> What counts is your reasoning.

We have a fundamental difference of opinion, then. Because I find most points of view on something so difficult as feminism very difficult to explain from first principles on the internet. What counts for me is the respect I have for someone’s wisdom and integrity. If they say a thing I don’t understand, but I’ve seen them to be a sensible, loving person with a deep understanding of life, then I’ll often take them at face value without needing to have it all explained. And then I’m happy to go away and think and then ask small questions later.

This idea that everything can be explained by reasoning seems to come from philosophy debate, or from discussions of mathematical logic. And it doesn’t seem to bear true! Otherwise, all internet conversations would end with nodding, reasonable agreement. That’s not how it works. This one has already seen people, for example, use the words disgusting, disappointing and horrifying to describe what they think my viewpoints are. And these are people I’ve hugged in all cheerfulness! I can’t understand how people would be happy to hug me on one hand, and believe me capable of holding disgusting and horrifying viewpoints on the other. Surely it’s more likely that I don’t think what they think I think. But I’m already on the back foot.

But, ok. You’ve said that this comments space is for debate. So I’ll go away, because I hate that.