The one that cracks me up – although I find it more amusing than irritating – is the ‘I turned round to him…’ factor.

Paul Merton relayed a good example on Room 101 once about overhearing a conversation in a pub, in which the two guys kept saying things like ‘So he turns round to me…’, ‘I turned round to him…’, ‘You can’t turn round to me and say that…’ – the effect is like a pair of spinning tops.

I rather like the concept of ‘physically’ programming something. It puts me in mind of that fourth dimension to mentioned dreaming about.