Breakups as HTTP Response Codes

103: Early Hints ("I'm not sure this can last forever.")
103: Early Hints (“I’m not sure this can last forever.”)
300: Multiple Choices ("There are so many ways I can do better than you.")
300: Multiple Choices (“There are so many ways I can do better than you.”)
303: See Other ("You should date other people.")
303: See Other (“You should date other people.”)
304: Not Modified ("With you, I feel like I'm stagnating.")
304: Not Modified (“With you, I feel like I’m stagnating.”)
402: Payment Required ("I am a prostitute.")
402: Payment Required (“I am a prostitute.”)
403: Forbidden ("You don't get this any more.")
403: Forbidden (“You don’t get this any more.”)
406: Not Acceptable ("I could never introduce you to my parents.")
406: Not Acceptable (“I could never introduce you to my parents.”)
408: Request Timeout ("You keep saying you'll propose but you never do.")
408: Request Timeout (“You keep saying you’ll propose but you never do.”)
409: Conflict ("We hate each other.")
409: Conflict (“We hate each other.”)
410: Gone (ghosted)
410: Gone (ghosted)
411: Length Required ("Your penis is too small.")
411: Length Required (“Your penis is too small.”)
413: Payload Too Large ("Your penis is too big.")
413: Payload Too Large (“Your penis is too big.”)
416: Range Not Satisfied ("Our sex life is boring and repretitive.")
416: Range Not Satisfied (“Our sex life is boring and repretitive.”)
425: Too Early ("Your premature ejaculation is a problem.")
425: Too Early (“Your premature ejaculation is a problem.”)
428: Precondition Failed ("You're still sleeping with your ex-!?")
428: Precondition Failed (“You’re still sleeping with your ex-!?”)
429: Too Many Requests ("You're so demanding!")
429: Too Many Requests (“You’re so demanding!”)
451: Unavailable for Legal Reasons ("I'm married to somebody else.")
451: Unavailable for Legal Reasons (“I’m married to somebody else.”)
502: Bad Gateway ("Your pussy is awful.")
502: Bad Gateway (“Your pussy is awful.”)
508: Loop Detected ("We just keep fighting.")
508: Loop Detected (“We just keep fighting.”)

With thanks to Ruth for the conversation that inspired these pictures, and apologies to the rest of the Internet for creating them.

103: Early Hints ("I'm not sure this can last forever.")× 300: Multiple Choices ("There are so many ways I can do better than you.")× 303: See Other ("You should date other people.")× 304: Not Modified ("With you, I feel like I'm stagnating.")× 402: Payment Required ("I am a prostitute.")× 403: Forbidden ("You don't get this any more.")× 406: Not Acceptable ("I could never introduce you to my parents.")× 408: Request Timeout ("You keep saying you'll propose but you never do.")× 409: Conflict ("We hate each other.")× 410: Gone (ghosted)× 411: Length Required ("Your penis is too small.")× 413: Payload Too Large ("Your penis is too big.")× 416: Range Not Satisfied ("Our sex life is boring and repretitive.")× 425: Too Early ("Your premature ejaculation is a problem.")× 428: Precondition Failed ("You're still sleeping with your ex-!?")× 429: Too Many Requests ("You're so demanding!")× 451: Unavailable for Legal Reasons ("I'm married to somebody else.")× 502: Bad Gateway ("Your pussy is awful.")× 508: Loop Detected ("We just keep fighting.")×

3 comments

  1. Spencer Spencer says:

    No 404 not found? That seems like a common complaint.

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