Argh bluh fuckshit arsebanditwankers.
Work stuff. Tuesday stuff. Home stuff. Student Skills Competition stuff. Name change stuff. Bills, code, letters and stuff that chases them all.
Suddenly finding yourself using skills you probably should have forgotten. Drinking the wrong amount. Eating the wrong amount. Being ill for a whole weekend and a bit. The wrong music
for the wrong feelings. Fuck ’em all. Too many conversations that’ll be too hard and all at the wrong times. Stupid fucking mistakes long ago raising their ugly little heads. All
heaping up into a pile I feel like I’m hiding behind in a lonely little place, all by myself even when I’m not. Ah; fuck it all.
So; that’s the summary of the shittier, more stress-inducing bits of my week, conveniently shrunk to a smaller font size and faded to a lighter colour as part of an effort to pretend that none of it’s a problem and for the benefit of readers who quite rightly don’t give a shit. If I’m bad company, I’m sorry, but I’m only so sorry as I can muster the energy to be.
I’ll pull myself together – it’s on my list – but that’s next week’s job. For the time being, you’ll have to quicklime your own corpses: I’ve got too many to do already.
Right; on with the list. Oh; and don’t forget to support your department at the Student Skills Competition tomorrow.
please remember the type of people that read your journal. it will be ok, i will try and come and see you tomorrow.
take a day at time, remember we are all here for you, and all the other sayings.
hope you feel better
Repeat after me:
I am a good person.
I mean a lot to a lot of people.
It’s silly to pretend no-one cares.
I’m going to stop pretending that nothing ever gets to me, and admit that sometimes I need support and maybe even (*shocker*) help.
I want to buy Ruth a pie.
Mmmm, pie.
As to all that other stuff, it does sound like you’re having a hard time at the moment. If there’s anything any of us can do, you only need to ask.
I know it’s only a little thing, but if you need me to take over any tickets for you on a certain collaborative project we’re both involved in, that’s not a problem.
I already solved the Tuesday problem for you. While you were sleeping, I made it Wednesday instead. What a great friend I am :)
Aw hope you’re feeling less stressed soon *hugs*.
Thanks, all (and to Ele, too). Having got the Student Skills Competition out of the way, I’m feeling a little better. Still got plenty to do, but at least it’s all scheduled. I’m not normally one for a blogrant, but there we go.
Ruth, I owe you a pie, but you’re looking at the wrong Tuesday.