and user-interactive multi user games on earth. I’ve spent a lot of time recently reprogramming Seth Able Robinson’s Bulletin Board System game, Legend Of The Red Dragon II (with his permission) to customise it and make it suitable for network play.

But – I’m sure this waffle is worthless to you; so here are the instructions you need:

To run the software:

Drop to an MS-DOS shell using the appropriate icon. Change to the ALEVEL.001 directory, if you’re not already there, by typing CD\ALEVEL.001. Type PC (abbreviation of Preston College) to start. You will be asked for your user name and password. These should be on a slip of paper attached to the foot of this sheet. Your password will be hidden from view for security.

Upon logging in for the first time you will see a menu from which you can choose to see the instructions, and other functions, or start the game. It is recommended that you read the instructions now, though do remember it is possible to get to them from the game by tapping ?.

Assuming you’ve discovered how to play, by one means or another, here is a list of some people and places in the game you might want to visit.

(Please note : The map of Preston College in the game is only representative, and not necessarily accurate. There is most definitely not a cult temple or a stone circle on campus…)

ENROLMENT

Until you have visited here you won’t have a membership card, which allows you access to much of the game. It’s one of the first places your character should visit.

STUDENT SERVICES

Right next door to enrolment, this cool office will buy junk that you don’t want any more from you.

THE BEASTMAN

Kevin Geldard, your computing teacher, lives in an office on the Ground Floor of the Main Building. Though he can be prone to rambling on and persistently saying “BEAST!” in the middle of otherwise sane-sounding sentences, he’s the key to a lot of the game world, and a valuable resource.

NETWORK SERVER

Found within the I.T. Block, this machine is the hub of all the computers in the college. With it it’s possible to really screw up somebody’s student record. However, it’s kept under lock and key.

VENDING MACHINES

Keep your eye out for these, as you can buy food and drinks from them. Different foodstuffs restore different quantities of Hit Points, so try them all (remember that some also have extra purposes beyond the obvious…)

MESSAGE BOARDS

Scattered around the college, these appear as a coloured section of wall. You can write messages on them to other players, to arrange trade, combat and other meetings.

SOUTHERN PATH AND SAVICK BROOK

This dirt path, found beyond the amphitheatre, is a dangerous land. Head to it to practice your combat skills, and earn a little money and experience while you’re at it. The brook is a barrier, protecting the campus from the Lands Of Chaos beyond. It is possible to cross the river at the bridge, but only the greatest warriors are allowed across.

TEMPLE OF NIG

The Disciples of Nig, a religious cult, have established themselves within the campus. Finding their temple will enable you to meditate there. Check the daily College Bulletin (by pressing D) to find out if the Disciples are celebrating a festival to determine if it is worth your while to go there.

STONE CIRCLE

It is believed that the black altar within this strange circle of standing stones is blessed with a power beyond that of this world.

REFECTORY

This safe haven is a land of protection from other players. Take refuge here to escape the blows of your enemies. Just remember that you need your Student ID Card to get in.

NESCAFE BAR

The place to hang out if you’re waiting for somebody. Right next to a message board, and with easy access to the main doors, you can settle down here if you don’t quite require the level of security the refectory provides.

Addiction; a monologue

This declaration was posted to one of my first websites, on 1 November 1997. It was republished here on 22 March 2021.

(lights up on a computer nerd, with no dress sense and even less common sense. Perhaps with jam-jar glasses and spiky hair. He’s sat in front of a blank computer terminal.)

Nerd:

They say I’ve got nobody to blame but myself. Except possibly those bastards at British Telecom. And their lawyers, for that matter. Okay, so I might not have used the phone line that much, but it’s hard, you see? I’m a net addict, and they’ve given me my sentence. They’ve sentenced me to “not having a phone line” for a period of “until you can pay your past bills”.

At least we ended up making the settlement out of court. At least BT’s bastards put that small print line on their contract that says “this does not affect your statutory rights”. Yeh – no problem… All I have to do now is make the several hundred pounds necessary to pay off my past bills, and they might just give me my phone line back.

Bastards.

It’s not my fault that I’m an Internet addict. I bet those bastards at BT are in with the Internet Service Provider people. I bet they’re just ecstatic about people like me. I bet the bastards just love to invite me to one of their “meetings” where they watch you squirm uncomfortably in your chair and tentatively fondle the few remaining coins in the bottom of your meaningless wallet.

I’ve tried to get over it. I’ve sat and re-read my old e-Mails time and time again, but it’s not the same. I’ve got people trying to get through, and I’ll never know.

I wonder if I can claim for loss of earnings? Nah – I never make any money nowadays anyway…

Bastards.

So here I am, suffering the symptoms of my deprivation. The other Internet addicts say it’s like heroin in an addicts veins; the pulse of surfing down a telephone line. But it’s not. Heroin addicts can get over it. For me, it’s like castration. I’ll never get my life back.

There’s nothing better than to come in on an evening, log on, and wave to the world. Hit a chat-channel and surf the web. You get some real jerks on there – net newbies – sometimes, but you’ve just gotta know where to shop and you’re part of the gang. It doesn’t matter who’s there, what they’re like or whether you’ll never meet them again. They’re your friends, and you’re part of the gang.

Bastards.

I didn’t waste my phone time. No way. I used all those clever programs that your mates give you on CD’s. I use the latest software. I get every ounce of power out of my already bulging-to-explosion point PC. Admittedly, I spend the money I save in this way on, well, more net-time, but at least it shows that I can economise. Kind of…

So here I am. No phone line; no friends. I’m a net-nobody. I’m disconnected. I’m powered down. I’m dead.

Life’s a bitch, innit?

WildCat BBS

This image was shared here in hindsight, on 22 March 2021. I didn’t actually start blogging until around August 1998; the message and text below were published on a bulletin board system to which I contributed.

The picture above illustrates the software I have just ordered

Declaration of Hardware

This declaration was posted to one of my first websites, on 22 April 1997; I’m not certain why. From the sounds of things I was using a school computer at the time. It was republished here on 22 March 2021.

I am using an RM PC-433S Accelerator on a 486 Nimbus Network, operating a Brother M-1824L dot matrix and a Brother HL-8e laser jet. I am using a mouse and a 102-key keyboard. The monitor is capable of displaying up to 256 colours in VGA, at a resolution of 640×480.

“Daniel nearly 22 months”

This photo, taken 2 October 1982 and showing me at just 22 months old, might be the oldest picture of myself that I own on which I can pin a specific date. (Obviously) I didn’t start blogging until much later: my first real “blog” began in late 1998; this photo was posted here retroactively on 25 May 2019.