“One particular couple took the approach of being so cool with it they didn’t even feel the need to pass comment on it”

Was this me and Sian?

If so then it was more that there were too many immediate questions which presented themselves and I couldn’t think which one I wanted to ask first. I was unsurprised to find that you’d made this ‘step’ – beyond the initial ‘hello, what’s going on? oh that must be what’s going on’ which lasted under a minute.

I honestly see no problem with this kind of thing. I’ve thought about it a fair bit since learning you were ‘quadding’ and I think it’s a positive step. Who wants jealousy and possesiveness in their relationship? Who honestly thinks one person can provide all the companionship you’ll ever need? This strikes me as a very honest way to structure your life. I imagine most of the negative reactions are kneejerk ones. Your point about love not being a finite resource is spot on and well made.

I’m sure I’ve said some of this already actually in Ruth’s blog.

It seems almost patronising to say ‘good luck with it’ given how easy you’ve made it sound. Nonetheless I hope you’ll take it as wishing you well rather than implying in any way that you’ll need luck.