I’ve changed my mind; I’m willing to risk offending your relatives.

Mr Armstrong: Your actions are very unfair in this. If you knew Dan at all, you’d know that he tries very hard to avoid offending or upsetting anyone. He’s a good person. You, on the other hand, seem quite willing to say things which are potentially hurtful and definitely rude (it’s an opinion – just because you don’t agree with it doesn’t make it “rude”).

I’m sorry you found something upsetting in this post about how pleased Dan was at the possibility that you might be ok with him being who he is. And I’m very sorry that your wife was upset, there’s nothing more horrible than seeing the people you care about being unhappy. But I don’t see why you aren’t willing to try and talk this through, figure out what went wrong, and make peace.

If you’re considering just disregarding this in anger as you did Dan’s attempts to calm the situation down, I’d like to ask you to think again. I know we’ve never met and I have no right to ask anything of you, but even though I don’t know you, I know Dan well. And I can promise you he didn’t mean to hurt you or yours.