Not everyone with lots of lovers thinks more about those relationships, but I do appreciate that Dan does so. I stick by my guitar analogy. It is patronising to suggest that you are more thoughtful about relationships *because* you are poly. I don’t think that’s true at all. It’s just as easy to be thoughtless about many people as it is about one. A monogamous person could easily have more relationship experience than a poly person, too, only in series rather than parallel.

If your advice works for everyone, just package it as “relationship advice”. When I write about relationships, that’s what I do. There’s no special extra insight from being poly — what you learn comes from being open-minded and thinking about relationships, which anyone, no matter their relationship status, can do.