Thanks for posting this! It’s a great take. Certainly poly people tend to be guilty of these things, and I’ve done some of these.

It’s easy to overstate the significance of “mono privilege”

Well, I think that mono privilege can show up in a lot of subtle ways. I covered some of these in the “assumptions about relationships” section, but there’s lots more. We tend to trip over these, often by surprise.

That said, clearly it is possible for us to get past not having mono privilege, or there wouldn’t be any poly people. So while this stuff is annoying, it is not always debilitating.

Also, there’s other complexities to the situation. Monogamy, while still the definite norm, has taken a conceptual beating over the last forty years. (Which is probably why polyamory is doing well.) We see this all over the place: “the old ball and chain”, assumptions that monogamy must be boring or sexless, and so on. So while the culture does make polyamory difficult, it’s simultaneously creating problems for monogamous people, just different sorts of problems.