I was going to blog about it from my perspective, afterwards, but Dan put everything so well and covered it all so comprehensively, that it didn’t seem necessary. One thing I did want to clarify, though, is that it’s not “a relationship”. It’s 4-6 relationships, depending on your definition of what counts. As I see it, a relationship is between 2 people. Dan can’t speak for the relationships he’s not in, but as a corner of a square he can speak for what it’s like when your relationships and your lovers’ relationships form interesting 2d shapes.
As for us all going 4 separate ways, I don’t think that’s likely. I’d be surprised if something so catastrophic happened that caused *all four* of the current relationships to break up simultaneously. I’d also be surprised if we all stayed together forever as we are, ended up all moving in together and having children and generally living as a family in contentment (Though I’d very much *like* this to happen). Most likely something in between those two things will happen. However, we can lean fate in our favour by striving for what we want to happen, whilst having a healthy “enjoy the ride” attitude. As Dan said, I think it’s the presenting attitude of “isn’t everything fabulous” that somewhat hides the careful thought and discussion the goes on behind the scenes. It’s working well because we’re working at it, just like any relationship.
Having more close relationships is a lot more work, there is a limit to the time and energy of each person. It’s about balancing all the different kinds of relationships you have in a way that keeps all the other people happy and you sane. I feel the point of having a relationship of any sort is to experience it, not to achieve a particular outcome.